11 Rules To Break To Set Yourself Free

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11 Tips for Work/Life Balance and Success

11 Tips for Work/Life Balance and Success

#1 Start Your Day with a Positive Attitude.

Get out of your head and into your body: whatever that means for you. It might be going for a run or walk, taking a spin or yoga class or simply being quiet and meditating. Your intention is to be grounded, present, confident and ready to face the day.

#2 Be Authentic and Stay True to Who You Are.

When I was in my 20’s, I had an interview with an executive who would eventually hire me for my first sales manager job. He asked me, how will I change if I make a lot of money? It was an interesting question. Was he asking me, would the money go to my head? The truth is, my values have never changed, despite periods of my career where I’ve earned a lot of money. Perhaps your lifestyle changes when you have more money, but your values don’t have to. You are the same person at work as you are at home so show up in business as your authentic self.

#3 It’s Not About the Hours. It’s About Results.

Don’t stay up late working because “everyone else is doing it”. I learned early in my sales leadership career to never confuse activity with results. It wasn’t about how many sales calls I went on. It was about making sure each one had a successful outcome. Don’t get me wrong, I spent my fair share of late nights at the office early in my career. But ultimately, it’s all about performance – how much you can make happen in a given timeframe, not the actual time you put into it.

#4 Don’t Concerned About Being Liked.

Listen. We all want people to like us. But don’t make it a priority at the expense of realizing what you want to accomplish. If others are uneasy with your success or feel insecure around you, it’s not your job to make them feel comfortable. Of course, self awareness and grace go a long way. But in general, I suggest: own your confidence, leadership and charisma and be a role model for others around you.

#5 Know What You Want.

I’m one of those people that gets passionately attached to an idea. Once I do, I’ve been known to have an unrelenting focus to make it happen. Picture a dog with a bone – assertive! You don’t need the same fervor, but you do need a clear vision of what you want to create and a strategy and plan to get you there. You can always change a plan, but if you don’t have a plan to begin with, it’s hard to change, right?

#6 Ask for It.

Once you’re clear on what it is that you want, ask your potential client, boss or employee, for whatever it is. “I’d like to build a strategic partnership with you and your company”, “I’d like to manage a sales team focused on this vertical”, “I’d like to work with you”, “I’d like to be promoted to VP, here’s why I’ve earned it”. You can’t expect things you want to happen magically. You have to Ask. Also, if you don’t ask, you’ll never know what you could have gained.

#7 Compete with Yourself.

It’s easy to put energy into what your colleagues or friends are doing or achieving. Many company cultures thrive on promoting competition among their workforce. I say, stay focused on the activities that will bring YOU the results you want. Giving your attention to others takes your eye off the prize of being the best you can be. And here’s the thing: your experience, values, strengths, skills, passions and your DNA are totally unique. Embrace your individuality, and it will lead to your ultimate success. Don’t compete with others: compete with yourself.

#8 Don’t Expect a Certain Outcome.

This is a controversial statement. I’m a huge believer in having high standards, a clear vision, and specific goals to get you where you want to go. Simultaneously, I’ve learned to not expect a certain outcome. Business expectations are a breeding ground for disappointment. Shit happens within your own company and often with your clients. Expectations of a product launch happening on time or revenues coming in at a specific time – you get the drill. Be open to how situations unfold and always have a plan B. If you remain flexible, the outcome may be better than you anticipated.

#9 Ask for Forgiveness. Not Permission..

The maverick in me likes this one. Truth be told, you’ve got to learn to use your instincts to be successful in business, and that requires making gut level decisions. If you’re waiting for someone to tell you what to do, you’re probably in the wrong role or place. The more you rely on your instincts and intuition, along with your real life experience, the better you’ll be at making sound business decisions.

#10 Speak Up.

If you have ideas that can improve your company’s performance, announce them! I don’t mean endlessly offering information that hasn’t been requested. But if you have feedback on ways to do things better, propose a thoughtful solution. The only way companies can get better is if employees and customers provide their honest, constructive feedback.

#11 Go for It.

Taking risks isn’t for everyone. Fear is what usually prevents us from doing something that is uncomfortable. Common thoughts can be “what if I fail”, “what if it’s the wrong decision”, “what will people think of me.” Be aware of your fears, acknowledge them, just don’t let them stop you from going after what you really want! Change the conversation in your head to: “I might be intimidated, but this will work! I so got this!”

If you are an entrepreneur or an executive, I can help you align with your business goals for your ultimate success. Check out my business coaching options here.

I also offer a complimentary 30 minute coaching session. You can sign up right here.

 

The One Minute Break Up

The One Minute Break Up

This blog is about heartbreak. Everyone has had at least one broken heart in their life if they’ve been lucky enough to love deeply. I’ve certainly had mine.

Here’s a story I’d like to share with you:

A few years ago, I went through a painful breakup. We really loved each other, were attracted to each other in many ways, had a ton of fun, traveled together, and developed a good friendship to boot. After having dated for over two years, I initiated the “relationship” conversation. Uh oh – you probably guessed it. He said he wanted to keep things as they were and didn’t want more commitment, and I thought I did.

