by Amy Matthews | Apr 24, 2018 | Inspiration |
Do you constantly berate yourself or compare yourself to others? Is it difficult for you to love yourself? There’s no better day than today to begin the process of truly loving who you are.
Why? Because you are a FIERCE and AWE-INSPIRING being!
An amazing woman, inside and out, with unique skills, talents and passions. No other woman is exactly like you on the planet. Truly.
Plus, you won’t be comfortable in your own skin and trust your decisions until you love you for all that you are.
And, how can you expect anyone else to love you if you don’t genuinely love yourself?
Today and everyday, speak to yourself kindly. Say to yourself you are the bees knees, the coolest cat, a gorgeous babe, a smart, capable, delectable, wonder woman with sprinkles on top!
Be your best friend. Be the best mother to yourself you could ever imagine. I know you pour so much love out into the world: now harness it and direct it back to YOU!
Fall in Love with Yourself. Write a list of all the things that you love about You.
LOVE YOURSELF UP.
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by Amy Matthews | Apr 6, 2018 | Inspiration |
As women, many of us have difficulty prioritizing our own needs. It’s not surprising. The truth is, we’re culturally programmed to take care of others first. We can go through our entire lives without ever considering our own needs and wants. Whenever I ask a coaching client, “What Do You Need?, I often get a “deer in the headlights” response.
Here’s a story about a client of mine:
She recently accepted a new job with a well known financial services company. She’s a single mom and for several years, had been working for a family run business. The owner was demanding and expected her to be available on weekends at his beck and call. He wasn’t nice, lacked social intelligence and when he was in the office, she was on pins and needles. Not Fun.
One day, much to her surprise, she was put on a 90 day improvement plan. This highly competent woman had been told she was doing a very good job. To say the least, the news was puzzling – and threatening.
Smart woman that she is, she began looking for another job and within weeks, she was offered a position with better pay, vacation and benefits. Yay! When she gave notice to her current employer, again, much to her surprise, they countered and asked her to stay. They told her “They Needed Her”. Those three words were the hook.
She was torn and was deliberating over whether to stay or go. All her life, she chose to do things because she was needed. When I asked her Why, she said, being needed was a role she was familiar with and good at. We talked about how she’d been conditioned to put the needs of others first at the expense of understanding her own.
This is what I said to her:
You can choose to create a stable future for yourself or continue working for a boss that doesn’t respect you and treats you poorly. It’s not easy to change a life long pattern. Be kind to yourself. The more you make choices that support you, the better you’ll get at it.
At some point, we’ve all been in her shoes. We’ve all made choices that are not in our best interest. We’ve all put the needs of others before our own. We’ve all made choices that don’t support what we need and really want.
It’s Time to Uncover and Understand what You Need and Want.
t’s Time to Make Choices that Support You.
It’s Time to #BreakFree and Live the Life You’ve Always Imagined.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 26, 2018 | Inspiration |
I attended the Wisdom 2.0 conference in San Francisco this past weekend. It was an inspiring, lively event with over 3000 people. Without a doubt, mindfulness has gone mainstream! The diverse line up of speakers was amazing. By far, my favorite speaker and who inspired me the most, was Tarana Burke, the founder of #MeToo.
Tarana is beyond awesome. She is smart, strong, dedicated, fierce, compassionate, committed and articulate. For over 20 years, she’s dedicated her life, day in and day out, to supporting black and brown women survivors of sexual abuse and harassment.
Tarana is what I call a Badass and a Woman UnRuled.
When the #MeToo movement went viral, Tarana’s initial concern was that her life’s work would be taken away from her and misunderstood by the media. Tarana makes it clear that the movement is about supporting and empowering women by giving them the tools to heal from abuse. It’s NOT about taking down powerful men.
Tarana wasn’t seeking the limelight. Now that she’s in it, she knows it’s an enormous responsibility. She is determined to keep her work strategic and pure and is leading this effort with the utmost level of integrity and care.
