Fathers have a huge influence on us.
They love us unconditionally, they protect us, they make us feel safe. They support us, they give us advice, they shape us. They root for us, they are our ultimate cheerleader. We seek their approval above all else so we strive and overdo to exceed their expectations of us.
Heaven forbid, we let them down.
I see this with my clients and other women I know. I used to want the approval of my dad and other male authority figures in my life so I get it. The problem is when we prioritize their advice and point of view over our own.
When I was killing it as an executive in Silicon Valley, I was getting ready to go on sabbatical. The company I worked for gave us a 4 week sabbatical every 4 years. I hadn’t taken vacation for some time so I was adding 2 weeks accrued vacation. I was going away for 6 weeks – no email, no worries, all fun! I was beyond ecstatic.
I had planned a trip to Italy, with my new Italian boyfriend.
A needed break and a trip I so deserved.
I told my dad I was leaving work for 6 weeks. He said, if you’re gone for that long, won’t the company forget about you?? Will you still have a job when you get back??
Whoa. Bubble bursting comment. Even though I knew he was from a different era where sabbaticals didn’t exist, I let his comment affect me.
We need to listen deeply to ourselves and determine what is right and what is wrong for us. We get to decide what is true and what isn’t. We get to decide which voices or people we listen to. We get to decide how much we let others influence our thoughts, feelings and actions.
Stand in your power. Be the authority of your own life.
