by Amy Matthews | Apr 30, 2018 | Business, Mindset |
Too much to do, too little time to do it. Does that sound familiar? You are not alone. There is so much going on in our lives and in the world today that life seems to be moving faster and faster. Many of us are so caught up rushing from one thing to the next that we forget to stop and breathe.
We all know the feeling of overwhelm and it’s not fun. It leaves us feeling stressed out and often paralyzed to take action. Or we decide to take something off our plate – the very thing we want and need most. Here are examples:
You know yoga makes you feel good but instead of going to class, you work longer or gulp down a glass of wine. Or you postpone working with a coach who can frame a new outlook and help you develop an action plan. We’ve all been there!
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, here are 5 things I do to shift:
Take a Time Out.
When you feel overwhelmed, this is when you need to take a breather! Get into your body by taking deep breaths or meditating for 5-10 minutes. Put some soothing music on. Go for a walk. All these things will help you shift.
Write it Down.
Write down what’s in your head that’s making you feel overwhelmed. Is it a work project? Life in general? Once you start writing, your overwhelm will naturally diffuse. You’ll gain perspective on how much you really have to do.
Ask Yourself: What Am I Feeling?
Overwhelm often happens not because there’s too much to handle, but because our emotions get in the way. Our feelings and emotions are what make us stressed out.
If you can, talk it out with a friend.
Take Action.
Determine your priorities. Everything doesn’t have to happen this minute! Do the things that are urgent, save the important ones to do later and delegate or outsource the things that you don’t need to do.
Be Grateful.
I bet your life is pretty incredible. It’s amazing how differently we feel when we shift our perspective from “there is so much I HAVE to do” to “there is so much I GET to do.” Give it a shot – appreciate all that you have now.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 16, 2018 | Business |
Many women in business feel the pressure to act like men, communicate like men and even dress like men. Though more prevalent in traditionally male dominated industries – like finance and venture capital – there are women in every industry that feel this pressure. At some level, whether conscious of it or not, women believe if they want to get ahead, they need to look and act a certain way.
I am not saying the pressure isn’t real – don’t get me wrong. The problem is, by buying into it, we accommodate and wear masks. We can lose touch with who we really are because we believe our authentic self isn’t ok or enough.
Here’s something that happened last week.
I was meeting with a male friend of mine in San Francisco at the Four Seasons. There was an institutional investor conference going on at the hotel so the lobby was crowded. An attractive woman, in her early 30’s, walked past us. My very observant and astute friend said, “she looks a lot older than she is wearing that”. She was in a tweed suit – imagine Chanel like. I noticed that the suit was wearing her rather than the other way around. She looked like a mannequin – awkward and lifeless. Instantly, I said:
She’s wearing what she thinks she’s supposed to wear. Not what she wants to wear.
Why?
To Not Stand Out.
To Not Rock the Boat.
For Fear She Won’t be Taken Seriously.
To Fit In with the Ol’ Boys Club.
I don’t know if you can relate but I can. I remember the navy blue, double breasted, wool suit I wore in my 20’s! At the time, with my short bob, I thought I had it going on. Through experience and time, I’ve learned – in business and in life:
Show Up Authentically.
Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin.
Communicate Confidently and Clearly.
Wear What Makes You Feel Good and Right for the Situation.
Unless we start changing our behavior, nothing will change. We can’t expect men to change, old structures to change or the old boy network to change. Women need to courageously lead the change. If we want things to be different, whether at work or at home, we’ve gotta show up authentically, in our power, in our brilliance and grace. And ask for what we want and need. Once we fully step up and show up to ourselves, men will take our lead.
There’s no better version of yourself than the real YOU. Be Yourself – ALWAYS.
Realize the power you have – in all aspects of your life.
Btw, the word Courageous comes from the French word Coeur..which means Heart.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 2, 2018 | Business, In-Power |
Who you are being has a lot to do with your success, in all aspects of life. The truth is, we are all leaders. Each one of us has a choice on how we show up everyday, in every situation.
Here are my Top 8 Leadership Skills for Everyday Life:
1. Be Authentic, Real and Confident.
Feel comfortable in your own skin and stay true to who you are, no matter what. Have strong convictions, clear intentions and be willing to stand up for what you believe in.
2. Be Accountable and Committed.
The buck stops with you. No excuses or scapegoats. Be accountable for the choices you make and 100% committed – to your relationships and whatever you do.
3. Trust your Intuition and Communicate.
Use your intuition. Listen and connect. Size up the situation, access your feelings and communicate your truth with clarity and compassion.
4. Understand the Value of Time.
Your most precious resource is your time. Know what matters to you most and prioritize your time accordingly. Don’t waste your time or the time of others.
5. Be Kind and Earn People’s Trust.
Treat everyone with respect, whether it’s loved ones, colleagues or someone you just met. Make every encounter matter and memorable.
6. Be an Example for Others.
Own your brilliance, love yourself and embody your power. People are attracted to presence and positive energy. Inspire others to be the very best that they can be.
