by Amy Matthews | Sep 24, 2020 | Blog, In-Power, Inspiration |
We all have created stories about our experiences, some of which are true, others not. Here are two stories I’d like to share:
One of my clients struggled to learn how to read as a child so he grew up thinking he wasn’t smart. Fast forward, he went to Columbia, got his MBA from Stanford and graduated top of his class. It didn’t dawn on him he was super smart until years later when a CEO who he worked for, told him was. He was 38 years old.
Another client wasn’t asked to her senior prom so she thought men didn’t find her attractive and didn’t want her. Though she had several long term relationships and eventually married, when we began working together, she held that same belief.
To nip a Limiting Belief in the bud, try this simple exercise:
Grab a pen and paper. Write down answers to these 3 questions:
1.What is your top limiting belief or reoccurring thought that drains your energy?
2. On the left side of the page write down all the reasons it’s true. On the right, the reasons it isn’t. Hint: the right side always wins 🙂
Why It’s True Why It Isn’t True
3.What new belief are you replacing it with?
There’s no better time to remove beliefs that aren’t true. Take off the Shackles and create new ones that support your happiness, freedom, and success.
by Amy Matthews | Sep 22, 2020 | Blog, In-Power, Inspiration |
Ruth Bader Ginsberg paved the way for equality and justice for all. She had such a huge impact on our lives, it’s hard to fathom she’s gone.
RGB often quoted Justice Louis Brandeis’ famous line:
“The greatest menace to freedom is an inert people.”
So what do we do when we lose a trailblazer, an icon, and our role model?
We empower ourselves to speak up and share our point of view.
We take action towards what we believe in.
We fight for what we care about.
And, as RBG said, we do it in such a way, that will lead others to join us.
We all have the capacity to make an impact – whether big or small. I’ve talked to many people who feel powerless and want to know what they can do.
Here are four things to do right now to make a difference:
1. Contribute money – especially to flip the Senate, every bit helps
2. Talk to a family member or golfing buddy about racial injustice
3. Talk to your friend who hasn’t decided who to vote for
4. Initiate a conversation with your colleague about intrinsic bias
Drum up the courage. Have uncomfortable conversations.
Be willing to go where you haven’t before.
While being curious, inquisitive, and open.
Be THE Example. Let’s make Ruth proud of us.
by Amy Matthews | Aug 28, 2020 | In-Power, Mindset |
I am disheartened by the divisiveness in our country.
It’s as if we live in two different worlds. After watching the DNC last week and the RNC this week, it’s never been more clear to me. It’s uncanny to see the juxtaposition between the two messages – one of unification and inclusion and the other of divisiveness and fear.
If you are feeling rage, sadness, or fear, believe me – you are not alone.
So I’ve been asking myself this question:
What am I going to do about it?
I have options, as we all do. I can stand in distraction and paralysis. I can stand in hope. Or, I can put my courage badge on, speak my truth, and stand in action – until the day of the election.
Years ago, I led a business development team that sold technology solutions to new emerging telecommunication providers. It was an entrepreneurial endeavor and we developed relationships with every single potential client. We listened, we built trust, we proposed solutions, we overcame objections. What all experienced sales people do. We moved mountains to win business so no matter the outcome, we wouldn’t look back and say if only we had done xyz to win the business. Then and now, my philosophy is the same – #NoRegrets.
Hope is not a strategy. If we stand for what we believe in, take action and give it our all, we can shape the course of history. We can influence the election based on what we do today, tomorrow and the next day.
If you are ready to get into action and don’t know how, hit reply, I’ve got ideas.
by Amy Matthews | Aug 12, 2020 | In-Power, Mindset |
As humans, we will do anything in our power to avoid change. We like comfortable and predictable. Many of us are willing to put up with a ton of pain – whether it be physical, mental, or emotional – before we choose to change.
Why? Because change is hard to do. Change takes effort. Change takes sweat. Change requires a deep level of commitment. The secret to change is being more committed to the future than the past or present.
You say you want to lose 10 pounds, it’s up to you
You say you want to increase your revenues two-fold, it’s up to you
You say you want to find your dream job, it’s up to you
You say you want to develop your leadership skills, it’s up to you
You say you want to find your soulmate, it’s up to you
You say you want to be happier, it’s up to you
You say you want to stop worrying about the future, it’s up to you
If only you could wave a magic wand and get exactly what you want. The truth is, no one can do it for you but you don’t have to do it alone. Find a therapist or a healer, hire a relationship/dating coach or work with me as your business and leadership consultant. Set yourself up for success by creating a support team around you that can help you get the results you want.
Once you choose to be more than you think and decide to not go it alone, that’s when real change happens.
by Amy Matthews | Jul 14, 2020 | In-Power, Mindset |
I went for a long hike with a friend over the weekend, one of the things that keeps me sane. We talked about the ways people are struggling and the emotions they are feeling – fear, sadness, anxiety, depression, and vulnerability. All the things that I’ve been writing and coaching about since the pandemic hit.
It’s hard to feel these feelings. I certainly have had to grapple with my own share.
Earlier this week, I went back and read all the newsletters I’ve written. I came across one dated October 2017. Here’s an excerpt from it:
Many of us are feeling overwhelmed these days because there is so much uncertainty in the world. Fear and anxiety are at an all-time high. We’ve had so much destruction in such a short period of time – the multiple hurricanes, the Las Vegas shooting, the Northern California fires. People are walking on eggshells, wondering when the next shoe is going to drop. When so much is happening, it’s difficult to feel inspired and to stay focused on what you want to create in your life.
W H O A.
The light bulb went on. We’ve been in a state of duress for a V E R Y long time.
Predictability used to made us feel safe. If you’ve lost your footing, you are not alone. So what do we do?
We cook up a smorgasbord of compassion for ourselves, partners, friends, family, essential workers, pets, colleagues, and our community. We fill up on thoughts that make us feel centered and calm. We fill up on the people and things in our lives that nurture us. We fill up on what inspires us.
Feed yourself until your stomach is full. Once you fill up, you will find the clarity, conviction, confidence to create what’s next in your life.
by Amy Matthews | Jul 14, 2020 | In-Power, Mindset |
I’ve been working on Radical Acceptance for the last few weeks.
It’s natural to reject what is happening in our lives if it’s not something we like. Our brains are programmed to do so. We push it away, get angry, frustrated, ‘pull a nutty’ or run for the hills. We question why, we deny, we manipulate, we negotiate. We’ll try anything before we accept.
Here are a few real struggles that my clients and friends are facing right now:
Yet ANOTHER project dumped in her lap
Leadership not listening
24/7 with spouse/partner/family
The loss of a parent
You want different things
Noise and distraction of construction (that’s mine!)
Lack of ‘breathing room’
“Independent young adults” living at home
The guy you were dating dissed you
It’s not easy to accept the current reality. It’s a process. Yet, it takes a lot more energy to resist than accept. Resisting is like a power struggle with yourself and never a win win. When I push away or reject what’s happening in the moment, it’s usually because I’m feeling vulnerable, misunderstood or not heard. How about you?
Feel your feelings. Once you do, you get to decide whether to turn your thoughts towards accepting OR keep rejecting reality. Decide what you’re committed to and let that propel you forward.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world” ~ Mathatma Ghandi
