by Amy Matthews | May 4, 2018 | In-Power |
Here’s a story I want to share about a client of mine. She’s 37 years old, articulate, and highly intuitive. She has a stable career as a nurse, owns a home and is dedicated to raising her two children. She was married for 20 years and she divorced less than two years ago. Her ex is a good father, and dedicated to her and their two girls. They just grew apart.
For the past year and a half, she’s been dating a younger man from work. She loves him very much and he loves her too. They have an amazing bond and their chemistry is off the charts.
One BIG Problem:
She found out from his mother that he was also seeing someone else for the past 9 months. She confronted him and he finally admitted it. She broke it off and he continued to pursue her. Vehemently. She decided to allow him back into her life even though her intuition says he’s still with the other person. She’s heartbroken. She feels rejected and preoccupied with the idea that he is choosing the other woman over her.
I asked her to list the things she knew about this man from her time being with him. How he showed up, and what his actions revealed about him. Just the facts. Here’s what she came up with:
* Emotionally immature
* Not faithful
* Not honest
* Not trustworthy
* Not ready for commitment
I then asked her a simple question.
Does she want to be with a man who’s emotionally immature? Not faithful? Not honest? Not trustworthy? Not ready for commitment? Her answer was a resounding NO.
I told her that she was rejecting him, not the other way around. He’s not able to give her what she wants. It’s not about her vs. the other woman. He simply isn’t ready. Period.
Rejection can have such a hold on us that it’s sometimes hard to see straight. I know how hard it is to let go of someone you love dearly. It’s painful. It takes courage. It takes guts. But by doing so, you are ultimately saying YES to yourself.
Say YES to Yourself. Say Yes to What You Want. Do Not Waiver. Even When It’s Hard.
by Amy Matthews | May 3, 2018 | Business |
Getting clear on what you really want to do is a process. This means it takes time, effort, and patience with yourself. Once you have clarity, the next step is to develop a clear strategy and action plan to bring your idea or dream into reality.
I’ve worked with many female entrepreneurs on business strategy. Most want to fall in love with their business idea before they actually put a stake in the ground. They keep their idea close to their chest, nurture and protect it like it was a newborn child. That’s all well and good, and there is a time for that, at the beginning of the process. I’ve learned, however, that to be successful, you’ve got to be objective and not get married to any one idea.
Use the 6 D’s to test the viability of your idea:
1) Develop Your Vision for Your Company
2) Define Your Services or Products
3) Determine Your Target Market
4) Develop a Clear Value Proposition and Why It’s Better than the Competition
5) Define Your Business Model
6) Develop Your Marketing Strategy and Sales Strategy
By going through these 6 steps, you’ll get a sense if your business idea has legs.
If it does, now the hard work begins. You gotta put your heart, body and soul into it. You gotta want it bad. You gotta commit. It will take blood, sweat, tears and lots of time. You gotta work it. You gotta remain flexible. You gotta ask for help. You gotta be willing to pivot. And most importantly, you gotta stay the course, even when the terrain gets rocky.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 30, 2018 | Business, Mindset |
Too much to do, too little time to do it. Does that sound familiar? You are not alone. There is so much going on in our lives and in the world today that life seems to be moving faster and faster. Many of us are so caught up rushing from one thing to the next that we forget to stop and breathe.
We all know the feeling of overwhelm and it’s not fun. It leaves us feeling stressed out and often paralyzed to take action. Or we decide to take something off our plate – the very thing we want and need most. Here are examples:
You know yoga makes you feel good but instead of going to class, you work longer or gulp down a glass of wine. Or you postpone working with a coach who can frame a new outlook and help you develop an action plan. We’ve all been there!
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, here are 5 things I do to shift:
Take a Time Out.
When you feel overwhelmed, this is when you need to take a breather! Get into your body by taking deep breaths or meditating for 5-10 minutes. Put some soothing music on. Go for a walk. All these things will help you shift.
