As a career and life-freedom coach, I often have people ask me for help when they are negotiating job offers. No matter what age and how much experience, I have found a common theme. Woman, no matter how confident and accomplished they are, have a tough time asking for what they want in a salary negotiation.
Here are recent examples of women I have worked with:
- A 29 year old woman negotiating with a very cool, hip, fashion and lifestyle start-up
- A woman in her 40’s negotiating for her dream job with an up and coming consumer products company
- A highly experienced 50+ year old woman negotiating with a management consultant firm
Each of these three women is well educated, extremely smart, articulate, professional and accomplished in their own right. Before they got a formal offer, they did their homework on salary ranges and relative comps for the position they were seeking in their respective industries. Once they had a formal offer in hand, the salary offered was lower than what their research had shown.
I had a similar conversation with each woman even though their specific situation was unique to them. “Once you have an offer in hand, undoubtedly, this is your most powerful position during the interview process. Remember, They Want You – You are the Prize. Ask for What You Want. Ask for What You Are Worth. Ask for What You Deserve. If You Don’t Ask, You Won’t Know. Now, a caveat. I’m not suggesting you take out your Wonder Woman sword and go into battle. Think of your negotiation as a conversation. Be clear in your communication, connected and cordial.”
I’ve worked in executive search with hundreds of candidates. It’s been my experience, once a man enters into salary negotiations, he has no hesitation asking for the compensation he wants and thinks he deserves. So why is it difficult for a woman to ask for what she wants? I think most women, while growing up, aren’t taught to embrace their self worth, especially in a professional, career sense, like men are taught. Women feel apprehensive about negotiating because they don’t want to be seen as aggressive. As we all know, society and the media don’t know how to handle forceful women. Even with all the powerful, accomplished women in the world today, there’s still a long way to go.
Learning to negotiate and asking for what you want is a skill that any person, man, woman or child, can learn and perfect. You just need to try. It may be uncomfortable or even scary the first time you negotiate and ask for your value. If you get an answer that is less than optimal, pause. Perhaps, propose a creative solution that can work for you AND your soon to be employer. Once you understand the art of it and start getting the results you want, it will be smooth sailing ahead.
If you’d like to learn how to negotiation effectively in your career, I can help. Check out my coaching packages and sign up for your free 30 minute coaching session here.