11 Rules To Break To Set Yourself Free

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Are you 100% Committed?

Are you 100% Committed?

by | Mar 1, 2023 | Business, Mindset | 0 comments

So many shifts in our lives these days.

I see it in my own life, clients and friends. It feels like two steps forward, one step back. It’s “on” one day, then it’s “off”, then it’s “on” again. A few examples just this past week:

  • About to accept a job offer and a new opportunity pops up
  • Pregnant, but now there’s twins!
  • An Investor or client says “yes” then “no” then…
  • Travel plans change and go awry
  • Another unexpected re-org

When life throws us a curve ball, it’s easy to live in the what if’s. But that’s where worry and uncertainty lie. Our minds create an out, even before we get to the finish line! You know what I mean:

  • What if it doesn’t happen?
  • Is it even what I want?
  • What if I don’t like it?
  • What if I fail?
  • What if I’m not up to the task?
We need to commit to a desired outcome without becoming attached to an exact outcome.

More than ever we need to be certain and committed. Certain about who we are, what we want, and engage in making what we want “happen.” We need to commit to a desired outcome, without getting attached to an exact outcome.

For instance, you want a new job. You make a commitment to yourself, you develop a strategy, get your resume and LI profile up to snuff, do your research, engage, and keep taking action. you are certain you will get a new position but don’t get attached to a specific job, with a specific company before the process is complete.

Or you want a romantic relationship. You commit to the process, put yourself out there, show up authentically, go on dates, all the while getting more clear on what you want. You are certain that it will happen, without getting attached to a certain person, early on.

Or, you want to become a confident leader. You commit to developing your skills, hire a coach, make your calls a priority, do the work, practice and show up consistently. You are certain if you put in the time, you will reach your goal.

The only way to get results, is to be 100% committed, take consistent action, while being open to how things will unfold. When you are 100% committed, you are all in. You may not know exactly “all the hows” to get what you want but once you commit, the universe magically begins to conspire to help you reach your goal.

What breakthrough are you seeking?

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Avoiding Conflict? Read this.

Avoiding Conflict? Read this.

by | Feb 21, 2023 | Business, In-Power | 0 comments

Communication is the key to all healthy and thriving relationships. Though we know this to be true, we often don’t make it a priority, forget to share details, or avoid a conversation altogether.
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We fear and worry about how the other party will respond.

  • Will they get angry?
  • Reject me?
  • Be hurt?
  • Think negatively of me?
  • Will I open a can of worms?
  • Will it take too much time?

If we had our druthers, most of us prefer to steer clear of conflict and confrontation. Why? Because it’s uncomfortable. We are social creatures and are wired to want to be liked and belong. In fact, long ago our survival depended on it. We want to be “the nice guy”, “the good girl” and get the seal of approval from everyone. We prefer to not rock the boat and stay above the fray rather than get our hands dirty.

No wonder conflict avoidance is a real thing.

The truth is, avoiding conflict begets more conflict. We’ve all encountered a boss, partner or friend who would rather sweep an issue under the rug, ignore it and pray it will go away. This style only leads to frustration, resentment and feeling disconnected. Soon enough, you’re ready to explode.

Here are my simple and proven communication strategies for dealing with conflict:

1. Be Prepared – Know what you want to say ahead of time and practice

2. Be Clear – Keep it clear and concise

3. Be Confident – be strong in your point of view

4. Be Thoughtful – be respectful, speak with empathy and compassion

5. Be Grounded – eliminate distractions, stay present and calm

6. Be Willing – Listen and hear the other person out

7. Be Open – problem solve and look for synergistic outcomes

If you’ve been putting off a conversation, hesitating to voice your opinion or provide direct feedback, take the time to write down what you intend to say. Then practice! When you’re ready, initiate the conversation.

Communication is an art form. It takes time and commitment and will pay off in spades.

Considering A Career Pivot? Read this.

Considering A Career Pivot? Read this.

by | Feb 2, 2023 | Blog, Business, In-Power | 0 comments

It’s a brand-spanking new year, So what’s next for you?

