11 Rules To Break To Set Yourself Free

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The Endless Quest for Work/Life Balance: How to Thrive in a Fast-Paced World

The Endless Quest for Work/Life Balance: How to Thrive in a Fast-Paced World

Let’s face it, it’s not easy to balance the stresses and demands of daily life. As the summer comes to an end, with increased responsibilities and kids returning to school, many of us will be running faster while things are coming at us from all directions. Adding to the mix, the growing uncertainty and shifts in the world around us, finding a sense of balance can be more elusive than ever. 

It’s the reason people return to Rancho la Puerta time and time again: to regain perspective, reconnect with themselves and others, revitalize inside and out, rejuvenate, and renew. I feel fortunate and very grateful to teach my class there, “Create a Purpose-Driven and Freedom-Filled Life.” 

Seeking work/life balance is like the quest for the holy grail. We yearn for it. We search for it. As we pursue it, it’s just out of our reach. Or, we think we finally found it, and poof, it magically disappears! Perhaps it’s the “idea of balance” that trips us up. The word balance conjures up a visual of life being easy, peasy, and breezy; where everything is perfectly in order and in its place. A trap if I ever heard one! The truth is, if we had balance, all of the time, life could be BORING.

My first career was in Silicon Valley and I had a very demanding job, with a ton of responsibility. Creating an explosive new market, and building a national team – it was non-stop. I flew cross country almost weekly to meet with customers, leaving at the beginning of the week and returning to San Francisco on Friday. I would spend the weekend decompressing and come Monday, I’d do it all over again. Rinse and repeat. 

At that time, the last thing I had was balance! Due to my focus on success and a crazy work schedule, I knew I had to incorporate tools to keep me sane. I struggled with finding balance as many of my high-performing coaching clients do. Here’s what I learned: Balance is an inside job.  When I feel rocky, off balance and overwhelmed, if I take a step back and prioritize self-care, I can return to equilibrium rather easily.

I think we all want to feel grounded, clear-headed, calm, a sense of ease and joy. Balance is trusting you have a good handle on all the aspects of your life and the belief that the universe has your back. So no matter what, amidst ups or downs, you flow with it rather than fight or resist what is happening.

balance is an inner job

Daily Go-Tos to Keep Focused + Increase Productivity and Ease

✅ Make Intention and Discipline Your Mantras
✅ Flip the switch from your active monkey mind by focusing on your heart
✅ Go for a walk between meetings and BREATHE
✅ Grant yourself a daily dose of gratitude
✅ Create blocks of time on your calendar to get things done
✅ Turn off notifications when you’re working on a deadline
✅ Respond to texts three times a day – rather than 100
✅ Reduce time on social media and how often you read/listen to news

10 Tips for Work/Life Balance and Success

#1 Start Your Day with a Positive Attitude.
Get out of your head and into your body: whatever that means for you. It might be a walk with your dog, meditation, yoga, a killer workout, or whatever floats your boat. Your intention is to be grounded, present, and ready to face the day.

#2 Be Authentic. Stay True to Your Values.
Authenticity Rules. Your experience, values, strengths, skills, passions, and DNA are unique. Embrace your individuality and all that you are. You’ll exude confidence and it will lead to your ultimate success.

#3 Think Good Thoughts. Say Good Things.
It’s important to bask ourselves in uplifting and positive thoughts so we feel inspired, motivated, optimistic, energized, productive, and feel good about ourselves. Choose your words wisely. 

We often don’t realize how powerful our words are and how they impact others.

#4 The B Word. Boundaries.
Boundaries are essential for our productivity, success, well-being, and happiness. They empower us and contribute to feeling we’re in the driver’s seat of our lives. Who doesn’t want that?

#5 Clarity On What You Want.
To manifest what you want, you need a clear vision of what you want to create and a strategy and plan to get you there. You can always change a plan, but if you don’t have one to begin with, it’s hard to change it, right?

#6 Compete with Yourself.
It’s easy to put energy into what your colleagues or friends are doing or achieving. Stay focused on the activities that will bring YOU the results you want. Giving your attention to others takes your eye off the prize of being the best you can be.

