by Amy Matthews | Mar 25, 2020 | In-Power, Inspiration |
We’ve been trying to get our head around what’s happened over the last week or so. We are going through a process and at different stages of settling into this new reality.
We are grieving. Like any loss, the process looks like this:
Denial – Early on, this virus isn’t real and won’t affect us
Anger – I have to stay home and can’t do what I want?
Bargaining – After two or three weeks, everything will be ok, right?
Sadness – I have no idea how this will end
Acceptance – This is happening, I need to come up with a plan
Acceptance allows us to gain our power back.
Some of us still have to catch up, aren’t ready to accept this new normal. That’s ok. Hurrying the process doesn’t work so give yourself permission to take a pause for as long as you need.
For others of us, we’re ready to figure out a plan on how to proceed.
To develop an action plan, decide what your intention is. Decide what your goals are. Decide what you are truly committed to. Perhaps it’s:
To expand your capacity to lead
To revision and reshape your life
To start your business
To get in the best shape of your life
To get your business online
To work on your significant relationship
To prioritize self-care
To dust off your resume and LI profile
To implement that business idea that you put on the back burner
To pivot your career or business entirely
What are your priorities – now?
If you feel you’re ready to get into action and need help, I would love to hear from you. I will send you an Action Plan worksheet that will guide you through the process.
Let’s take this opportunity to S T R E T C H. There is no better time than now.
by Amy Matthews | Mar 10, 2020 | In-Power, Mindset |
We’re living in unprecedented times. We are on lockdown in the San Francisco Bay Area and are stunned how quickly this has come upon us.
When the rug gets pulled out from under us when we don’t know and feel like we have zero control, it’s natural to feel our security is at stake, it’s natural to feel vulnerable. It’s natural to feel anxious. Let’s not forget, we’re human.
Times like these call for radical discipline. Discipline of our beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions. A few thoughts:
Reign in your fear, don’t let it run rampant. Pause and acknowledge it. Try not to share your anxiety with everyone. Fear is contagious so do your best to not spread it.
Manage the hoarding mentality. The media isn’t helping, I know! We will not go hungry. You are the only one who can determine how much is enough.
Think positive thoughts. Focus on all you’re grateful for. Get inspired about what you want to create next. Or your plan to pivot. Focus and inspiration are contagious too.
Get into nature and into your body. Walk, hike, online yoga, meditate. Do what makes you feel connected. Soak up the sunshine. Breathe and breathe some more.
Don’t forget humor and levity. Laughter is contagious too. I watched Stephen Colbert at 7am. Made my day!
What we focus on expands. Hunker down and choose wisely.
“Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening. It stops you from enjoying the good.” – Author Unknown
If our current reality is getting the best of you, I can help. Book a free call with me here.
Stay healthy and spread light. #Faith.
by Amy Matthews | Mar 3, 2020 | Blog, Mindset |
Agendas, we all have them.
We were taught to create agendas, especially in our professional lives. I was at least. Agendas everywhere. Agendas for meetings, with clients, for certain outcomes. We learned that if we have a linear agenda, we would get the outcome we want. Agendas are synonymous with success.
Agendas may work in our careers but they don’t work in relationships.
When you have an agenda for a relationship, whether it’s with a friend, family member or romantic partner, you are pushing your wants, needs or fears onto the other person. Agendas are a way of trying to control the outcome. We’ve all been on the receiving end of someone who has an agenda. We can feel it. It feels like an expectation. It feels like a burden. It feels yucky.
So how to move out of the agenda trap? Ask yourself:
Am I caught up in what should happen or how it’s supposed to go? Shoulds are about expectations and will lead to disappointment, every time.
Is my primary focus to be reassured and get my needs met? Imagine you will get what you want. Take a deep breath and get present to what’s happening right now.
Am I focused on a specific outcome? Being laser focused on a goal robs us of fully engaging with the other person.
Clinging to an agenda keeps us in our heads, not in our hearts. Who wants that?
Ditch the agenda. Adios, buh-bye.
Open up to limitless possibilities, with every person, in every situation.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 25, 2020 | Business, In-Power |
I talk to people transitioning in their careers almost on a daily basis, both clients and potential clients alike. Time to rant and lend perspective on this week’s conversations.
Two potential clients, a man, and a woman, successful tech leaders in career transition. They both reached out for help, looking for clarity and direction as they initiate their new job search. It makes perfect sense to me as their needs are aligned with many of my clients. When we embark on something new, it’s fitting to want a clear path forward, especially for those of us who are high achievers. We want to do it right, the first time.
After listening to their unique backgrounds and situations, I responded in a similar fashion.
The opportunity in front of you is to:
Define who you are today – not 5 years ago when you accepted your last position
Define your superpowers so you leverage them in your next position
Create your authentic brand – from the inside out and reflect it in all your communication
Let go of old identities, personas and limiting beliefs that are based in the past
Define an intention and parameters you want in your next position
Create a strategy and action plan to get the position that’s the perfect fit
They responded in a similar fashion too.
Thanks Amy. You get me and your process resonates. I want to work with you. Before I commit, I need to talk it over with my spouse/partner. See what they think.
I truly understand that answer.
We often need to talk over decisions with a partner, especially when it involves a financial commitment. Plus, it’s always a good idea to think about a decision before we make it – whether that decision is working with a career and business coach, or another decision that requires us to be All In.
Before you initiate a conversation with someone you’re in partnership with, ask yourself these 3 questions:
How much do I want this?
Am I looking for permission or buy-in?
What is the best approach to gain buy-in and support?
Be intentional with your communication and create the outcomes you want.
Give yourself permission to be your own authority.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 18, 2020 | Business, Mindset |
When a topic comes up three times in a week, I usually write about it. I am compelled to write today about getting real and seeing the truth in every situation. Yep. It’s time to take off the rose-colored glasses.
Here are a few examples of what I am talking about:
A prospective client says he/she doesn’t want to work with your company but you are convinced you can change his/her mind
The person you are romantically involved with tells you he/she wants to ‘just be friends’ and you say, he/she will come around
Your partner says he/she doesn’t want to go to therapy to work on your relationship but you think you can persuade him/her to go
Your boss tells you that you’re not working out in your position and you work harder to prove yourself
It’s not easy to face the truth, especially when we don’t like it. Many of us want to see what we want to see. We’d rather run away, cajole, manipulate, sweet talk our way out of it, blame another or brainwash ourselves into thinking we can will what we want to happen to fruition. Rather than accepting what the other person is telling us, we’d rather deny it.
Next time you anticipate having a difficult conversation with someone who has a very different perspective, use these 5 steps to ensure a connected and constructive conversation:
1. Take what the other person tells you at face value. Believe what they say. Period.
2. Don’t judge, react or make the other person wrong. Leave your emotions out of it.
3. Ask Why. Be curious and open to the other person’s point of view.
4. Don’t take what they say personally. Seriously, it’s never about you.
5. Accept their truth. There is no black and white in any situation.
Truth is power because that’s when things can change. Once you know the truth, you can pivot. You can create options. You can create possibilities. You can create choices you didn’t know you had! And, you get to decide what truly empowers you and choose the best option for you.
The truth will set you free.