Write it Down.
Write down what’s in your head that’s making you feel overwhelmed. Is it a work project? Life in general? Once you start writing, your overwhelm will naturally diffuse. You’ll gain perspective on how much you really have to do.
Ask Yourself: What Am I Feeling?
Overwhelm often happens not because there’s too much to handle, but because our emotions get in the way. Our feelings and emotions are what make us stressed out.
If you can, talk it out with a friend.
Take Action.
Determine your priorities. Everything doesn’t have to happen this minute! Do the things that are urgent, save the important ones to do later and delegate or outsource the things that you don’t need to do.
Be Grateful.
I bet your life is pretty incredible. It’s amazing how differently we feel when we shift our perspective from “there is so much I HAVE to do” to “there is so much I GET to do.” Give it a shot – appreciate all that you have now.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 24, 2018 | Inspiration |
Do you constantly berate yourself or compare yourself to others? Is it difficult for you to love yourself? There’s no better day than today to begin the process of truly loving who you are.
Why? Because you are a FIERCE and AWE-INSPIRING being!
An amazing woman, inside and out, with unique skills, talents and passions. No other woman is exactly like you on the planet. Truly.
Plus, you won’t be comfortable in your own skin and trust your decisions until you love you for all that you are.
And, how can you expect anyone else to love you if you don’t genuinely love yourself?
Today and everyday, speak to yourself kindly. Say to yourself you are the bees knees, the coolest cat, a gorgeous babe, a smart, capable, delectable, wonder woman with sprinkles on top!
Be your best friend. Be the best mother to yourself you could ever imagine. I know you pour so much love out into the world: now harness it and direct it back to YOU!
Fall in Love with Yourself. Write a list of all the things that you love about You.
LOVE YOURSELF UP.
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by Amy Matthews | Apr 16, 2018 | Business |
Many women in business feel the pressure to act like men, communicate like men and even dress like men. Though more prevalent in traditionally male dominated industries – like finance and venture capital – there are women in every industry that feel this pressure. At some level, whether conscious of it or not, women believe if they want to get ahead, they need to look and act a certain way.
I am not saying the pressure isn’t real – don’t get me wrong. The problem is, by buying into it, we accommodate and wear masks. We can lose touch with who we really are because we believe our authentic self isn’t ok or enough.
Here’s something that happened last week.
I was meeting with a male friend of mine in San Francisco at the Four Seasons. There was an institutional investor conference going on at the hotel so the lobby was crowded. An attractive woman, in her early 30’s, walked past us. My very observant and astute friend said, “she looks a lot older than she is wearing that”. She was in a tweed suit – imagine Chanel like. I noticed that the suit was wearing her rather than the other way around. She looked like a mannequin – awkward and lifeless. Instantly, I said:
She’s wearing what she thinks she’s supposed to wear. Not what she wants to wear.
Why?
To Not Stand Out.
To Not Rock the Boat.
For Fear She Won’t be Taken Seriously.
To Fit In with the Ol’ Boys Club.
I don’t know if you can relate but I can. I remember the navy blue, double breasted, wool suit I wore in my 20’s! At the time, with my short bob, I thought I had it going on. Through experience and time, I’ve learned – in business and in life:
Show Up Authentically.
Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin.
Communicate Confidently and Clearly.
Wear What Makes You Feel Good and Right for the Situation.
Unless we start changing our behavior, nothing will change. We can’t expect men to change, old structures to change or the old boy network to change. Women need to courageously lead the change. If we want things to be different, whether at work or at home, we’ve gotta show up authentically, in our power, in our brilliance and grace. And ask for what we want and need. Once we fully step up and show up to ourselves, men will take our lead.
There’s no better version of yourself than the real YOU. Be Yourself – ALWAYS.
Realize the power you have – in all aspects of your life.
Btw, the word Courageous comes from the French word Coeur..which means Heart.
