by Amy Matthews | May 13, 2020 | In-Power, Mindset |
Communication is one of the first things to be tossed out the window during a crisis.
Almost everyone I know has had some sort of communication snafu with a boss, spouse, partner, child, coworker or friend. Truth be told, this new situation we find ourselves in has only exacerbated problems already known. Before COVID and Shelter in Place, we could sweep an issue under the rug, put our head in the sand and pray it would go away. In this new normal, it’s more like a blinking red light. We need to stop, look both ways, listen and speak up before we proceed forward.
Much of my work is helping clients cut through mental confusion, understand their needs, stay focused, gain clarity and communicate with confidence and conviction. Clear communication and influence is the #1 skill for leaders, especially during a crisis. You’ve heard me say this before: every single person is a leader. A leader at work, with our partner, with family and friends, with pets and in our community.
Here are a few situations my clients have found themselves in:
A client moved in with her boyfriend, pre-Covid. Early on, she realized she needed more alone time than he did. We talked about how to have the conversation but at the time, she wasn’t ready and didn’t want to rock the boat. Post-Covid, with 24/7 togetherness, let’s just say her need for “space” has drastically increased.
Two of my clients work for established technology companies. They are individual contributors yet they are being asked to lead their teammates and do the job of two people. They are beyond stressed and sleep-deprived. As they prioritize their job over their own needs, self-care has also been tossed out the window.
Another client, once an empty nester, has a house full of kids again. Yet another example of how COVID has added more responsibility to our plates. More cooking, more planning, more cleaning, more emotional support, along with managing her job. She is more stressed than she’s been in years.
Can you relate to any of these stories?
None of us were given the manual titled “How to Communicate Your Needs, Especially during COVID.” Yet just like any successful relationship, communication is the key. It’s up to us to understand what our needs are and communicate them with clarity and compassion.
You don’t have to carry the whole world, family, entire company or team on your shoulders. Be willing to speak up and ask for what you need in a connected and kind way.
In response to showing up for yourself, you’ll get what you need. I promise.
by Amy Matthews | May 5, 2020 | In-Power, Mindset |
Over the past 5 1/2 years since I founded my company, I’ve written and talked a ton about giving ourselves permission to be, do, think and say – who and what we want. Even though it’s our birthright to express ourselves authentically, some of us poo poo it. We’ve been conditioned by society that to get what we want – whether it be love, approval or success – we need to be and act a certain way.
No wonder. Women are taught to be good girls. To not rock the boat. To be demure. To not be ‘too big’. To put others first, always. Men are taught to be good boys. To be strong. To be in charge. To not share their feelings. To Man Up.
Following these rules leads to judging ourselves because we hold ourselves to such high standards. When we judge ourselves and play the comparison game, we end up judging everyone else in our lives. Nobody wants to be on the receiving end of that.
Here are a few things I’ve heard from clients and friends most recently:
I’m ashamed I let off steam, sang and danced wildly. it’s just not appropriate.
If I am honest and candid with my boss, she will think I’m complaining.
If I speak up on zoom calls, I’m concerned I’ll come across as too direct.
I can’t express my needs to my partner. I don’t want to come across as needy.
The truth is, the rules have changed. There hasn’t been a better time to #Breakfree from the rules that trap us, keep us small, keep us quiet, keep us safe, keep us “appropriate.” The new world after COVID will demand it of us so we might as well start making permanent changes now.
It’s time to give ourselves permission to show up unapologetically. It’s time to let our authentic selves shine and share our truth. It’s time to filter out the old rules that no longer serve and replace them with new ones that bring more joy and freedom into our lives.
What rules are you giving yourself permission to throw out? I liken it to cleaning out your closet. Get rid of the stuff that no longer resonates so you have room for the new.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 30, 2020 | Business, Inspiration |
I’m super blessed to have wonderful clients, friends, and family. I’d like to share a few inspirational stories with you.