With all the changes over the past three years, it still can feel like the landscape is shifting under our feet. Many clients, friends and others I talk with are reconsidering what they believe in, value, and want from their careers.

Here are a few examples:

  • Some laid off, feeling confused, doubting themselves, their skills, and their value.
  • Others wake up most days with a nagging feeling of not being fulfilled, after being on the fast track for years.
  • Another, who is in a soul-sucking job knows she can’t go on another minute. 
  • Entrepreneur clients have come to the conclusion their business model is no longer sustainable.

No matter your current situation, whether you’ve had a recent setback, facing failure you didn’t create or feel you lost your true north, it’s easy for anxiety and to rear its ugly head. When making any change, it’s natural to question what matters, your purpose, direction, and even your very own existence.

After working with hundreds of people to navigate their next position, I’ve learned if you stay grounded, committed, and willing to see it through, you will find your next position – that’s the perfect fit.  I’ve also found that these proven and effective tips will make any career transition easier:

Proven + Effective Tips To Make Any Career Transition Easier

1) BE INTENTIONAL

Develop the criteria that you want in your next position. What industries? What size companies? What’s the role? What are the people and culture like? What attributes in a boss do you want?

2) LEAD WITH AND LEVERAGE YOUR STRENGTHS

Own who you are which includes your strengths, skills, values and passions and what sets you apart from others. Your authenticity is your strongest asset.

3) BE DISCERNING AND HAVE AN ABUNDANT MINDSET

Think quality over quantity. If a company or position doesn’t light you up, it’s not for you. There will be others that do. Be committed to what you are looking for, while open to possibilities.

4) DEVELOP A STRATEGY AND PLAN

Start with creating a list of target companies. Research job openings. Get your resume and LI Profile up to snuff. Leverage your LI network and contacts.

5) INTERVIEW PREPARATION

Research and do your homework. Spend three times the amount of time of the actual interview preparing for it. Develop a list of questions you want to ask. Think of it as a first date.

6) TRUST THE PROCESS

More often than not, there will be twists and turns through the process. Hold out for the right position and be confident you will land a meaningful role where you can make a difference.

Looking for fulfillment in your next role that is aligned with your natural talents and what you value, ?

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Decision Making, Made Easy.

Decision Making, Made Easy.

by | Jan 4, 2023 | Business, In-Power | 0 comments

It’s a human need to want to be ourselves and be accepted for who we are.

After my corporate gigs, I joined a start-up as VP of Sales which had just received an unheard amount of capital, a whopping $36 Million in its B round.

The CEO was 32, Stanford MBA, with little leadership and operational experience. To say it kindly, he was a control freak and needed to know my every move. I had been accustomed to a lot of autonomy so it was a bit of a shock and an adjustment. He also wanted the entire team to eat lunch at the company – every day. Lunch was bologna on Wonder bread, which if you know me at all, is not my cup of tea. 

So what did I do? I’d go out and buy a salad.

Early on, the CEO wasn’t receptive to what I had to say, about anything. Again something I wasn’t accustomed to. In retrospect, he may have thought I was rebelling when I spoke up or didn’t eat bologna. The culture was hierarchical, dominating, and fear-based. I knew after the first week, it was a terrible fit. Instead of accepting I had made the wrong choice, I resisted it. I thought I could make it work, which only made me more stressed and miserable. 

No matter the culture – whether it’s within a company, family, romantic relationship or friendship, none of us want to feel contained or controlled. When we feel we can’t be ourselves, it’s natural to shrink, feel suffocated or resentful.

We always have a choice. We can either accept the situation we’re in or not. 

There are pros and cons to every job, relationship or company. You get to choose what’s right for you. Do a Ben Franklin. If there are more pros, then stay. If there are more cons, bring up your concerns, if the situation allows for it. If not, perhaps it’s time to go.

Decision making – made easy. It’s simple if we let it.  

Never Minimize Yourself

It’s Time to Up Level.