After Tarana spoke and received a standing ovation, I was compelled to ask:
“What am I most moved by?”
I’ve know for some time. I’m passionate and committed to inspiring and empowering others AND myself to find greater freedom and joy – and reach the highest potential of success.
Question for you. What are you most moved by?
Maybe it’s your work, your family, your children, your own self healing or a cause you’re dedicated to. Or your community or your art. If you’re not sure, don’t fret. Just start asking yourself the question. Tune in. In time, it will become clear to you.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 5, 2018 | Inspiration, Mindset |
I am single, never married and don’t have kids.There is no way at age 25 that I could have imagined my life as it is now.
I was living in San Francisco, in my first sales job, beginning to make money and prove myself to myself and the world. I always thought I’d “settle down”, get hitched, have babies and live in the ‘burbs. I recall saying to my sister that I was just playing a role until the next stage of my life.
Funny how life is.
At the time, I had a boyfriend. We dated for 2 years and broke up when I was 27. It was a mutual split, but difficult nonetheless, as most breakups are. After we parted, he wrote me a letter and said, “Amy, please love yourself more”. I sobbed when I read it. Whoa. He nailed it.
That break up put me on a growth trajectory. I’m one of the “phoenix always rises” types. I changed jobs and moved to a new company. I built a new vertical market and became highly visible within said company. I worked my ass off, traveled non-fucking-stop, rose up the ranks and generally, let the job consume my every waking hour. Don’t get me wrong, it was a career highlight and the opportunity of a lifetime. I have many hilarious memories and enduring friendships from that period in my life.
And then, a gregarious, handsome, full-of-life Italian, who grew up in Florence, asked me out. The morning after our first date, when I walked into the office, my friend asked point-blank: “Did you sleep with him?” I said, “No, but I’m going to be with him for a long time.”
We were together almost 7 years.
He opened my heart and we loved each other deeply.
6 years into the relationship, a friend told me he was going to propose on our upcoming trip to Italy. After planning the trip and arriving in Tuscany during peak season, my guy, the Italian, forgot the itinerary. This was before the internet, so he had no record of our reservations. We were in San Gimignano, charming and very crowded — with no place to sleep.
Are
you
fucking
kidding me?
I get that he could have been nervous. Or preoccupied. When our plans went awry – or better said, when we no longer had any, perhaps we both saw it as a sign from the universe. We weren’t meant to be. We did make the best of the trip, creating a new adventure which I took in my hands to arrange. Truth be told, I always had a nagging feeling I couldn’t depend on him. So at this point, our relationship started to unravel. I felt there were too many cultural and lifestyle differences to build a long term life together.
A few months after we broke up, he came over to ask me if I wanted to have a baby with him. I said no. Believe me, I had no clue that was my chance! I could have had a baby on my own, of course, but I ultimately decided against that too. Looking back, my life could have expanded in so many different ways if I had said YES to a child. Lesson noted.
Although, things do happen for a reason. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
Since then, I’ve had several romantic relationships. I consider myself lucky in love. Each relationship has helped me grow into who I am. I’ve been on my path – a path of self discovery, empowerment, inspiration, learning and connection. I’ve created my life, every single inch of it.
All the choices I’ve made and everything I’ve done have led me to where I am now. I am comfortable in my own skin. I love myself. I love what I do. I love my life. I count my lucky stars everyday.
Also, you may know, I am a proud mama to the most adorable, 10 week old mini Goldendoodle! And, yes – I am ready to meet my guy.
You just gotta believe and have faith.
Join me for a 7 Day #BreakFree Challenge to bring greater freedom into your life. It’s Free. I’ll give you one specific action step each day for a full week. In just seven days, you’ll feel more empowered, energized, and inspired! That’s a promise. Join here. womanunruled.pages.ontraport.net/breakfree
by Amy Matthews | Jan 30, 2018 | Inspiration, Mindset |
Life is Right. I love this saying. It is so spot on. It’s easy to reject what’s happening in our lives if it’s not something we like. We question why it’s happening and deny that it is. It’s natural to push away what we don’t like, but often our reaction causes us more pain than what happened in the first place.