#7 Don’t Expect a Certain Outcome.
I’m a huge believer in high standards and developing specific goals yet I’ve learned to not expect a certain outcome. Expectations are a breeding ground for disappointment. Be open to how situations unfold. If you remain flexible, the result may be better than you anticipated!

#8 Trust Your Gut.
The truth is, you’ve got to learn to use your instincts to be successful in business and life. The more you rely on your instincts and intuition, combined with your real-life experience, the better you’ll be at making sound decisions.

#9 Know Your Limits.
Contrary to popular belief, humans have limits! Check-in with yourself to see what you need at the moment. Instead of going to the event you’ve been dreading, perhaps a candlelit bath or meditation is a better choice.

#10 Go for It.
Taking risks isn’t for everyone. Fear is what usually prevents us from doing something uncomfortable. Acknowledge your fear, just don’t let it stop you from going after what you want!

Conclusion

Finding balance is a personal journey, it’s unique for everyone and there is no one-size-fits-all. Try not to make it another task to cross off your to-do list! Some people thrive with a killer workout, others a meditative walk, a dance party, yoga, breath work, art, sound healing, green juices, reading, a conversation with a friend, healing massage, great sex, deep sleep, or a combination of the above.

Let’s work together to discover what works best to bring you back into balance. 

Book a complimentary call with me here.

Explore more content on my website.

Want Clarity, Conviction and Confidence?

Want Clarity, Conviction and Confidence?

When I first began to think about creating my consulting and coaching business, I started to write every morning about what I wanted. I was in a reflective period, I had recently broken up with a boyfriend and was in a growth spurt. 

First thing after waking, sitting in my living room with a cup of Joe in hand, I wrote. The title at the top of the page, WHAT I WANT. I wrote a stream of consciousness, permitting myself to write whatever came to mind, with no rules, and anything goes. Every day for a month, I wrote for 15 minutes. Then every day for another month and another month after that. 

I got super clear. I got a conviction. I got committed. I got confident, to take action and start creating my life on my terms. Thus, the beginning of my coaching process.

That was 10 years ago. Back then, my business was called Eat the Brownie. I’ve always been super inspired to help people realize their full potential and get what they want, whether it’s more joy, freedom, money, success, peace of mind or whatever brings meaning. This is what “Eating the Brownie” is all about, knowing who you are, what you want and creating a life with #no regrets. (Read the story that inspired “Eat the Brownie” here.)

I call my morning writing ritual “Brownie Pages”, a take on Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages, the amazing author of the Artist’s Way.

What I know for sure is this: if you take the time to get out of mind mugginess, you will gain clarity on what you want. And if you take repeated action towards it, in 6 months your life will change. It’s how I got to where I am now. I changed where I live and what I do. My life looks very different than it did 10 years ago.

AND drum roll please..it’s time to do it again! Starting right now –  2 full months – I’m committed to writing “Brownie Pages” each and every day. So I can expand my vision for myself, my business and my life. And make 2024 the best year ever.

Who wants to join me? In just 8 weeks, you will have more clarity, conviction, and confidence to create the life you really want. Come on, let’s do this together.

Life is short, let’s get the party started. You in? Send me an email (amy at womanunruled dot com) and let me know! 

Eat the brownie

Clean Up Your Dog Poop: Shame-Free Leadership

Clean Up Your Dog Poop: Shame-Free Leadership

I was walking with my dog Pie the other day and there is a stretch by the water where I can take her off-leash. As soon as I unclipped her, I received a text from a client that required immediate attention. Completely immersed in my phone, a few minutes later, I heard a scream, “clean up your dog’s mess!”

As soon as I took my eye off the ball, Pie did her business.

I completely get why anyone would get pissed off when a dog owner doesn’t act responsibly. Totally fair. But the funny thing, I had poop bags exploding from my pockets for all to see. I still got the scornful look and a shameful-induced reaction.

So I said: “Thanks for pointing it out. You can see, I have bags galore. Shaming isn’t necessary.” The person must have been surprised by my comment. Then said, “Your dog is so cute.”