It’s Time to Up Level.

by | Jan 3, 2023 | Business, Inspiration | 0 comments

Since the start of the year, I’ve been asking clients what their word is for 2024. I woke up in the morning a few weeks ago to my word, Up-Level.

No matter what your word is, I think every new year starts with:

Clearing out what is no longer necessary, removing anything complicated, zaps your energy, or no longer floats your boat. Getting super clear on what you want to create and aligning your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions to make what you want happen, happen. Quality over quantity in how you show up, what you focus on, what you say, and what you choose to do. 

I’ve been clearing out with a vengeance. Drawers, closets, dressers, bins, cabinets, files, books, shredded papers, organized my kitchen, went to Goodwill, car trunk, went to Goodwill again, shredded some more, dumped all those sample products I get and never use, ice packs in the freezer I’ve been collecting…you know what I mean.

Clearing out always makes room for the new.

I then focus on creating an intentional action plan for the year ahead. (One that puts a huge smile on my face.) I like to start by looking at the eight intertwined areas of life. Then ask questions:

In what area(s) do I want change?

What’s my vision and intention?

What are my priorities and goals?

Where do I need help?

Creating an aligned plan helps to make changes in your life that will accelerate growth, keep you accountable and help you reach your goals the fastest. To make it super easy to create a plan for 2023, download a copy of Your Aligned Impact Plan, right here.

As an old boss of mine used to say:

“You can change a plan but you can’t change a “no plan”.

What breakthrough are you seeking?

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The Procrastination + Perfectionism Loop

The Procrastination + Perfectionism Loop

by | Oct 21, 2022 | Blog, Business, Mindset | 0 comments

I recently had a conversation with a client and we talked about how much work he had on his plate, how he was falling behind and the anxiety he was feeling. I asked him a few questions:

Do you consider yourself a procrastinator?

Are you a perfectionist?

Have you always been this way?

I got a resounding YES from all three questions.

I said: “Procrastination always leads to feeling shitty.” He smiled and nodded his head.

80% of high achievers suffer from procrastination due to their high standards and expectations of themselves.

And, people who tend to procrastinate are more likely to be perfectionists. Perfection and procrastination go hand in hand. The truth is, it’s perfectionism that inhibits productivity.

Perfectionists believe they are loved for what they do, how they look, or for Doing It Right. I’m a recovered perfectionist but it still rears its ugly head, usually when I try really hard and don’t get the results I want.

The Perfectionism/Procrastination Loop is like being on a hamster wheel. It begins with having unrealistic standards, then fear of failure sets in, then avoidance comes next to stir up guilt and stress, which leads to thinking and feeling shitty about yourself.

if i waited for perfection, i would never right a word. Margaret atwood

Here are my 5 tips to break the perfectionism cycle:

1. Ask yourself, why do I believe I need to be perfect?
Most likely, it was how you learned to get love as a small child. Once you ask yourself, ask the question again, I bet you’ll get a different answer. You’ll recognize that you are loved for who you are – not for what you accomplish.

2. Stop second-guessing.
Doubting yourself and your actions is usually about what happened in the past. “Should I have handled the situation differently?” Start trusting yourself and the decisions you make. If you focus on what’s happening now, you can make a positive impact.

3. Release the judgment.
It only leads to a negative view of everything – yourself, situations and all the people who truly matter to you. Judgment dilutes your vitality. Instead, direct your energy into what you love and what inspires you.

4. Stop being your worst critic.
“Who are you to think less of yourself than others do? Belittling yourself is so passé. It’s time to learn to be kind and gentle with yourself.

5. Let go of unrealistic expectations of yourself and others.
Expectations only create disappointment, especially if they aren’t met. Be open to how things unfold. The outcome may be better than you imagined.

Having high standards and working hard to achieve goals is how you get ahead in life. Just don’t let it affect your happiness and those around you.

If you’re ready to maximize
your leadership potential, let’s talk.

A bigger picture of success awaits.

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