by Amy Matthews | Feb 8, 2021 | In-Power, Mindset |
I was talking with a potential client early this week. She reached out because she wanted help figuring out what to work on to feel more comfortable at work. She’s smart, strategic and a high performer, as most of my clients are.
As we started to dig into her situation, I learned she works at an entrepreneurial company within a small team and the only female. It quickly became clear she needed help expressing her desires to her boss. She wanted more involvement in strategic projects and have her boss mentor her. Both fair requests. She knew what she wanted but was looking for the right words, something I help my clients with all the time.
We talked about how men and women communicate differently, how to have an intention for every conversation and how to be succinct and direct (just say it). She was clear on what to say yet she was holding back from saying it. She started questioning and doubting herself and had these all too familiar thoughts swirling in her head:
Can I ask for what I want?
How will I be perceived?
What if he says NO?
What if come across as too aggressive?
Then she recalled this story:
When she was applying for one of her first jobs, she asked a male friend for feedback on her cover letter. He dissected it, took out paragraphs that were fillers and helped her get to the point. Then he said to her: CHANNEL YOUR INNER WHITE MAN.
That got my attention. I get that phrase may be offensive to some, yet it works for this particular client. The truth is, we all identify with words that make us feel more powerful and confident. What words work for you? Here are a few ideas to get the party started:
CHANNEL YOUR INNER BADASS
CHANNEL YOUR INNER GODDESS
CHANNEL YOUR INNER WARRIOR
CHANNEL YOUR INNER SUPER HERO
If we all channeled a more confident and direct version of ourselves, asked for what we wanted, while not taking things personally, we would be powerful beyond measure.
To get the results you want from your next strategic conversation, channel your inner fill in the blank. Try it, it works.
by Amy Matthews | Jan 26, 2021 | Business, In-Power |
You’ve heard me say this A LOT.
Standing in our truth is essential for living an authentic + purpose-driven life.
I have helped loads of professionals gain clarity on what they want to say and how to say it, whether it be to a boss, employee, client, colleague, romantic partner, or friend. Knowing our truth is one thing, yet, knowing when to express it, is another.
I remember years ago when I was just learning to my truth, I got clear on what was true for me and drummed up the courage to express what I was feeling to a man I was dating. Truth be told, what came out of my mouth wasn’t pretty. It was messy.
Communication is an art and it takes practice.
Communicating your truth will give you greater power and freedom in your life, yet just because you have an urge to share, think about whether what you want to say will land with the other person. Will the other person be able to hear you? Will it bring you closer or farther apart? What is your reason for sharing?
Here are simple and proven communication strategies for any conversation:
1. Know what you want to say
2. Keep it simple
3. Be confident in your point of view
4. Speak from your heart with compassion
5. Be present and listen
6. Look for synergistic outcomes
If you’ve been putting off the “promotion” conversation with your boss, or the “relationship” conversation or something else is top of mind, book your free Communication Clarity Call with me here. In just 30 minutes, you’ll have a solution to what’s eating at you.
Stand in Your Truth
by Amy Matthews | Jan 13, 2021 | In-Power, Mindset |
I was walking my dog, Pie, the day all hell broke loose in the Capital. Though it was raining, she needed to get outside and truth be told, I needed a break from the chaos. It was an unnerving day for all.
While on our walk, I encountered a man with a St. Bernard. We stopped to chat and let our dogs say hello. Pie, who weighs a mere 18 pounds, began to stare down the St Bernard from eight feet away, who my guess, weighs 110-120 pounds.
Then the play began. Pie held her own with this HUGE dog. She wasn’t intimidated, she wasn’t fearful, she didn’t feel threatened. She didn’t acquiesce to a dog that weighed 5 times what she weighs. NO WAY! She exuded confidence, determination persistence, and joy.
Then the man said, “She owns her power. AND she’s happy.” I laughed. He nailed it or better yet, he nailed who she is. It was the perfect exchange while processing the monumental events of the day.
There will always be people who think they are “bigger” than us. We all have encountered a bully or two in our lifetime, whether it be a CEO, a boss, a family member, a friend or a president. Here’s the thing: we get to decide whether we acquiesce. Those who abuse their power and mistreat others lack self-esteem, confidence and are not happy. Nuff said.
Own your power and be happy.
by Amy Matthews | Dec 30, 2020 | Inspiration, Mindset |
As we move into 2021, there is hope on the horizon, optimism in the air, and a glimpse of a brighter future. Though we aren’t out of the weeds yet and it won’t be all sunshine and rainbows, one thing is for sure. The new year will be better than the last.
It’s a powerful time to think about what we want to create and bring into our lives in the coming year.
It’s time to get intentional.
When I first start working with a new client, I ask them to create an intention for working together. If the goal is to find a new position, I want them to think about how they want to feel in the new role. Their intention can look something like this:
I am utilizing my superpowers at a company/brand that I deeply resonate with and love. My boss is awesome and I am valued for my contribution. My role is a perfect fit for me and I landed exactly where I’m supposed to be. I am getting the time with my family that I hold so dear and I feel energized, joyful, and am creating community.
Or if the goal is to get promoted into a leadership position, their intention looks something like this:
I wake up every day energized and excited to start my day. I show up authentically and no longer doubt myself and my actions. I speak up for what I believe in, stand for my team, and am confident in my leadership style. I feel a sense of ease in my life that I haven’t felt before.
No matter your goal, whether it’s around work, finding love or creating more abundance in your life, taking the time to write out the details allows you to be honest with yourself about what you truly want. Once you have it down on paper, open up to it. Believe wholeheartedly in it and allow the universe to answer you. Create a strategy, get into action and when it arrives, have the confidence to say YES.
Life is what you dream up.
As the new year begins, wishing you joy, ease, and magic.
Joy is imperative, especially now.
Joy gives us strength, energy, and stamina for what we need to do in the world.
To reconnect with YOUR joy, join me on the Eat the Brownie Challenge. Take an 8-day journey of introspection, inspiration, and passion with daily practices that support a connection with what makes you come alive, while easy-to-use tools help keep you on track.
by Amy Matthews | Dec 23, 2020 | In-Power, Inspiration |
I was standing in line yesterday at a cafe to pick up a to-go order. A woman ahead of me, exclaimed: “I can’t wait until 2020 is over!” A familiar sentiment I have heard so often since last spring.
Our limits have been tested. It’s been a year of growth for each and every one of us.
Initially, we focused on what we didn’t have, couldn’t do, and didn’t like. We felt a myriad of emotions – sad, pissed, frustrated, and scared. Yet, as the year progressed, we started to accept our circumstances. We became more flexible, adaptable, and resilient. Less set in our ways, less married to our own point of view. We became more receptive and opened up to new possibilities and opportunities. Found joy and gratitude in the simple things. And, many went deeper within to consider what wasn’t working in their lives and found the courage to make necessary changes that support their ultimate happiness.
The truth is, there has been a lot of loss and pain while at the same time, so much has been accomplished too.
I have clients who have been promoted, one who adopted a baby, several who created new businesses, built their brands, websites launched, funding secured, and had their best year ever. Others who have moved across the country, or bought new homes. I have other clients who have let go of perfectionism and overdoing and stepped into their most authentic and confident selves.
Take five minutes to ponder these three questions and write down your answers:
What are the positive outcomes from this year?
What have you accomplished this year?
What are you most proud of?
Wishing you a relaxing, heart-filled, and joyful holiday season!
