by Amy Matthews | Nov 20, 2019 | In-Power, Inspiration |
I recently went for a walk with a dear friend of mine. She said this to me:
“One of your best qualities is that you are loyal. Then she said, it’s also a hindrance.”
Her comment got me thinking. When does being loyal become too loyal?
We were raised to be loyal and loyalty comes in many forms. We can be committed to an idea, a belief, a person, a brand, a community, a company, a boss or a family tradition. Loyalty becomes a fault when it hurts us or doesn’t have the “juice” it once did or no longer is aligned with who we are now. Being too loyal can keep us hanging on to a person, an idea or a notion that is in past time.
It’s often loyalty that prevents us from change and opening up to something new.
I am not advocating throwing out the baby with the bathwater. What I am suggesting is to ponder these questions:
What are you committed to that doesn’t light you up?
What beliefs do you have that are out of date?
What relationships don’t make you feel good?
Who or what is getting in the way of your progress?
Give yourself permission to let go of what no longer serves you. Be open and receptive to bringing more of what resonates into your life.
Give Yourself Permission Quote Box
by Amy Matthews | Oct 29, 2019 | In-Power, Inspiration |
I live in Northern California where the fires are raging in both parts of the state. Over 200,000 people have been evacuated and many homes and structures lost. I am one of the lucky ones along with my family and friends. We are without power so we don’t have the daily conveniences that we are accustomed to. I count my lucky stars, it could be so much worse.
I had a few conversations yesterday about “Not Knowing”.
One was with a potential client who is in career transition and looking for a new job. She is breaking into a new industry and she said it’s hard not to worry or ruminate. Then she said, the worst part is not knowing.
Next, I was at a charging station, recharging my phone and computer. One of the beauties of a power outage is you meet all kinds of people you wouldn’t normally meet.
So I decided to ask the question: what’s the worst thing about the power outage?
The first person said, “It’s not knowing”.
Not knowing when power will be restored
Not knowing when you’ll be able to get online
Not knowing when you’ll get your next hot shower
The fear in the air was overwhelming.
When things aren’t as they usually are, when conveniences are taken away or you’re moving out of your comfort zone to do something new – it’s natural for fear, anxiety, worry, or frustration to creep in. Instead of absorbing yourself in worry, think about what you are learning or gaining from the situation. I know, it’s easier said than done. But try.
No matter if you’re breaking into a new industry, creating a business or dealing with a state of emergency, we can either look our fear in the face or let if run us. We have a choice in the matter. We get to decide.
What are you choosing today?
If fear is getting in your way, book a 45 min Clarity call with me here.
by Amy Matthews | Oct 22, 2019 | Business, In-Power, Inspiration, Mindset |
I have always sought out a coach or consultant when I wanted to get better, learn something or get somewhere. Personal trainers, therapists, healers, career coach, speaking coach, branding strategist, business gurus, marketing consultants – you name it. All of these experts are a type of coach and they have all helped me get to where I am today.
So many of us don’t ask for help. We poo poo the idea, or the cost, or the time. We run away from our feelings, we stay stuck in our analytical minds. We waste time and don’t go anywhere. I think it’s because for some of us, the idea of being and having whatever we want is – scary.
The truth is, the happiest and most successful people work with someone (or someones) to help them cut through the muck, get out of their own way and move to the next level.
The truth is, you can’t depend on your husband, wife, partner, friend to be your coach.
When you want to get into shape, you hire a personal trainer. When you want to understand your childhood and family background, you hire a therapist. When you want to resolve conflict in your relationship, you hire a couples therapist.
And:
When you need a strategy and plan for your life, you hire me
When you need to map out your business idea, you hire me
When you want to grow your business, you hire me
When you want to figure out what you want to do when you grow up, you hire me
When you want to fast track your career, you hire me
When you want to make more money, you hire me
When you want to become a better leader, you hire me
When you want to improve your communication skills, you hire me
When you want to embrace all that you are and be a total badass, you hire me
WE all need help. It starts with asking for it.
What would you like more of? Book your 45 min Clarity call with me here.
by Amy Matthews | Oct 15, 2019 | In-Power |
Blame – it’s always a no-win situation.
Our culture thrives on blame. Companies blame, politicians blame, and we blame our partners, spouses, colleagues, parents, kids, friends – every day – for what they did or didn’t do. When something goes wrong, we like to have a reason why it happened. We point the finger, we pass the buck.
It’s easier to blame another than to accept responsibility.
I love this Katherine Hepburn quote:
“We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers — but never blame yourself. It’s never your fault. But it’s always your fault because if you wanted to change you’re the one who has got to change.”
No one likes to be blamed or accused. It hurts. It makes you feel misunderstood and creates negative emotions which always lead to not feeling good about yourself.
The next time something happens that you don’t like, before you play the blame game, ask yourself these questions:
Am I judging the situation or person?
What part did I play in this?
What can I learn from the situation?
How can this turn into a win-win?
It takes courage to admit you are wrong or that you contributed to a situation. It takes courage to own your ugly. When you blame, you give away your power. True power is taking radical responsibility for your actions AND having radical self-acceptance – at the same time.
by Amy Matthews | Sep 27, 2019 | In-Power |
I’ve had many conversations with high performing, ambitious woman lately. An owner of a successful financial services company, a serial entrepreneur, a founder of a start-up – all who declared to me: “I need to get my power back.” If this resonates, keep on reading.
It’s easy to give our power away because we care deeply. We’ve all been in situations where we have put our happiness and power in other people’s hands. Truth be told, many of us give our power away all day long to employees, bosses, partners, kids, friends and anyone else that comes our way.
Here are 5 quick tips to get back on track when you feel you’ve given your power away:
1. If you’re depleted from overdoing and taking care of others, pull back and tend to you own needs. Keep some energy for you – always
2. Watch your fearful thoughts – fear is the main culprit of losing our power. Rein in your negative thought and replace it with two positive ones
3. Honor who you are – your authentic, imperfect, sometimes messy self. Rid yourself of any shame, guilt and self judgment on past actions – it’s not fair to you
4. Whatever the situation, see the truth in it rather than resist it. Once you do, you’ll be clear on the next steps to take
5. Be true to your values and what you believe in – no matter what
Any of these will help things shift. Getting your power back can be as easy as giving if away – if you let it. Take your power back and become your most limitless self.
“When you take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, you get your power back.” – Unknown
by Amy Matthews | Aug 27, 2019 | In-Power |
We create most of the obstacles that are in our way.
A wise coach and healer I worked with some time ago said this:
If you say you want something and don’t have it, your desire to not have it is greater than your desire to have it.
Provocative, right?
We’ve been taught to fight obstacles, to attack them, to tackle them, to combat them, to defeat them. We put a ton of energy into them. We focus, we analyze, we strategize, we struggle, we analyze again. It’s as if we are at war with ourselves. It’s exhausting.
Mental traps that get in our way are limiting beliefs and thoughts, self doubt and negative self talk, mega fear and anxiety, addiction to distractions, procrastination and perfectionism.
What if instead of getting into a mental and emotional tizzy and battling it out, you put all your energy into creating what you really want?
Ask yourself these 3 questions:
What obstacles do I create?
Why do I?
How much do I really “want what I say I want?”
You can have anything you want but it takes clarity, confidence, conviction, commitment and a whole lot of action. And an unwavering trust and faith in yourself.
Use your mental and emotional energy – wisely. You got this.
