11 Rules To Break To Set Yourself Free

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It’s Time to Up Level.

It’s Time to Up Level.

Since the start of the year, I’ve been asking clients what their word is for 2024. I woke up in the morning a few weeks ago to my word, Up-Level.

No matter what your word is, I think every new year starts with:

Clearing out what is no longer necessary, removing anything complicated, zaps your energy, or no longer floats your boat. Getting super clear on what you want to create and aligning your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions to make what you want happen, happen. Quality over quantity in how you show up, what you focus on, what you say, and what you choose to do. 

I’ve been clearing out with a vengeance. Drawers, closets, dressers, bins, cabinets, files, books, shredded papers, organized my kitchen, went to Goodwill, car trunk, went to Goodwill again, shredded some more, dumped all those sample products I get and never use, ice packs in the freezer I’ve been collecting…you know what I mean.

Clearing out always makes room for the new.

I then focus on creating an intentional action plan for the year ahead. (One that puts a huge smile on my face.) I like to start by looking at the eight intertwined areas of life. Then ask questions:

In what area(s) do I want change?

What’s my vision and intention?

What are my priorities and goals?

Where do I need help?

Creating an aligned plan helps to make changes in your life that will accelerate growth, keep you accountable and help you reach your goals the fastest. To make it super easy to create a plan for 2023, download a copy of Your Aligned Impact Plan, right here.

As an old boss of mine used to say:

“You can change a plan but you can’t change a “no plan”.

What breakthrough are you seeking?

The Procrastination + Perfectionism Loop

The Procrastination + Perfectionism Loop

I recently had a conversation with a client and we talked about how much work he had on his plate, how he was falling behind and the anxiety he was feeling. I asked him a few questions:

Do you consider yourself a procrastinator?

Are you a perfectionist?

Have you always been this way?

I got a resounding YES from all three questions.

I said: “Procrastination always leads to feeling shitty.” He smiled and nodded his head.

80% of high achievers suffer from procrastination due to their high standards and expectations of themselves.

And, people who tend to procrastinate are more likely to be perfectionists. Perfection and procrastination go hand in hand. The truth is, it’s perfectionism that inhibits productivity.

Perfectionists believe they are loved for what they do, how they look, or for Doing It Right. I’m a recovered perfectionist but it still rears its ugly head, usually when I try really hard and don’t get the results I want.

The Perfectionism/Procrastination Loop is like being on a hamster wheel. It begins with having unrealistic standards, then fear of failure sets in, then avoidance comes next to stir up guilt and stress, which leads to thinking and feeling shitty about yourself.

if i waited for perfection, i would never right a word. Margaret atwood

Here are my 5 tips to break the perfectionism cycle:

1. Ask yourself, why do I believe I need to be perfect?
Most likely, it was how you learned to get love as a small child. Once you ask yourself, ask the question again, I bet you’ll get a different answer. You’ll recognize that you are loved for who you are – not for what you accomplish.

2. Stop second-guessing.
Doubting yourself and your actions is usually about what happened in the past. “Should I have handled the situation differently?” Start trusting yourself and the decisions you make. If you focus on what’s happening now, you can make a positive impact.

3. Release the judgment.
It only leads to a negative view of everything – yourself, situations and all the people who truly matter to you. Judgment dilutes your vitality. Instead, direct your energy into what you love and what inspires you.

4. Stop being your worst critic.
“Who are you to think less of yourself than others do? Belittling yourself is so passé. It’s time to learn to be kind and gentle with yourself.

5. Let go of unrealistic expectations of yourself and others.
Expectations only create disappointment, especially if they aren’t met. Be open to how things unfold. The outcome may be better than you imagined.

Having high standards and working hard to achieve goals is how you get ahead in life. Just don’t let it affect your happiness and those around you.

If you’re ready to maximize
your leadership potential, let’s talk.

A bigger picture of success awaits.

Schedule your complimentary 30 minute
1:1 Clarity Call with me here.

Communication is the Real Work of Leaders.

Communication is the Real Work of Leaders.

Communication and the ability to influence is the #1 skill for every single one of us. Yet often, we either don’t make it a priority, forget to share details, or avoid a conversation altogether. From my experience, it’s because we are fearful of how the other party will respond.

  • Will the person get angry?
  • Or reject us?

  • Or be hurt?

If we have our druthers, most of us would prefer to steer clear of conflict and confrontation.

It’s just human nature.

We all know how it feels to encounter someone with poor verbal communication skills. We’re left feeling confused, frustrated or even worse, disempowered. You know what I mean. Instead of being lifted up, it drags us down.

A strong leader doesn’t need to be the smartest person in the room or work longer hours than others do. What is needed is to have a high degree of emotional intelligence, and bring people together around a common goal. A strong leader must use the right words to build up their team and articulate clear goals for individuals and for the organization.

In a LinkedIn survey, Emotional Intelligence ranked in the top 5 soft skills most sought after. EQ and knowing how to communicate with influence go hand in hand. Think Yin and Yang. Or Bonnie and Clyde.

