When a topic comes up three times in a week, I usually write about it. I am compelled to write today about getting real and seeing the truth in every situation. Yep. It’s time to take off the rose-colored glasses.
Here are a few examples of what I am talking about:
A prospective client says he/she doesn’t want to work with your company but you are convinced you can change his/her mind
The person you are romantically involved with tells you he/she wants to ‘just be friends’ and you say, he/she will come around
Your partner says he/she doesn’t want to go to therapy to work on your relationship but you think you can persuade him/her to go
Your boss tells you that you’re not working out in your position and you work harder to prove yourself
It’s not easy to face the truth, especially when we don’t like it. Many of us want to see what we want to see. We’d rather run away, cajole, manipulate, sweet talk our way out of it, blame another or brainwash ourselves into thinking we can will what we want to happen to fruition. Rather than accepting what the other person is telling us, we’d rather deny it.
Next time you anticipate having a difficult conversation with someone who has a very different perspective, use these 5 steps to ensure a connected and constructive conversation:
1. Take what the other person tells you at face value. Believe what they say. Period.
2. Don’t judge, react or make the other person wrong. Leave your emotions out of it.
3. Ask Why. Be curious and open to the other person’s point of view.
4. Don’t take what they say personally. Seriously, it’s never about you.
5. Accept their truth. There is no black and white in any situation.
Truth is power because that’s when things can change. Once you know the truth, you can pivot. You can create options. You can create possibilities. You can create choices you didn’t know you had! And, you get to decide what truly empowers you and choose the best option for you.
The truth will set you free.
