Communication is the key to all healthy and thriving relationships. Though we know this to be true, we often don’t make it a priority, forget to share details, or avoid a conversation altogether.
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We fear and worry about how the other party will respond.
- Will they get angry?
- Reject me?
- Be hurt?
- Think negatively of me?
- Will I open a can of worms?
- Will it take too much time?
If we had our druthers, most of us prefer to steer clear of conflict and confrontation. Why? Because it’s uncomfortable. We are social creatures and are wired to want to be liked and belong. In fact, long ago our survival depended on it. We want to be “the nice guy”, “the good girl” and get the seal of approval from everyone. We prefer to not rock the boat and stay above the fray rather than get our hands dirty.
No wonder conflict avoidance is a real thing.
The truth is, avoiding conflict begets more conflict. We’ve all encountered a boss, partner or friend who would rather sweep an issue under the rug, ignore it and pray it will go away. This style only leads to frustration, resentment and feeling disconnected. Soon enough, you’re ready to explode.
Here are my simple and proven communication strategies for dealing with conflict:
1. Be Prepared – Know what you want to say ahead of time and practice
2. Be Clear – Keep it clear and concise
3. Be Confident – be strong in your point of view
4. Be Thoughtful – be respectful, speak with empathy and compassion
5. Be Grounded – eliminate distractions, stay present and calm
6. Be Willing – Listen and hear the other person out
7. Be Open – problem solve and look for synergistic outcomes
If you’ve been putting off a conversation, hesitating to voice your opinion or provide direct feedback, take the time to write down what you intend to say. Then practice! When you’re ready, initiate the conversation.
Communication is an art form. It takes time and commitment and will pay off in spades.