7. Be Flexible and Resilient.
Things change. Be flexible and willing to alter your plan. When shit hits the fan, pivot.
Don’t get attached to a certain outcome.
8. Plan and Take Decisive Action.
Know who are, what you want and where you want to go. Once you do, take decisive action. Never let your fear or doubt stop you from manifesting what you really want.
Be the Leader of Your Life.
Be the Leader of Others.
Be the Inspiration.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 12, 2018 | Business, In-Power |
#1 Start Your Day with a Positive Attitude.
Get out of your head and into your body: whatever that means for you. It might be going for a run or walk, taking a spin or yoga class or simply being quiet and meditating. Your intention is to be grounded, present, confident and ready to face the day.
#2 Be Authentic and Stay True to Who You Are.
When I was in my 20’s, I had an interview with an executive who would eventually hire me for my first sales manager job. He asked me, how will I change if I make a lot of money? It was an interesting question. Was he asking me, would the money go to my head? The truth is, my values have never changed, despite periods of my career where I’ve earned a lot of money. Perhaps your lifestyle changes when you have more money, but your values don’t have to. You are the same person at work as you are at home so show up in business as your authentic self.
#3 It’s Not About the Hours. It’s About Results.
Don’t stay up late working because “everyone else is doing it”. I learned early in my sales leadership career to never confuse activity with results. It wasn’t about how many sales calls I went on. It was about making sure each one had a successful outcome. Don’t get me wrong, I spent my fair share of late nights at the office early in my career. But ultimately, it’s all about performance – how much you can make happen in a given timeframe, not the actual time you put into it.
#4 Don’t Concerned About Being Liked.
Listen. We all want people to like us. But don’t make it a priority at the expense of realizing what you want to accomplish. If others are uneasy with your success or feel insecure around you, it’s not your job to make them feel comfortable. Of course, self awareness and grace go a long way. But in general, I suggest: own your confidence, leadership and charisma and be a role model for others around you.
#5 Know What You Want.
I’m one of those people that gets passionately attached to an idea. Once I do, I’ve been known to have an unrelenting focus to make it happen. Picture a dog with a bone – assertive! You don’t need the same fervor, but you do need a clear vision of what you want to create and a strategy and plan to get you there. You can always change a plan, but if you don’t have a plan to begin with, it’s hard to change, right?
#6 Ask for It.
Once you’re clear on what it is that you want, ask your potential client, boss or employee, for whatever it is. “I’d like to build a strategic partnership with you and your company”, “I’d like to manage a sales team focused on this vertical”, “I’d like to work with you”, “I’d like to be promoted to VP, here’s why I’ve earned it”. You can’t expect things you want to happen magically. You have to Ask. Also, if you don’t ask, you’ll never know what you could have gained.
#7 Compete with Yourself.
It’s easy to put energy into what your colleagues or friends are doing or achieving. Many company cultures thrive on promoting competition among their workforce. I say, stay focused on the activities that will bring YOU the results you want. Giving your attention to others takes your eye off the prize of being the best you can be. And here’s the thing: your experience, values, strengths, skills, passions and your DNA are totally unique. Embrace your individuality, and it will lead to your ultimate success. Don’t compete with others: compete with yourself.
#8 Don’t Expect a Certain Outcome.
This is a controversial statement. I’m a huge believer in having high standards, a clear vision, and specific goals to get you where you want to go. Simultaneously, I’ve learned to not expect a certain outcome. Business expectations are a breeding ground for disappointment. Shit happens within your own company and often with your clients. Expectations of a product launch happening on time or revenues coming in at a specific time – you get the drill. Be open to how situations unfold and always have a plan B. If you remain flexible, the outcome may be better than you anticipated.
#9 Ask for Forgiveness. Not Permission..
The maverick in me likes this one. Truth be told, you’ve got to learn to use your instincts to be successful in business, and that requires making gut level decisions. If you’re waiting for someone to tell you what to do, you’re probably in the wrong role or place. The more you rely on your instincts and intuition, along with your real life experience, the better you’ll be at making sound business decisions.
#10 Speak Up.
If you have ideas that can improve your company’s performance, announce them! I don’t mean endlessly offering information that hasn’t been requested. But if you have feedback on ways to do things better, propose a thoughtful solution. The only way companies can get better is if employees and customers provide their honest, constructive feedback.
#11 Go for It.
Taking risks isn’t for everyone. Fear is what usually prevents us from doing something that is uncomfortable. Common thoughts can be “what if I fail”, “what if it’s the wrong decision”, “what will people think of me.” Be aware of your fears, acknowledge them, just don’t let them stop you from going after what you really want! Change the conversation in your head to: “I might be intimidated, but this will work! I so got this!”
If you are an entrepreneur or an executive, I can help you align with your business goals for your ultimate success. Check out my business coaching options here.
I also offer a complimentary 30 minute coaching session. You can sign up right here.
by Amy Matthews | Sep 11, 2017 | Business |
I’ve had several clients going through a career transition and have asked me to help them prepare for job interviews. As a recruiter and coach, I’d like to share my Top 5 Tips. If you put time and energy into preparing upfront, you’ll have an amazing outcome. I promise.
