by Amy Matthews | May 10, 2018 | Business, In-Power |
I know what it’s like to lose. A lot.
Here’s my story and why I started Woman UnRuled.
In my first career, I worked for technology companies in sales and sales leadership positions. By the time I was 30, I had a ton of responsibility and managed a national sales team. We worked hard and had fun. At the time, I was making good money, $300K a year plus stock options. Fast forward a few years, as I continued to take on more responsibility, I finally got the VP title. Each year I was with the company, I was granted more options.
The company was acquired by a Fortune 100 and the stock continued to rise. And split. And then it would rise again. Two years after the acquisition, those of us in leadership roles were asked to integrate our teams within the larger company. We had to decide if we wanted to stay with the company and find a new position, or leave with a package. I rose my hand for the package and planned to take a year off before deciding what to do next.
I didn’t sell my stock all at once because I would have had a greater tax consequence. This is what happened next. The stock started to go down.. and down. Even though I was losing equity, I still didn’t sell it, thinking it would go back up. 9 months later, the stock that was once worth $3.2M was worth nothing at all. I felt I had the rug pulled out from underneath me.
Here’s the thing: when I had the money, I thought I didn’t have enough. I lived in my head, not in my heart. As I look back, I understand that I let fear stop me. By losing so much, in an odd way, it gave me a greater sense of freedom. Realizing that I was still okay after that epic loss was a profound learning which has made a huge impact on how I live today. Ultimately, it was empowering.
This sense of empowerment is why I started Woman UnRuled. I believe in living by your own rules and living a life you truly love with exponential freedom and joy – everyday. Woman UnRuled is about living with no regrets and no fear and taking action towards what you truly want. I believe you can be, do or have anything you want. It’s up to you.
If you’re a business woman who’s serious about the next level, I want to talk. Believe me when I say, I’ve been in your shoes. Maybe you’re questioning things in your career or life right now and you feel the weight of wanting more. I want to talk to you.
Would you like to feel more empowered, energized and inspired? There’s no better time than now to start living the big, juicy, joyful, abundant life you’ve always imagined.
by Amy Matthews | May 9, 2018 | In-Power, Mindset |
When I was 5 years old, I shared a bedroom with my older sister. One day after a bath, I came into the bedroom dancing, wet body and all. I was using my towel as a prop. I was giggling and squealing with delight because I was having so much fun.
My sister said to me “you’re going to be a stripper when you grow up”. Whoa. Talk about raining on my parade. I was too young to know what a stripper was, but old enough to know from her sharp tone that it wasn’t a good thing. The message I got in that moment, loud and clear, was that being joyful and moving my body freely wasn’t what “good girls” do.
My sister and I are very close and though I have never asked her, I bet she wouldn’t remember what she said to me that day. But I do. Her comment shut me down. For a long time and even into adulthood, I shied away from expressing myself through my body. I felt shame about my body.
The good news is, I now love to move my body everyday. Daily exercise is my go-to: hiking, yoga, bootcamp, walking, a sweaty spin class – you name it. And I love, love, love to dance.
Has anyone ever said something to you that made you feel shameful that stuck with you?
I’ve moved through the feeling of shame many times. If I can do it, I know you can too.
I say:
Don’t let anyone throw water on your fire.
Don’t let what others say or think stop you from expressing who you really are.
Never minimize yourself, it’s okay to be shiny!
Ready to free yourself from what’s holding you back?
by Amy Matthews | May 5, 2018 | In-Power |
I joined an adult novice rowing team last year. Here’s the thing:I had never rowed before. Not even once. I just got it into my head that it was something I wanted to do. Getting a great workout on the water and learning a new team sport appealed to me. It was rigorous. Practice was at 5:40am two weekdays and on Saturdays. I had to wake up at 4:30am to get to practice on time.
Not exactly my cup of tea.
There was a woman on the team, I’d say she was 65 years old. She had recently lost 40 pounds and joined the team to stay in shape. She was enthusiastic, dedicated and always the first one at practice. Our coach was 23 years old, just out of college. His rowing skills were strong but he had no interpersonal skills. Nada.Nil. Zippo. Each morning, he berated this woman in front of the entire team.He told her that not only would she never be a good rower, but that basically she was incompetent. And she still continued to come to practice. It was painful to hear and watch the verbal abuse she received from this inexperienced coach. It was almost like he wanted to break her down and make her quit. But she kept showing up. Bottom line, it was obsessive criticism and abusive behavior no one should ever put up with. And then one day, she sent her team members an email to say she decided to quit.
Fast forward, one year later. I was at to the farmers market a couple Saturdays ago. Out of the corner of my eye, a woman exclaimed, “Hi, Amy!”. I didn’t recognize her until she said her name. It finally dawned on me who she was, but she was twice the size of the woman on my rowing team! She proceeded to tell me how belittling and excruciatingly painful her experience was with the coach. How she gained back all her weight and then some. How bad she felt about herself. And how she missed being on the water in the early mornings. Whoa..it made my heart break.