One of my clients has had a vision to become a speaker on the stage for years. She works in the corporate world, busting her butt while moving up the ladder. Her job serves a very practical need as she’s a single mother but it doesn’t fulfill her. A month ago, she was furloughed. After receiving the news, some people would have pulled back and not pursued their dream. But what did my client do? She said, “it’s a sign from the universe. I want to make an investment in myself and turn my vision into reality.” She hired me to help her develop her brand clarity, messaging and copy. By the time her furlough is lifted, she will have a platform and website that expresses her authenticity and aligned offerings. Boom!
Another client who works for the largest social media company hired me to help her develop her leadership skills. She works in a ‘crisis group’ which was an intense job before COVID and is now exponentially more chaotic. She has to work four more hours a day to get what she needs to get done. Even though her time is precious, she takes the time to grow her leadership skills and is becoming a powerful communicator. Boom!
A dear friend of mine is in the high-end travel business. She curates once in a lifetime adventures all over the world for affluent clients. It’s her dream job and her trips are off the charts. Needless to say, she isn’t jetting off to foreign destinations. What did she do? She got out of her comfort zone. She is now blogging about her past travels and inspiring and uplifting her readers. Boom!
How are you making lemonade? Do tell! Please hit reply to this email and share your stories. I will compile them and send them out in an upcoming newsletter.
Life sometimes brings us lemons.
We get to choose to make sweet, luscious, liquid nectar out of it.
Let’s make lemonade together and rise up for one another.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 21, 2020 | Business, In-Power, Inspiration |
I’ve had many conversations over the past few weeks with clients, colleagues, friends and family about the challenges they’re facing and the disappointments they’re feeling.
Rightfully so, disappointment is widespread and frustration is at an all-time high.
High school and college grads aren’t able to graduate
Dream job interviews are at a standstill
Doing the job of two people
Working from home while homeschooling kids
Cash flow problems
Laid off or furloughed
Rocky relationships due to too much togetherness
Dating has come to a screaming halt
Do you resonate with any of the above or is there a bigger challenge you are facing? I want to know.
When we don’t get what we want – when we get a picture in our minds of an ideal outcome and get attached to it, disappointment rears its head. Disappointment makes us feel unmotivated. We think: what’s the point?
Here’s the point. Successful people aren’t spending their days binge-watching or reading the news. They have a schedule and a routine. They are planning their day, week, month – not year – ahead. They are thinking of creative ways to pivot. They are innovating and thinking outside the box. They are strategizing about how to get their dream business off the ground. They are looking forward to the simple things – every day.
If we believe that life is on hold, then life is on hold. If we believe that life is full of opportunity, then life is full of opportunity. We can move forward without attaching to a certain outcome. We can be adaptable and flexible and most importantly, have a positive attitude about our future.
Let go of the life you created in your mind. Open up to the life that’s in front of you. Let’s get into action and envision our future. No more waiting.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 15, 2020 | In-Power, Inspiration, Mindset |
We are in a transformational time. I liken it to a butterfly struggling to squeeze out of its tight cocoon. Perhaps just like the butterfly, this ‘downtime‘ is training us to strengthen our wings so we morph into expanded versions of ourselves.
What have you learned or what do you want to bring forward – once we have fewer restrictions?
Perhaps your patience and appreciation muscles are stronger. Or you have more gratitude for health and your circumstances. Or genuine kindness and compassion for everyone. Or you no longer keep up with the Joneses. Or give a hoot what others are up to on a Saturday night. Or you are committed to your own self-care. Or you have decided your job isn’t worth the sacrifice – anymore. Or that you have learned to slow down and focus on what truly matters.
Or, you are ready to spread your wings and build a life – on your own terms.
It takes courage to build a life on your terms. It takes courage to create clarity and conviction. It takes courage to stop listening to the negative voices in our heads. It takes courage to take repeated action towards what you want most. But here’s the thing: inspired action builds confidence and the more action you take, the more confidence you will have.
We get to choose whether we spread our wings and fly.
In my recent webinar, Step into Your Most Powerful Self, we had interactive conversations about letting go of what no longer serves us. We talked about how the “shoulds in life” rear their ugly head, how to live by your own rules, how to manage self-doubt, how to create a larger vision for your work in the world, and sticking with your intention, no matter what.
If you’re ready to step into
a bigger picture of success, let’s talk.
Your superabundant,
freedom-filled life awaits.