The art of humiliating and shaming others is at an all-time high. Bashing celebrities, music icons, political rivals, leaders of all kinds, you name it. It’s all over the news and social media, every single day.

Let’s break it down.

Shaming is s way of gaining power over others. It’s a way to feel in control. It’s judgment on steroids and its purpose is to modify behavior and keep people in their place. When a shamer points the finger, they feel greater than and feel good about themselves.

Business is hard these days. Revenue expectations and profitability goals are through the roof, companies are pivoting, some are faltering, and investors are aiming to acquire for pennies on the dollar. In addition, there is a disconnect between the values of the old guard and what the new guard of employees value and want from their jobs. Gen Z’s value autonomy, flexibility, purposeful work and work-life balance.

Clearly, the old model of wringing out as much as you can from employees is dead. Yet as a CEO or executive, the pressure to generate results while balancing the needs of your employees can be tricky, especially when delivering constructive feedback.

There are subtle ways providing feedback can come across as shaming. Before providing any, be clear on your intention and the specific results you want from the conversation. Script out your message, be clear, always start with a positive and look for positive outcomes.

To create a highly productive team and organization, focus on your people’s strengths, understand what they value, empower them so they feel motivated and inspired to make their biggest contribution.


 

Ways to work with me:

The Art of Listening: Your Most Important Leadership Skill

The Art of Listening: Your Most Important Leadership Skill

We hear it all the time. “You’re not listening to me.” “They totally missed my point.” “He/she talked over me.” Our desire to be heard and understood is a basic universal need. When we feel listened to, we feel connected, and closer to the person and it contributes to our well-being. When we don’t feel listened to, we get frustrated, and angry and dig our heels into our point of view. Not feeling listened to begets not listening.

Social media, email, texting and Slack make teams more efficient for sure but the downside is we have fewer conversations. I’m a huge fan of Slack but it’s not a one-hit wonder. There is much room for misinterpretation, and nuances are missed which can lead to confusion and not being on the same page.

Add the fact that the attention span of humans is less than a guppy, the art of listening has gone by the wayside. But here’s the thing: we think we need to listen so the other person feels acknowledged. The truth is, that listening is good for the listener. It increases empathy and keeps us cognitively engaged and focused. It’s even proven that the less you talk, the more you enjoy the conversation!

I help my coaching clients with all kinds of communication. Prepping for board meetings, interviews, team kick-off meetings, how to ask for the promotion, how to let someone go. What to say and how to say it, with clarity, connection and conviction. Listening is as important or more important than perfecting your message and what you want to say.

Why Listening Matters

  1. According to a McKinsey study, teams that prioritize communication and actively listen are 50% more likely to have high productivity levels. As leaders, our ability to listen directly impacts the bottom line.
  2. The International Journal of Listening highlights that effective listening reduces the potential of conflicts escalating. Teams where leaders actively listen experience 40% fewer conflicts.

Here are 6 Tips to Sharpen Your Listening Skills:

  1. Be present which means remove all distractions. Turn off your devices. Being fully present shows respect and creates a deeper connection.
  2. Get out of your head. Most people are thinking about what they want to say next vs. truly listening. Put yourself aside and focus on the other person.
  3. Ask open-ended questions. The name of the game is “Be Curious”! Asking open-ended questions gives people permission to tell you what they really think.
  4. Keep it simple and brief. Don’t get into the weeds or go off on a tangent. Clear and concise communication fosters better understanding and connection.
  5. Do your best not to interrupt.I know how it feels when you get excited and dying to make your point! Take a few breaths or count to three before responding.
  6. Remove judgment and bias. Be open to a different point of view, you’ll learn something! Judgment and criticism are linked and no one wants that 🙂

Will the noise and constant change around us, being a leader who is grounded and intently listens will set you apart. Listening is not just hearing what another person says. Listening is the ability to understand what others are saying and having them trust you. Cultivating your listening skills will create a more engaged team and. provide you with more fulfillment in your leadership journey.

To be a good leader, you have to be a great listener.

-Richard Branson

What breakthrough are you seeking?

