by Amy Matthews | Dec 3, 2019 | Blog, Mindset |
I’ve had several conversations this week with men and women about expectations. In every one of my conversations, I heard the same thing. “It’s so hard not to have them.”
Every time we have an expectation of a person, a situation, whether it’s in business or in our personal life – when we don’t get what we want – disappointment can rear its ugly head. The source of the problem is not the expectation itself. It’s that we get a picture in our minds and fantasize and future trip about the ideal outcome and get attached to it. It’s the attachment to what we want that makes us struggle, not the expectation itself.
There is a bright side to disappointment. It shows us what we want, it shows us what we crave. It shows us we have passion for something. It shows us we care – deeply. It shows us we are on the right path towards getting what we want.
If your business deal goes belly up, there will be another one
If you don’t get the promotion, you will in the future
If your relationship has a rough patch, it will sort out
If the investor doesn’t resonate with your pitch, another one will
If the person you’re seeing doesn’t pan out, another one is around the corner
Expect success in every aspect of your life. Expect to fulfill your goals. Expect to have the relationship you want. Expect to create an extraordinary life. The caveat, of course, is: work hard to make whatever you want happen, happen and stay the course.
Let go of the life you created in your mind. Open up to the life that’s right in front of you.
by Amy Matthews | Nov 27, 2019 | Inspiration, Mindset |
There’s a lot of hype about practicing gratitude. Truth be told, I buy into it, hook, line and sinker because it works for me.
But sometimes when life brings lemons – it’s super hard to feel grateful. Instead of putting a happy face on, crawling under the covers seems like a better alternative.
There’s also the pressure to feel grateful because we live in a culture where it’s “in”. If we aren’t feeling it, we feel like a big, fat phony. We wonder what’s wrong with us. Some part of us wants to be grateful but another wants to stick its heels in. We then ask: how can I not feel grateful with so many hungry and homeless people in the world??
Major guilt trip. Massive self-judgment. Monumental self-loathing.
You don’t have to push yourself to feel something you don’t feel. You only have to acknowledge how you do feel. Take a deep breath and allow your feelings to be in the room – with you. Maybe you’re feeling disappointment or a whole lot of fear. Or something else altogether. Ditch the judgment and accept how you feel right now.
Sometimes to get gratitude, you gotta give yourself permission to feel exactly how you feel. Then things will shift – I promise.
Wishing you grace and ease this Thanksgiving holiday.
by Amy Matthews | Nov 20, 2019 | In-Power, Inspiration |
I recently went for a walk with a dear friend of mine. She said this to me:
“One of your best qualities is that you are loyal. Then she said, it’s also a hindrance.”
Her comment got me thinking. When does being loyal become too loyal?
We were raised to be loyal and loyalty comes in many forms. We can be committed to an idea, a belief, a person, a brand, a community, a company, a boss or a family tradition. Loyalty becomes a fault when it hurts us or doesn’t have the “juice” it once did or no longer is aligned with who we are now. Being too loyal can keep us hanging on to a person, an idea or a notion that is in past time.
It’s often loyalty that prevents us from change and opening up to something new.
I am not advocating throwing out the baby with the bathwater. What I am suggesting is to ponder these questions:
What are you committed to that doesn’t light you up?
What beliefs do you have that are out of date?
What relationships don’t make you feel good?
Who or what is getting in the way of your progress?
Give yourself permission to let go of what no longer serves you. Be open and receptive to bringing more of what resonates into your life.
Give Yourself Permission Quote Box
by Amy Matthews | Oct 29, 2019 | In-Power, Inspiration |
I live in Northern California where the fires are raging in both parts of the state. Over 200,000 people have been evacuated and many homes and structures lost. I am one of the lucky ones along with my family and friends. We are without power so we don’t have the daily conveniences that we are accustomed to. I count my lucky stars, it could be so much worse.
I had a few conversations yesterday about “Not Knowing”.
One was with a potential client who is in career transition and looking for a new job. She is breaking into a new industry and she said it’s hard not to worry or ruminate. Then she said, the worst part is not knowing.
Next, I was at a charging station, recharging my phone and computer. One of the beauties of a power outage is you meet all kinds of people you wouldn’t normally meet.
So I decided to ask the question: what’s the worst thing about the power outage?
The first person said, “It’s not knowing”.
Not knowing when power will be restored
Not knowing when you’ll be able to get online
Not knowing when you’ll get your next hot shower
The fear in the air was overwhelming.
When things aren’t as they usually are, when conveniences are taken away or you’re moving out of your comfort zone to do something new – it’s natural for fear, anxiety, worry, or frustration to creep in. Instead of absorbing yourself in worry, think about what you are learning or gaining from the situation. I know, it’s easier said than done. But try.
No matter if you’re breaking into a new industry, creating a business or dealing with a state of emergency, we can either look our fear in the face or let if run us. We have a choice in the matter. We get to decide.
What are you choosing today?
If fear is getting in your way, book a 45 min Clarity call with me here.
by Amy Matthews | Oct 22, 2019 | Business, In-Power, Inspiration, Mindset |
I have always sought out a coach or consultant when I wanted to get better, learn something or get somewhere. Personal trainers, therapists, healers, career coach, speaking coach, branding strategist, business gurus, marketing consultants – you name it. All of these experts are a type of coach and they have all helped me get to where I am today.
So many of us don’t ask for help. We poo poo the idea, or the cost, or the time. We run away from our feelings, we stay stuck in our analytical minds. We waste time and don’t go anywhere. I think it’s because for some of us, the idea of being and having whatever we want is – scary.
The truth is, the happiest and most successful people work with someone (or someones) to help them cut through the muck, get out of their own way and move to the next level.
The truth is, you can’t depend on your husband, wife, partner, friend to be your coach.
When you want to get into shape, you hire a personal trainer. When you want to understand your childhood and family background, you hire a therapist. When you want to resolve conflict in your relationship, you hire a couples therapist.
And:
When you need a strategy and plan for your life, you hire me
When you need to map out your business idea, you hire me
When you want to grow your business, you hire me
When you want to figure out what you want to do when you grow up, you hire me
When you want to fast track your career, you hire me
When you want to make more money, you hire me
When you want to become a better leader, you hire me
When you want to improve your communication skills, you hire me
When you want to embrace all that you are and be a total badass, you hire me
WE all need help. It starts with asking for it.
What would you like more of? Book your 45 min Clarity call with me here.