Here is what you need to know:
* Never, I mean never, put up with abusive behavior, verbal or otherwise
* Never let anyone tell you you are “less than“
* Don’t let anyone stamp out your passion and enthusiasm
If you find yourself in a situation where someone is putting you down, make it your choice to leave. Do Not Pass Go. Over and Done With. Vamoose.
YOU can Break Free in your life, but it’s going to take you saying NO MORE to other people who try to keep you from your new life.
Do you want to feel more self love, confidence and feel empowered?
by Amy Matthews | May 4, 2018 | In-Power |
Here’s a story I want to share about a client of mine. She’s 37 years old, articulate, and highly intuitive. She has a stable career as a nurse, owns a home and is dedicated to raising her two children. She was married for 20 years and she divorced less than two years ago. Her ex is a good father, and dedicated to her and their two girls. They just grew apart.
For the past year and a half, she’s been dating a younger man from work. She loves him very much and he loves her too. They have an amazing bond and their chemistry is off the charts.
One BIG Problem:
She found out from his mother that he was also seeing someone else for the past 9 months. She confronted him and he finally admitted it. She broke it off and he continued to pursue her. Vehemently. She decided to allow him back into her life even though her intuition says he’s still with the other person. She’s heartbroken. She feels rejected and preoccupied with the idea that he is choosing the other woman over her.
I asked her to list the things she knew about this man from her time being with him. How he showed up, and what his actions revealed about him. Just the facts. Here’s what she came up with:
* Emotionally immature
* Not faithful
* Not honest
* Not trustworthy
* Not ready for commitment
I then asked her a simple question.
Does she want to be with a man who’s emotionally immature? Not faithful? Not honest? Not trustworthy? Not ready for commitment? Her answer was a resounding NO.
I told her that she was rejecting him, not the other way around. He’s not able to give her what she wants. It’s not about her vs. the other woman. He simply isn’t ready. Period.
Rejection can have such a hold on us that it’s sometimes hard to see straight. I know how hard it is to let go of someone you love dearly. It’s painful. It takes courage. It takes guts. But by doing so, you are ultimately saying YES to yourself.
Say YES to Yourself. Say Yes to What You Want. Do Not Waiver. Even When It’s Hard.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 2, 2018 | Business, In-Power |
Who you are being has a lot to do with your success, in all aspects of life. The truth is, we are all leaders. Each one of us has a choice on how we show up everyday, in every situation.
Here are my Top 8 Leadership Skills for Everyday Life:
1. Be Authentic, Real and Confident.
Feel comfortable in your own skin and stay true to who you are, no matter what. Have strong convictions, clear intentions and be willing to stand up for what you believe in.
2. Be Accountable and Committed.
The buck stops with you. No excuses or scapegoats. Be accountable for the choices you make and 100% committed – to your relationships and whatever you do.
3. Trust your Intuition and Communicate.
Use your intuition. Listen and connect. Size up the situation, access your feelings and communicate your truth with clarity and compassion.
4. Understand the Value of Time.
Your most precious resource is your time. Know what matters to you most and prioritize your time accordingly. Don’t waste your time or the time of others.
5. Be Kind and Earn People’s Trust.
Treat everyone with respect, whether it’s loved ones, colleagues or someone you just met. Make every encounter matter and memorable.
6. Be an Example for Others.
Own your brilliance, love yourself and embody your power. People are attracted to presence and positive energy. Inspire others to be the very best that they can be.
7. Be Flexible and Resilient.
Things change. Be flexible and willing to alter your plan. When shit hits the fan, pivot.
Don’t get attached to a certain outcome.
8. Plan and Take Decisive Action.
Know who are, what you want and where you want to go. Once you do, take decisive action. Never let your fear or doubt stop you from manifesting what you really want.
Be the Leader of Your Life.
Be the Leader of Others.
Be the Inspiration.
by Amy Matthews | Mar 26, 2018 | In-Power |
I get this question a lot. What’s your definition of “Being Empowered”?
To me, being empowered means Being in-Your-Power, Within Yourself.
It’s loving and trusting yourself, feeling comfortable in your own skin, communicating your truth, being able to laugh at yourself and staying true to who you are and what you believe in – no matter what is happening around you. It’s having clear intentions and taking decisive action to realize what you really want.
It’s Autonomy – the feeling of independence and freedom.
It’s Accountability – for how you show up and every choice you make.
It’s living as the Authority of Your Life – knowing the buck stops with you.
It’s being the Author of Your Life – choosing your thoughts, words and actions wisely.
I didn’t say it was easy! It takes a whole lotta clarity, courage and confidence to stand and stay in your power.
Being Empowered is NOT:
It’s NOT about power over others.
It’s NOT about proving yourself and doing more.
It’s NOT about being driven by the attention or accolades from others.
It’s NOT about playing the Perfection Game as it can’t be won.
On a scale of 1-10, how Empowered do You Feel?