8 Ways a Career Transition Coach Can Fuel Your Job Search

8 Ways a Career Transition Coach Can Fuel Your Job Search

In the ever-evolving job market, managers and leaders of all types find themselves in the challenging position of seeking new opportunities or wanting to make a change.

In fact, 75% of all Americans will be seeking a new job this year. Crazy, right?

No one on the planet likes looking for a new job. Navigating a career transition can feel daunting. Yet with the right guidance and support, you can significantly improve the outcome of your job search. 

The right career transition coach can help you thrive while looking for your dream job. They will provide you with tools, strategies, and insights throughout the process and also help you flourish in your new role. 

8 ways a career transition coach can help you up your job search game:

1. Discover your Strengths, Values, Passions and Purpose

A coach can help you identify your strengths, skills, values, and passions. Through self-assessment exercises and discussions, together, you will uncover what will make you happy professionally.

2. Clarifying Goals

Once you’ve discovered what truly matters to you, your coach will help you set clear and achievable goals. They’ll assist you in defining short-term and long-term objectives and plotting your course that you can follow during your job search.

3. Creating a Magnetic Resume

Your resume is often the first impression on potential employers. A coach can help you craft a compelling resume that highlights your relevant skills and accomplishments, making you stand out from others.

4. Optimizing Your LinkedIn Profile

Your LinkedIn profile is key for your visibility and connections.. A coach can provide expert guidance on how to create an attention-grabbing LinkedIn profile that attracts recruiters and hiring managers.

5. Personal Branding 

A career transition coach can help you build a personal brand that communicates your unique value proposition. They’ll show you how to articulate your strengths and what sets you apart from the competition.

6. Interview Preparation + Role Play

A coach can help you refine your interview skills, provide mock interview sessions, and offer constructive feedback to boost your confidence and performance during interviews.

7. Networking Strategies 

We all know the power of networking. A coach can teach you effective networking strategies and leverage your existing connections to uncover hidden job opportunities.

8. Motivation and Emotional Support 

The primary function of a coach is to help you stay focused, maintain a positive mindset, and overcome the ups and downs that can come up throughout your job search journey.

So why invest in a career transition coach? It’s an investment in your future. Working with a career transition coach will result in saving you time and frustration and ultimately help you land a more fulfilling and higher-paying position.

If you’re a manager or executive considering a career change or simply want to enhance your job search strategy, consider partnering with me for your job search. I’ll empower you to make aligned decisions, maximize your potential, and uplevel your professional life. 

To determine if working with me is a smart move, book a complimentary clarity call with me here.

Here’s a link to download my program brochure.

What breakthrough are you seeking?

Want to Grow Your Business?

Want to Grow Your Business?

It’s an unprecedented time, to say the least. Stress, pressure, fear and anxiety are at another all time high. I wrote this 3 years ago and it hasn’t let up.

While it is true we’re living in a time where things seem a bit nuts, there is an upside.

Challenge wakes us up. It makes things real. It gives us clarity. It makes our will stronger. It creates opportunities. It makes us work smarter to achieve our goals.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

I’ve been an entrepreneur for 15 years. I co-founded a sales and marketing consulting group, an executive recruiting firm, and a business consulting and coaching practice. I had the foresight to hire consultants and coaches to advise me in areas such as creating on-line business, marketing, messaging, social media and everything tech. I decided early on that I didn’t want to wing it so I surrounded myself with experts I could learn from.

I’ve learned a lot through the years. I’ve worked with dozens of entrepreneurs and consulted with companies at every stage of growth. I’ve also helped corporate coaching clients create a side gig that became their main gig.

Whether you are an entrepreneur just starting out or a business owner in growth mode, each business phase requires different things from you. How would if feel to have an expert partner with you to:

  • Clarify your vision
  • Refine your business strategy and priorities
  • Create a compelling value proposition
  • Build authentic branding and messaging
  • Unique offerings and pricing
  • Sales and strategic partnerships
  • Expand and grow
  • Develop a certainty of success mindset

Download my Mindset Tips for Entrepreneurs.

 

What breakthrough are you seeking?

If you need some direction or your business needs a tune up, I can help.
Let’s talk. Book a complimentary call with me.