by Amy Matthews | Apr 16, 2021 | In-Power, Mindset |
I’ve had several conversations with clients this week who told me they are in a rut. They all want to move forward in an area of their lives yet they are struggling.
The specific reasons differ, but a common theme is they are judging themselves. They have thoughts like: I feel so stuck! This isn’t like me! Why am I not taking action? Why can she/he/they move forward and I can’t? Am I going to be like this forever? I am such a loser! If you feel at all this way, know you are not alone! We’ve all been there at some point in our lives.
Here’s a process to help you move through a rut:
1. Acknowledge you are feeling stuck.
Accept where you’re at and most importantly, have compassion for yourself! The moment you do, things will start to shift.
2. Begin to ask: Why do I feel this way?
Maybe you are exhausted. Or grieving. Or not connected with your purpose.Or really scared of change. Whatever your reason, give yourself some space and breathing room, as much as you need. Write down your thoughts or hit record while you’re out for a walk. Your intention is to get it all out of your head!
3. Consider the reasons staying stuck serves you.
The truth is, there is always a reason! Perhaps staying where you’re at is comfortable and safe, even though you may feel miserable most of the time. This may be an aha moment. Jot down your answers!
4. Then ask: Am I more committed to staying stuck or getting unstuck?
Be clear and honest with yourself in the moment. Your answer will give you information. Depending upon your situation, you may not be ready to move forward and that’s okay. Timing is everything.
5. Once you are ready and committed to moving forward, ask this:
What reoccurring belief is keeping me from what I want? It could be something like: What if I fail? What if I get rejected? What will people think of me? Who am I to think I can be or have that?
When we move out of our comfort zone, limiting beliefs always pop up, especially, when we decide to go after what we want most. The truth is, these beliefs holding us hostage are never true! It’s our job to bust through them and get to the other side, where our abundant life awaits.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 8, 2021 | In-Power, Mindset |
I was talking with a potential client early this week. She reached out because she wanted help figuring out what to work on to feel more comfortable at work. She’s smart, strategic and a high performer, as most of my clients are.
As we started to dig into her situation, I learned she works at an entrepreneurial company within a small team and the only female. It quickly became clear she needed help expressing her desires to her boss. She wanted more involvement in strategic projects and have her boss mentor her. Both fair requests. She knew what she wanted but was looking for the right words, something I help my clients with all the time.
We talked about how men and women communicate differently, how to have an intention for every conversation and how to be succinct and direct (just say it). She was clear on what to say yet she was holding back from saying it. She started questioning and doubting herself and had these all too familiar thoughts swirling in her head:
Can I ask for what I want?
How will I be perceived?
What if he says NO?
What if come across as too aggressive?
Then she recalled this story:
When she was applying for one of her first jobs, she asked a male friend for feedback on her cover letter. He dissected it, took out paragraphs that were fillers and helped her get to the point. Then he said to her: CHANNEL YOUR INNER WHITE MAN.
That got my attention. I get that phrase may be offensive to some, yet it works for this particular client. The truth is, we all identify with words that make us feel more powerful and confident. What words work for you? Here are a few ideas to get the party started:
CHANNEL YOUR INNER BADASS
CHANNEL YOUR INNER GODDESS
CHANNEL YOUR INNER WARRIOR
CHANNEL YOUR INNER SUPER HERO
If we all channeled a more confident and direct version of ourselves, asked for what we wanted, while not taking things personally, we would be powerful beyond measure.
To get the results you want from your next strategic conversation, channel your inner fill in the blank. Try it, it works.
by Amy Matthews | Jan 26, 2021 | Business, In-Power |
You’ve heard me say this A LOT.
Standing in our truth is essential for living an authentic + purpose-driven life.
I have helped loads of professionals gain clarity on what they want to say and how to say it, whether it be to a boss, employee, client, colleague, romantic partner, or friend. Knowing our truth is one thing, yet, knowing when to express it, is another.
I remember years ago when I was just learning to my truth, I got clear on what was true for me and drummed up the courage to express what I was feeling to a man I was dating. Truth be told, what came out of my mouth wasn’t pretty. It was messy.
Communication is an art and it takes practice.
Communicating your truth will give you greater power and freedom in your life, yet just because you have an urge to share, think about whether what you want to say will land with the other person. Will the other person be able to hear you? Will it bring you closer or farther apart? What is your reason for sharing?
