Blame – it’s always a no-win situation.
Our culture thrives on blame. Companies blame, politicians blame, and we blame our partners, spouses, colleagues, parents, kids, friends – every day – for what they did or didn’t do. When something goes wrong, we like to have a reason why it happened. We point the finger, we pass the buck.
It’s easier to blame another than to accept responsibility.
I love this Katherine Hepburn quote:
“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers — but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.”
No one likes to be blamed or accused. It hurts. It makes you feel misunderstood and creates negative emotions which always lead to not feeling good about yourself.
The next time something happens that you don’t like, before you play the blame game, ask yourself these questions:
Am I judging the situation or person?
What part did I play in this?
What can I learn from the situation?
How can this turn into a win-win?
It takes courage to admit you are wrong or that you contributed to a situation. It takes courage to own your ugly. When you blame, you give away your power. True power is taking radical responsibility for your actions AND having radical self-acceptance – at the same time.