Becoming a better communicator requires being intentional in both your conversations and in writing.

Here are my 6 simple and proven communication strategies for any conversation you embark on:

1. Be Prepared – Know what you want to say ahead of time

2. Be Clear – Keep it clear and concise

3. Be Confident – be strong in your point of view

4. Be Thoughtful – speak with compassion and empathy

5. Be Grounded – eliminate distractions, stay present and listen

6. Be Open – look for synergistic outcomes

Learning how to be a good communicator is crucial for your success in business and in life. It requires focus, practice, and commitment. It can be a lifelong journey so be patient and stay the course!

Remember, speaking up is a responsibility. So, use the 6 steps to be intentional and strategic in every conversation.

I’ve helped hundreds of business professionals get clear on what they want to say and how to say it, whether it be to a boss, employee, client, colleague, partner, or friend.

If you’ve been avoiding putting off a tricky conversation, sign up for a complimentary Clarity Call with me here.

And, if you missed my LinkedIn webinar, Strategic Communication: Get the Outcomes You Want, here’s the replay:

strategic communication: get the results that you want webinar
How to Stay Present when Sh*t Hits the Fan.

How to Stay Present when Sh*t Hits the Fan.

No matter your success, the accolades you receive, or how committed you are to your mindfulness practice, there will be times when something ‘out of left field’ happens that throws you off your game.

You know what I mean. One minute everything is easy-peasy. The next, you’re in freakout mode.

Here are some challenges I’ve heard about recently:

The major client doesn’t renew

The boss yells at you

The potential investor pulls out

A detail was missed and it’s a BIG one

The board preso just didn’t land

A promising employee just quit

The deal went south

When you work hard to accomplish a goal and something unexpected happens, it’s natural for your lizard brain to take over. But here’s the deal: it triggers an anxiety loop you’ve felt before, getting into your own head and making it worse. Then the self-berating and judgment kick in. Down the rabbit hole, you go.

Here are 5 steps to get your feet back on the ground when it feels like the rug has been pulled from under you:

1. Don’t panic and accept what happened.
This isn’t easy and it takes practice! Accepting the situation and not overreacting to it, it will stop the mental spin and help you be present.

2. Do your best to change your perception of what happened because that’s what makes it negative.
Is it really that bad? Once you shift to a more positive light, the experience will have less of a hold on you.

3. Breathe and breathe some more.
Don’t let negative thoughts take over. You know what they say: “Your mind is like a bad neighborhood. Don’t go there alone.”

4. Learn from the situation.
We learn from mishaps and mistakes, not our successes. The good news is, the ‘thing that happened,’ most likely will never happen again.

5. Get creative and find a solution.
Be intentional and forge ahead with a plan of action.

We all fall off balance once in a while, especially as we navigate uncertain times. Be compassionate with yourself! The sooner you shake it off, the sooner you’ll get back into your flow state.

If a stressful situation is in the way of your performance, book a Clarity Call with me via the link below.

What breakthrough are you seeking?

Let’s talk about that burning question, uncertain future, or unattained goal. Book a complimentary 30-minute Clarity Call with me.

3 Steps to Build Unshakeable Confidence

3 Steps to Build Unshakeable Confidence

Who doesn’t want to feel confident, comfortable in our skin and have the world by the tail?

Most of us are confident in some situations but not all. You’re killing it at your job. Your pickleball game is off the charts. You just landed a mega client. You are tickled pink about your love life. You got the promotion! But then something happens. Confidence can be tricky and fleeting – one moment you feel it, the next you don’t.

The truth is, real confidence isn’t situational. Confidence is knowing in your heart that you are enough. That you can do anything you put your mind to. That everything will be okay – actually is – okay.

If your confidence wavers, try these 3 steps:

Step 1 – Scrap Looking Good at All Costs

We all want to be liked and admired. But the people pleasing has got to go. Stop caring what others think of you ABOVE all else. The constant overdoing has got to go too. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not about how you look or what you do.

Step 2 – Find Your Purpose

When you have a dazzling north star, you feel connected to what really matters to you. We all have a purpose, it’s your raison d’etre or a deeper desire to serve or contribute. When you marry your authentic brand with your purpose, you are unstoppable.

Step 3 – Create A Bold Life Plan

A plan that is so expansive and inspiring that just thinking about it puts a smile on your face. You have big dreams and ambitions. Create a plan to make it a reality and work it. The more action you take. the more momentum you’ll build. The more momentum, the more motivation you’ll have.

We’re not born with confidence, we learn it. Confidence takes listening to your intuition and trusting yourself. The more you take inspired action towards what you want – regardless of the outcome – the more confident you’ll become.

It’s never too late to build your self-confidence muscle. Start building it today.

Ready to Be Super Confident and Unstoppable?

Say adios to goals that stress you out and get in touch with what truly matters. Take the first steps toward living the life you really want rather than waiting until the ‘Time Is Right”. Learn this 3 step process to create unshakeable confidence.