Here are simple and proven communication strategies for any conversation:
1. Know what you want to say
2. Keep it simple
3. Be confident in your point of view
4. Speak from your heart with compassion
5. Be present and listen
6. Look for synergistic outcomes
If you’ve been putting off the “promotion” conversation with your boss, or the “relationship” conversation or something else is top of mind, book your free Communication Clarity Call with me here. In just 30 minutes, you’ll have a solution to what’s eating at you.
Stand in Your Truth
by Amy Matthews | Jan 13, 2021 | In-Power, Mindset |
I was walking my dog, Pie, the day all hell broke loose in the Capital. Though it was raining, she needed to get outside and truth be told, I needed a break from the chaos. It was an unnerving day for all.
While on our walk, I encountered a man with a St. Bernard. We stopped to chat and let our dogs say hello. Pie, who weighs a mere 18 pounds, began to stare down the St Bernard from eight feet away, who my guess, weighs 110-120 pounds.
Then the play began. Pie held her own with this HUGE dog. She wasn’t intimidated, she wasn’t fearful, she didn’t feel threatened. She didn’t acquiesce to a dog that weighed 5 times what she weighs. NO WAY! She exuded confidence, determination persistence, and joy.
Then the man said, “She owns her power. AND she’s happy.” I laughed. He nailed it or better yet, he nailed who she is. It was the perfect exchange while processing the monumental events of the day.
There will always be people who think they are “bigger” than us. We all have encountered a bully or two in our lifetime, whether it be a CEO, a boss, a family member, a friend or a president. Here’s the thing: we get to decide whether we acquiesce. Those who abuse their power and mistreat others lack self-esteem, confidence and are not happy. Nuff said.
Own your power and be happy.
by Amy Matthews | Dec 23, 2020 | In-Power, Inspiration |
I was standing in line yesterday at a cafe to pick up a to-go order. A woman ahead of me, exclaimed: “I can’t wait until 2020 is over!” A familiar sentiment I have heard so often since last spring.
Our limits have been tested. It’s been a year of growth for each and every one of us.
Initially, we focused on what we didn’t have, couldn’t do, and didn’t like. We felt a myriad of emotions – sad, pissed, frustrated, and scared. Yet, as the year progressed, we started to accept our circumstances. We became more flexible, adaptable, and resilient. Less set in our ways, less married to our own point of view. We became more receptive and opened up to new possibilities and opportunities. Found joy and gratitude in the simple things. And, many went deeper within to consider what wasn’t working in their lives and found the courage to make necessary changes that support their ultimate happiness.
The truth is, there has been a lot of loss and pain while at the same time, so much has been accomplished too.
I have clients who have been promoted, one who adopted a baby, several who created new businesses, built their brands, websites launched, funding secured, and had their best year ever. Others who have moved across the country, or bought new homes. I have other clients who have let go of perfectionism and overdoing and stepped into their most authentic and confident selves.
Take five minutes to ponder these three questions and write down your answers:
What are the positive outcomes from this year?
What have you accomplished this year?
What are you most proud of?
Wishing you a relaxing, heart-filled, and joyful holiday season!
by Amy Matthews | Nov 10, 2020 | In-Power |
It’s been a monumental few days. Many of us are feeling exhausted, elated, or a combination of both. I have to say, I had a BIG sigh of relief after hearing Biden won the election. I am feeling hopeful again.
Yet, others are feeling despair.
It’s hard to ignore when 50% of our country has an opposing view of our own. It’s a wake-up call. To put it in perspective, what if 50% of your company, team, family, non-profit or other organization you’re involved with, had a drastically different view than your own? What if half of all the people you came into contact with on a daily basis – at the grocery store or on a zoom call – held different beliefs and opinions?
Even though we may want to, we can’t make the other side or person wrong.
Whether you have an opposing political opinion or see things differently than your boss, partner or friend, in every conversation and interaction, do your best to:
1. Accept, not reject, opposing views and feelings
2. Be open, curious, and receptive
3. Respect, be humble and kind
Getting on the same page may be A LOT to ask of us right now – but we can try.
Let’s lead the way forward.
To realize our full potential, it’s imperative to step fully into our confidence, define our authentic leadership style, be clear about our purpose and take aligned action so we can have the greatest impact within our companies we serve.
Learn more about how to achieve this through my LIMITLESS Leadership Training Program here.
