We want to think we’re living on our terms but more often than not, we aren’t.
It’s easy not to succumb to societal pressures, work situations and all kinds of relationships require things of us. We care about meeting the expectations of others, we want to make others happy so we conform, accommodate and compromise. It’s just what we do.
I see this with clients and friends, all of whom are high performers and super successful.
Here are a few examples:
Your spouse/partner/friend wants you to do things for them so you do. Because you want to please them and don’t want to rock the boat
You’re being offered the coveted job you really want and instead of speaking up about a bigger salary, you take the offer you are given
You meet the demands of your high maintenance client – all the time – for fear they will take their business elsewhere
Your child wants what he/she wants and because your love for them is immense, you give it to them – because you see no other way
Your colleague or executive is uber anal and demanding and because he/she can have emotional outbursts, you do what they want – always
The truth is, life is one big negotiation. Like all negotiations, you first need to be clear on what your terms are.
Second, you need to show up at the bargaining table.
Next time before you cave into the demands of another, ask yourself these questions:
What is the best outcome – for both of us?
What am I willing to give to get?
What isn’t acceptable to me?
How important is this person or situation to me?
Living life on your terms is not for the faint of heart – it takes awareness, clarity, courage, conviction and a whole lotta self respect. Know your terms and where you stand in any situation and most importantly, know when to walk away. Your self worth depends on it.
