by Amy Matthews | May 14, 2019 | Inspiration |
I used to feel I was too much. Others told me so and I listened. Through the years, I’ve been called:
Too intense
Too sensitive
Too direct
Too trusting
Too loyal
Too assertive
Too independent
Too honest
Too caring
Too ambitious
That’s a lot of TOOS! I didn’t start out ambitious, it was my passion that fueled me. I was working in Silicon Valley, on the forefront of technology that was transforming the world. I was a leader championing a cause, a new industry that I truly believed in. I was making a difference.
We all know how it feels when we’re told we’re too much. The message we hear is we’re inadequate. It makes us feel small, disconnected, icky. Our response is to tone ourselves down so we fit in.
The irony is that feeling “too much” stems from feeling “not enough”.
We need to listen deeply to our intuition and recognize our own unique gifts and talents.
We need to tear down our beliefs and thoughts that don’t empower us, that make us feelless than or too much. We need to fall in love with our perfectly imperfect selves and become our own authority.
As goldilocks says, “it’s not too hot, not too cold, it’s just right”.
You’re not too hot, not too cold. You are just right.
You’ll always be just the right amount for people you resonate with. Who inspire you, who you respect and respect you, who move you. You’ll always be just the right amount for people who want to experience life as fully as you.
Find your peeps. Own your brilliance. Shine on.
by Amy Matthews | May 7, 2019 | Mindset |
The topic of feeling guilty came up in conversation with a client last week. She’s a high performing executive, super successful and an amazing mother, daughter, spouse and friend.
We’ve all felt guilty at some point in our lives. I used to say if you were Catholic, Jewish or lived in the Midwest you were prone to guilt! I grew up in Wisconsin and Michigan so I can say that hands down. The good news is in my late 20s, I started questioning why I felt guilty. For the most part, I choose not to go there anymore.
More women feel guilty than men. It’s a fact. It’s not surprising since women are socialized to get along with others and take care of the people we love. We do this so well. It’s a good thing to be concerned about others. The problem is when we feel guilty for something we did or didn’t do, or something we thought we did or didn’t do or for not doing enough. That’s when it becomes crazy making.
If you hurt someone or committed a crime, you have my full permission to feel guilty! If you didn’t, and you’re feeling guilty about not doing enough, it’s time to break the habit. Why? Because it’s not fair to you.
Feeling guilty keeps us small. It keeps us not feeling good about ourselves. It keeps us from stepping into our true power.
If you often feel guilty, ask yourself these 3 questions to #breakfree:
Is it true I did something wrong?
Is it true I’m not doing enough?
Is it true this person feels neglected?
Appreciate yourself for who you are and all that you do. You deserve to feel good. Every single day. You are AMAZING.
Say buh-bye to guilt. Say hello to feeling super powerful and free.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 16, 2019 | Inspiration |
We all have mixed feelings at times. I certainly do, seriously – who doesn’t! You know what I mean, when it’s hard to choose or decide because your head tells you one thing and your heart says another.
Here are a few ways it plays out:
“I’d love to pursue my passion but I CAN’T. I need the security my job gives me, even though It sucks me dry.”
“I’m super attracted to this person and we have so much fun together. BUT I have a different picture, he/she isn’t “who I thought I’d be with”.
“I don’t want to go to the party – it will be boring. Yet I’m OBLIGATED because I said I would go. I need to do the “right” thing that’s who I am.”
Our analytical minds guide us in many ways but often its advice is geared to the “shoulds” in life – how it “should” look, how you “should” be, what you “should” do or look like. Shoulds drain our energy and are joy killers. They keep us stuck, in question mode, feeling ambivalent. They keep us from taking action towards what we want most.
To get your head and heart aligned, ask yourself these questions.
What thoughts, beliefs and feelings are in the way of doing what I really want?
What does my heart say?
Will I regret NOT doing this?
What’s the worst thing that can happen if I go for it?
Write down your answers. Confusion will naturally diffuse once you start writing.
Trust clarity will come. A NO can turn into a YES at any time.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 9, 2019 | Mindset |
Seeking balance is like the quest for the holy grail.
We search for it. As we pursue, it’s always out of reach. It’s just around the corner, out of our grasp. Perhaps that’s why “the idea” of it is so appealing. We try to manage and control it because we want our day to day life to look a certain way. It’s hard to win at this game because balance is a trap.
If we had balance, ALL OF THE TIME, life would be BORING.
Think of a teeter totter, if you stayed in the middle, wouldn’t it be dull? The fun is going up and down – with someone else on the other side. The same is true for a swing, if you were always up, you’d want to go the other way. And vise versa.
I don’t think it’s balance we want. I think what we really want is clarity and to feel grounded and at ease. So no matter what arises in life, ups or downs, we flow with it rather than fight or resist it.
The truth is, balance is an inside job. It’s trusting yourself, trusting that YOU GOT THIS and THE UNIVERSE HAS YOUR BACK. It’s being present to your thoughts because your thoughts create your feelings. To feel inspired, motivated, optimistic and have abundant energy, feed your mind with positive, uplifting thoughts.
CLARITY gives you CONFIDENCE
CONFIDENCE gives you CONVICTION
CONVICTION leads to CREATING the life you want
What nutritious thoughts are you CHOOSING today? Share in the comments below!
by Amy Matthews | Apr 2, 2019 | Business |
Several of my clients, 3 to be exact, all super competent, rising stars, are looking for a career change. Their current position is coming to an end so they’re looking for another position – inside and outside their current company.
It’s hard to have one foot planted in the old and one in the new. No matter what it is you want to create in your life – new job, relationship, home – transition isn’t easy. There are lots of moving targets. It takes energy and effort. It can be stressful and nerve wracking! The word transition means: changing from one state to another, morphing into something new.
Here are a 5 tips to make any transition easier:
1) Be Strategic and Intentional. Think Quality over Quantity
2) Choose what Resonates, what Lights You Up. If it’s not a hell YES, it’s a NO
3) Have an Abundance Mindset, Be Open to what Unfolds
4) Hold Out for What You Really Want
5) Be Patient, it’s a Virtue. Have Radical Trust.
Just like the caterpillar who turns into the butterfly, you’ll struggle at times. You may want to throw in the towel. But if you’re committed and willing to see it through, you will morph. You will create something new – that delights you. #Faith.
If you’re currently going through a transition in your life and feeling overwhelmed, I can help.
Sign up for a free 45 minute coaching session here.
