by Amy Matthews | May 10, 2018 | Business, In-Power |
I know what it’s like to lose. A lot.
Here’s my story and why I started Woman UnRuled.
In my first career, I worked for technology companies in sales and sales leadership positions. By the time I was 30, I had a ton of responsibility and managed a national sales team. We worked hard and had fun. At the time, I was making good money, $300K a year plus stock options. Fast forward a few years, as I continued to take on more responsibility, I finally got the VP title. Each year I was with the company, I was granted more options.
The company was acquired by a Fortune 100 and the stock continued to rise. And split. And then it would rise again. Two years after the acquisition, those of us in leadership roles were asked to integrate our teams within the larger company. We had to decide if we wanted to stay with the company and find a new position, or leave with a package. I rose my hand for the package and planned to take a year off before deciding what to do next.
I didn’t sell my stock all at once because I would have had a greater tax consequence. This is what happened next. The stock started to go down.. and down. Even though I was losing equity, I still didn’t sell it, thinking it would go back up. 9 months later, the stock that was once worth $3.2M was worth nothing at all. I felt I had the rug pulled out from underneath me.
Here’s the thing: when I had the money, I thought I didn’t have enough. I lived in my head, not in my heart. As I look back, I understand that I let fear stop me. By losing so much, in an odd way, it gave me a greater sense of freedom. Realizing that I was still okay after that epic loss was a profound learning which has made a huge impact on how I live today. Ultimately, it was empowering.
This sense of empowerment is why I started Woman UnRuled. I believe in living by your own rules and living a life you truly love with exponential freedom and joy – everyday. Woman UnRuled is about living with no regrets and no fear and taking action towards what you truly want. I believe you can be, do or have anything you want. It’s up to you.
If you’re a business woman who’s serious about the next level, I want to talk. Believe me when I say, I’ve been in your shoes. Maybe you’re questioning things in your career or life right now and you feel the weight of wanting more. I want to talk to you.
Would you like to feel more empowered, energized and inspired? There’s no better time than now to start living the big, juicy, joyful, abundant life you’ve always imagined.
by Amy Matthews | May 9, 2018 | In-Power, Mindset |
When I was 5 years old, I shared a bedroom with my older sister. One day after a bath, I came into the bedroom dancing, wet body and all. I was using my towel as a prop. I was giggling and squealing with delight because I was having so much fun.
My sister said to me “you’re going to be a stripper when you grow up”. Whoa. Talk about raining on my parade. I was too young to know what a stripper was, but old enough to know from her sharp tone that it wasn’t a good thing. The message I got in that moment, loud and clear, was that being joyful and moving my body freely wasn’t what “good girls” do.
My sister and I are very close and though I have never asked her, I bet she wouldn’t remember what she said to me that day. But I do. Her comment shut me down. For a long time and even into adulthood, I shied away from expressing myself through my body. I felt shame about my body.
The good news is, I now love to move my body everyday. Daily exercise is my go-to: hiking, yoga, bootcamp, walking, a sweaty spin class – you name it. And I love, love, love to dance.
Has anyone ever said something to you that made you feel shameful that stuck with you?
I’ve moved through the feeling of shame many times. If I can do it, I know you can too.
I say:
Don’t let anyone throw water on your fire.
Don’t let what others say or think stop you from expressing who you really are.
Never minimize yourself, it’s okay to be shiny!
Ready to free yourself from what’s holding you back?
by Amy Matthews | May 8, 2018 | Mindset |
If You Knew You Were Going to Meet the Person of Your Dreams, How Would You Prepare?
Someone asked me this question recently. It’s one of the most provocative questions I’ve been asked in a very long time. What I love most about the question is this: there is no doubt that IT WILL HAPPEN. It’s a fact, not IF but WHEN. As single women, we can waste a lot of time questioning if we’ll ever meet “the one ”. So, just know without a doubt that you will. Know absolutely that you will, direct your energy into preparing for it, envision and create what it is that you really want.