Three months after that initial talk, we had what I have termed “The One Minute Break Up”. It literally took only 60 seconds to end the relationship. I was surprised and hurt. It happened so quickly, it took me awhile to realize we broke up! If I’m truly honest, I had expectations for something more and my emotions got in the way. I felt rejected and not wanted. The truth is, at the time, I couldn’t accept that we wanted different things.

Looking back, even though the way it ended wasn’t ideal, it was a blessing in disguise. I realized I wasn’t getting what I needed from the relationship. For the first time in my life, I put myself first and asked “What do I really want?” I started to reclaim myself and began making choices based on what brings me greater joy and freedom. Through the process, Woman UnRuled came to life. I am forever grateful. The phoenix always rises!

What I know for sure is that the next man I attract will be very different from the last — because I’ve changed and am a different woman. If you are suffering from heartbreak, don’t forget that things in life do happen for a reason, and always work out for the best.

For more rule breaking inspiration about relationships, check out Woman UnRuled: Empowering Articles for Women. HERE.

Ask For It.

Ask For It.

As a career and life-freedom coach, I often have people ask me for help when they are negotiating job offers. No matter what age and how much experience, I have found a common theme. Woman, no matter how confident and accomplished they are, have a tough time asking for what they want in a salary negotiation.

Here are recent examples of women I have worked with:

  • A 29 year old woman negotiating with a very cool, hip, fashion and lifestyle start-up
  • A woman in her 40’s negotiating for her dream job with an up and coming consumer products company
  • A highly experienced 50+ year old woman negotiating with a management consultant firm

Each of these three women is well educated, extremely smart, articulate, professional and accomplished in their own right. Before they got a formal offer, they did their homework on salary ranges and relative comps for the position they were seeking in their respective industries. Once they had a formal offer in hand, the salary offered was lower than what their research had shown.

I had a similar conversation with each woman even though their specific situation was unique to them. “Once you have an offer in hand, undoubtedly, this is your most powerful position during the interview process. Remember, They Want You – You are the Prize. Ask for What You Want. Ask for What You Are Worth. Ask for What You Deserve. If You Don’t Ask, You Won’t Know. Now, a caveat. I’m not suggesting you take out your Wonder Woman sword and go into battle. Think of your negotiation as a conversation. Be clear in your communication, connected and cordial.”

I’ve worked in executive search with hundreds of candidates. It’s been my experience, once a man enters into salary negotiations, he has no hesitation asking for the compensation he wants and thinks he deserves. So why is it difficult for a woman to ask for what she wants? I think most women, while growing up, aren’t taught to embrace their self worth, especially in a professional, career sense, like men are taught. Women feel apprehensive about negotiating because they don’t want to be seen as aggressive. As we all know, society and the media don’t know how to handle forceful women. Even with all the powerful, accomplished women in the world today, there’s still a long way to go.

Learning to negotiate and asking for what you want is a skill that any person, man, woman or child, can learn and perfect. You just need to try. It may be uncomfortable or even scary the first time you negotiate and ask for your value. If you get an answer that is less than optimal, pause. Perhaps, propose a creative solution that can work for you AND your soon to be employer. Once you understand the art of it and start getting the results you want, it will be smooth sailing ahead.

If you’d like to learn how to negotiation effectively in your career, I can help. Check out my coaching packages and sign up for your free 30 minute coaching session here.

What Do You Want More Of?

What Do You Want More Of?

Not “time at work”, that’s for sure. Multiple surveys say that when people are approaching the end of their lives, they rarely if ever regret not working more. A life well lived is about connection, nurturing relationships, enjoying what you do and making a difference for others and the world. And of course, having lots of FUN with the people you love!

This article, The 9 Most Common Regrets People Have at the End of Life, reminds me of my father. My dad was a man of integrity with a hearty laugh. He was a good friend, parent and husband. He also was a deacon of his church and a Rotarian involved in his community. He made it a priority to give back to people in need.

A little more than two weeks before he died, he was fighting cancer and in a hospital bed in his living room. My mom climbed into bed next to him. As they lay next to each other, out of the blue, dad said to her, “I wish I had had more sex”. Coming from him, that was a surprise! My mother, more than a bit shocked, said nothing but thought to herself, “you mean with me?”

My mom told me this story after my dad passed. It makes me laugh out loud every time I think of it. As I am writing this, I have a big smile on my face.

So: what is it that you want more of? If you know the answer, go get it! If you don’t, I can help you get clear. Together, we’ll go through a process I’ve developed to help you discover what you really want. The first step is to be grounded in who you are. This means having an honest understanding of your strengths, values, skills and passions. Once you are comfortable in your own skin, we’ll dive deeper to uncover what you truly want, and most importantly, the actions you’ll take to get it.

To sign up for a free 20 minute coaching session, click HERE. Life is Short. #NoRegrets. Let’s Go!