by Amy Matthews | Dec 17, 2019 | In-Power, Mindset |
Someone asked me the other day if I’ve written about boundaries. My first reaction was of course! I looked at all my blogs and realized I’ve referenced boundaries but not written about them directly. Here’s my attempt to do just that.
We’ve all heard about the importance of healthy boundaries but many of us struggle to create them. Here are some indicators when we don’t have them:
We say yes to people or situations that don’t interest us.
We accommodate and over function for others.
We give unsolicited advice.
The underlying reason? We want to please. We want others to like us. We want others to be happy. We get emotionally involved and care too much.
Caring deeply may sound all well and good. We were brought up to care more about others well being above our own. It’s what we do. The truth is, when we overextend ourselves, it leads to exhaustion, stress and even burnout. Eventually, not having boundaries will get the best of us.
If this resonates, ask yourself these questions:
Am I doing what I want or am I doing it out of obligation?
How do I feel when I am with this person?
Why do I feel I need to offer advice?
You can be kind. You can be helpful. You can prioritize what you want. To realize your highest potential of success, ditch the people-pleasing and stay in your own lane. Create boundaries that serve you and the people in your life.
by Amy Matthews | Dec 11, 2019 | Inspiration |
A friend of mine sent me this article, The Joy of Being a Woman in Her 70s. I love it, it’s a must read for each and every one of us.
The author, a psychologist, makes this point: by the time a woman is in your 70’s, she’s resilient, comfortable in her own skin, ok with saying no, more loving to herself, seeks joy and always knows she has a choice. She’s an Unruled Woman.
Here’s the thing:
We don’t have to wait until we’re 70 to stop living by the “shoulds” of life. We don’t have to wait until we’re 70 to be comfortable with who we are. We all yearn to not worry what others think of us, to not feel less than, to not seek perfection and to not have expectations that rob us of our happiness. We all yearn to be kinder, more accepting of ourselves.
We don’t have to wait. No matter whether you’re in 30’s, 40’s, 50’s or 60’s, start Now.
Give yourself permission and encourage all the women in your life to be their most powerful selves. Be aware of behavior that gets in the way of not feeling good and start making authentic choices that support what you really want.
If you’re ready to choose Yourself, sign up for your free 45 minute coaching session here.
by Amy Matthews | Dec 10, 2019 | Business, In-Power |
In conversations with clients this week, all who are solo entrepreneurs grappling with growing their businesses, I found myself saying the same thing.
“You get what you think you are worth.” “You get what you think you deserve.” “You get what you are committed to.”
The good news is, as an entrepreneur, you get to define yourself and your business. Whether you’re pricing art, product offerings or a consulting project, you get to decide your value and what you are worth. That can be daunting because we are trained to define our businesses by industry benchmarks or what competitors are doing. But to differentiate yourself and stand out from the crowd, define yourself on your terms.
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you are worth. Claim it and own it. Don’t be afraid to lose business. Exude confidence and the right clients will be attracted to you and respond accordingly. “Like attracts like.”
If you believe you are worth it, then you are. It’s that simple.
If you are ready to expand your vision for your business and your capacity for success, book a call with me here.
Life is too short to not go big.
by Amy Matthews | Dec 3, 2019 | Blog, Mindset |
I’ve had several conversations this week with men and women about expectations. In every one of my conversations, I heard the same thing. “It’s so hard not to have them.”
Every time we have an expectation of a person, a situation, whether it’s in business or in our personal life – when we don’t get what we want – disappointment can rear its ugly head. The source of the problem is not the expectation itself. It’s that we get a picture in our minds and fantasize and future trip about the ideal outcome and get attached to it. It’s the attachment to what we want that makes us struggle, not the expectation itself.
There is a bright side to disappointment. It shows us what we want, it shows us what we crave. It shows us we have passion for something. It shows us we care – deeply. It shows us we are on the right path towards getting what we want.
If your business deal goes belly up, there will be another one
If you don’t get the promotion, you will in the future
If your relationship has a rough patch, it will sort out
If the investor doesn’t resonate with your pitch, another one will
If the person you’re seeing doesn’t pan out, another one is around the corner
Expect success in every aspect of your life. Expect to fulfill your goals. Expect to have the relationship you want. Expect to create an extraordinary life. The caveat, of course, is: work hard to make whatever you want happen, happen and stay the course.
Let go of the life you created in your mind. Open up to the life that’s right in front of you.
by Amy Matthews | Nov 27, 2019 | Inspiration, Mindset |
There’s a lot of hype about practicing gratitude. Truth be told, I buy into it, hook, line and sinker because it works for me.
But sometimes when life brings lemons – it’s super hard to feel grateful. Instead of putting a happy face on, crawling under the covers seems like a better alternative.
There’s also the pressure to feel grateful because we live in a culture where it’s “in”. If we aren’t feeling it, we feel like a big, fat phony. We wonder what’s wrong with us. Some part of us wants to be grateful but another wants to stick its heels in. We then ask: how can I not feel grateful with so many hungry and homeless people in the world??
Major guilt trip. Massive self-judgment. Monumental self-loathing.
You don’t have to push yourself to feel something you don’t feel. You only have to acknowledge how you do feel. Take a deep breath and allow your feelings to be in the room – with you. Maybe you’re feeling disappointment or a whole lot of fear. Or something else altogether. Ditch the judgment and accept how you feel right now.
Sometimes to get gratitude, you gotta give yourself permission to feel exactly how you feel. Then things will shift – I promise.
Wishing you grace and ease this Thanksgiving holiday.