You may not relate to this question as you may be happily married or in a thriving romantic partnership. But guess what? “Person of your Dreams” is just a concept, a stand-in for “The thing you most want but worry you won’t get”. In fact, you can change up the question to apply to any area of your life:
If You Knew You Were Going to Get the Job of your Dreams, Doing What You Loved,
How Would You Prepare?
If You Knew You Were Going to Live the Life You REALLY Want, How Would You Prepare?
If You Knew You Would Be Blissfully Happy, How Would You Prepare?
Fortune Favors the Prepared Mind. Whatever it is that you want, know that It Will Happen.
Be Unwavering In Your Belief.
Prepare.
Take Action.
Stay the Course.
by Amy Matthews | May 7, 2018 | Business |
Are you doing what you really want to do in your life? This may be a daunting question. So many women I talk with are either unclear about what they want to be doing in their lives, or they know what it is but are afraid to actually do it. I can relate. Before I created Woman UnRuled, I knew for a long time I wanted to be a business and life-freedom coach. It took some time for things in my life to line up so I could pursue it. And honestly, I needed the confidence to make it happen.
If you are a woman who isn’t clear on what you’d like to do, here are a few ways to invite in more clarity. First, ask yourself a few questions:
* What Am I Passionate About?
* What Lights Me Up?
* What Have I Always Wanted to Do?
Once you have a long list, pick 2 or 3 which really jump out to you, try them on and test them out. Go on informational interviews, follow someone around for a day. Pretend you’re doing a research project. You’ll know whether the experience is something you want to take further. Is it a fuck yeah or just a yeah?
If something doesn’t fully light you up, that’s okay because something else will.
If it’s aFuck yeah, choose it and declare that you want it. Yep, declare it out loud. There is so much strength in our words and our voices.
Now that you know what you want to do, it’s time to get into action to make it a reality.
Develop a strategy and a plan. Work It. And most importantly, do not quit. See it through.
by Amy Matthews | May 5, 2018 | In-Power |
I joined an adult novice rowing team last year. Here’s the thing:I had never rowed before. Not even once. I just got it into my head that it was something I wanted to do. Getting a great workout on the water and learning a new team sport appealed to me. It was rigorous. Practice was at 5:40am two weekdays and on Saturdays. I had to wake up at 4:30am to get to practice on time.
Not exactly my cup of tea.
There was a woman on the team, I’d say she was 65 years old. She had recently lost 40 pounds and joined the team to stay in shape. She was enthusiastic, dedicated and always the first one at practice. Our coach was 23 years old, just out of college. His rowing skills were strong but he had no interpersonal skills. Nada.Nil. Zippo. Each morning, he berated this woman in front of the entire team.He told her that not only would she never be a good rower, but that basically she was incompetent. And she still continued to come to practice. It was painful to hear and watch the verbal abuse she received from this inexperienced coach. It was almost like he wanted to break her down and make her quit. But she kept showing up. Bottom line, it was obsessive criticism and abusive behavior no one should ever put up with. And then one day, she sent her team members an email to say she decided to quit.
Fast forward, one year later. I was at to the farmers market a couple Saturdays ago. Out of the corner of my eye, a woman exclaimed, “Hi, Amy!”. I didn’t recognize her until she said her name. It finally dawned on me who she was, but she was twice the size of the woman on my rowing team! She proceeded to tell me how belittling and excruciatingly painful her experience was with the coach. How she gained back all her weight and then some. How bad she felt about herself. And how she missed being on the water in the early mornings. Whoa..it made my heart break.
Here is what you need to know:
* Never, I mean never, put up with abusive behavior, verbal or otherwise
* Never let anyone tell you you are “less than“
* Don’t let anyone stamp out your passion and enthusiasm
If you find yourself in a situation where someone is putting you down, make it your choice to leave. Do Not Pass Go. Over and Done With. Vamoose.
YOU can Break Free in your life, but it’s going to take you saying NO MORE to other people who try to keep you from your new life.
Do you want to feel more self love, confidence and feel empowered?