#1 Do Your Research
This, of course, goes without saying. Research the company, its products, revenues, business model, overall market, its competitors, and the background of each person you’ll be meeting with. Find out if you know anyone in your LinkedIn network who is connected to the person with whom you’ll be interviewing and get the scoop. If you’re working with a recruiter, ask them to brief you on the personality of each person. Do your homework and spend at least 3 times the amount of time of the actual interview preparing for it. If your initial interview is an hour, prepare for at least three hours. You may even want to role play with a willing friend or partner.
#2 Be Ready
Get a good night’s sleep so you’re refreshed for your interview. The morning of the interview, do something that puts you in a positive mood and gets you focused. Get out of your head and into your body: whatever that means for you. It might be going for a run or walk, taking a spin or yoga class, or meditating. Your intention is to be ready for anything, grounded and present. It’s time to get into the interview zone.
#3 Be Authentic
Be YOU. Not who you think the person across the table wants you to be. Be confident with yourself and who you really are, what you can do for the company, and develop a connection with the interviewer. Nothing is more refreshing than meeting someone who is comfortable in their own skin! It helps build instant rapport and trust. This goes without saying too. Be engaging, intelligent, curious and genuinely excited about the opportunity. Authentic passion sells.
#4 Relax and Have Fun!
If you tend to get nervous in an interview, remind yourself to enjoy it. It’s a process of getting to know someone, so let go and take the pressure off yourself. If you’re asked a question and you don’t know the answer, don’t worry, keep your composure, don’t miss a beat and keep going. I have a client who always asks the same question to candidates he interviews. Without revealing his question, it’s a complicated problem solver with no right answer. He asks it because he wants to find out how a candidate handles himself/herself under pressure. One interviewee got very angry and blew up at him — clearly, he didn’t get the job!
#5 Don’t Think “I Gotta Have this Job!”.
Though the position may sound like a dream job; keep an open mind, especially during the first interview. Think of it as a first date. The interview process is as much an opportunity for you to decide if the job is right for you as it is for the person and company you’re interviewing with. Try not to be overeager – until you know more. We all remember a first date when the guy/girl was too into you, right? Your goal, ultimately, is for the position to be a great fit for your skills and experience. You want to love the company and its culture and most importantly, you want to like and respect the people with whom you’ll be working. If the job is meant for you, it will be. Remember, you are super talented and you certainly don’t want a job that’s not right and doesn’t want you.
If you are struggling with a specific career transition, I can help. Sign up for your free 20 minute coaching session HERE.
by Amy Matthews | Aug 29, 2017 | Business, In-Power |
As a career and life-freedom coach, I often have people ask me for help when they are negotiating job offers. No matter what age and how much experience, I have found a common theme. Woman, no matter how confident and accomplished they are, have a tough time asking for what they want in a salary negotiation.
Here are recent examples of women I have worked with:
- A 29 year old woman negotiating with a very cool, hip, fashion and lifestyle start-up
- A woman in her 40’s negotiating for her dream job with an up and coming consumer products company
- A highly experienced 50+ year old woman negotiating with a management consultant firm
Each of these three women is well educated, extremely smart, articulate, professional and accomplished in their own right. Before they got a formal offer, they did their homework on salary ranges and relative comps for the position they were seeking in their respective industries. Once they had a formal offer in hand, the salary offered was lower than what their research had shown.
I had a similar conversation with each woman even though their specific situation was unique to them. “Once you have an offer in hand, undoubtedly, this is your most powerful position during the interview process. Remember, They Want You – You are the Prize. Ask for What You Want. Ask for What You Are Worth. Ask for What You Deserve. If You Don’t Ask, You Won’t Know. Now, a caveat. I’m not suggesting you take out your Wonder Woman sword and go into battle. Think of your negotiation as a conversation. Be clear in your communication, connected and cordial.”
I’ve worked in executive search with hundreds of candidates. It’s been my experience, once a man enters into salary negotiations, he has no hesitation asking for the compensation he wants and thinks he deserves. So why is it difficult for a woman to ask for what she wants? I think most women, while growing up, aren’t taught to embrace their self worth, especially in a professional, career sense, like men are taught. Women feel apprehensive about negotiating because they don’t want to be seen as aggressive. As we all know, society and the media don’t know how to handle forceful women. Even with all the powerful, accomplished women in the world today, there’s still a long way to go.
Learning to negotiate and asking for what you want is a skill that any person, man, woman or child, can learn and perfect. You just need to try. It may be uncomfortable or even scary the first time you negotiate and ask for your value. If you get an answer that is less than optimal, pause. Perhaps, propose a creative solution that can work for you AND your soon to be employer. Once you understand the art of it and start getting the results you want, it will be smooth sailing ahead.
If you’d like to learn how to negotiation effectively in your career, I can help. Check out my coaching packages and sign up for your free 30 minute coaching session here.