What if you had radical acceptance of what is? It can be as simple as accepting a trait of a loved one that drives you crazy, or the unkind words your boss said to you. Can you learn to say YES to whatever is happening in the moment? To all the yummy stuff and the not so yummy stuff.
All of us have experienced some of the not so yummy stuff: perhaps you had an early trauma, were let go from a job, or ended a committed relationship. Maybe you were betrayed, or are very ill, or lost a loved one or your life savings. No doubt, these situations are excruciatingly stressful, painful and life changing.
And yet, each time you are dealt a difficult experience, you also have a choice on how you move forward.
Going through a challenging time is an opportunity to feel the pain, grieve, and when you are ready, allow the situation to propel you forward on your life path. At first, spending time under the covers may be a good idea, but at some point, you need to get up, dust yourself off and start creating the new. All you can do is learn from the situation and most importantly, be gentle and compassionate with yourself.
Once you truly accept what is, you will wake up one day and know you’re on the other side. Life circumstances and the choices you make will get you to the right place. You just need to trust and wholeheartedly believe it. Life sometimes brings us lemons and we can choose to make sweet, luscious, liquid nectar out of it. Life is ease-y, life is right.
If you’ve experienced a loss and are grieving, have you ever considered working with a coach? I may be the right one for you. Sign up for your free 20 minute coaching session HERE.
by Amy Matthews | Jan 23, 2018 | Inspiration |
I am now a proud mama of a 8 week old, mini goldendoodle! Within minutes of seeing her, I fell deeply in love. It’s been 1 week and my life has changed forever.
I wasn’t planning on getting a puppy. I wasn’t prepared. It wasn’t on my list of 2018 intentions. For years I wanted a dog but was looking to adopt since there are so many who need a loving home. But truth be told, my heart was set on a cute dog and I couldn’t find one at a shelter. Or maybe I didn’t look enough. So I got busy with life and building my business and put getting a dog on the back burner.
Here’s what happened next:
My sister called and said her friend had put a deposit down on a puppy for her mother and it no longer made sense. Her friend put me in touch with the breeder and I talked to her on Saturday. She told me the available puppy would most likely be a boy and I knew I wanted a girl. The next day, Sunday, was puppy pick up day. The breeder said she would call/text me by 12pm if there was an available girl.
I freaked a bit… if a girl puppy was available, was I going to go for it? I came up with many excuses why it wasn’t a good idea.
“I’m not ready for a puppy!” “It’s not a top priority!” “It’s too much work!” “I need to stay focused on my business!” “How can I do this with only 24 hour notice!” “I don’t even have a crate!“
After a short mental tantrum, at that very moment, I made a decision. If a girl became available, it was meant to be. Sometimes in life you need to say YES even when it’s inconvenient. Or unplanned. Or you’re not ready. The truth is when an opportunity presents itself to you, you can freak out and get anxious about the very thing you’ve wanted most.
The next day, I got the call and drove two hours to pick up my new little girl! Please meet Pie, my 4 legged bundle of joy.
Here’s a quote by Hugh Laurie that says it all:
“It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There’s almost no such thing as ready. There’s only now. And you may as well do it now. I mean, I say that confidently as if I’m about to go bungee jumping or something – I’m not. I’m not a crazed risk taker. But I do think that, generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.”
Is there something you’ve always wanted but you’ve pushed away because you say you’re not ready or the timing isn’t right? I bet there is. Perhaps it’s looking for your dream job, or starting a new relationship, or possibly ending one, or launching your own business. Or maybe it’s volunteering for a cause you deeply care about or taking that art class you’ve talked about or adopting a 4 legged, love bug that changes your life forever. What is it for YOU?
Whatever it is, say YES to it. Proceed forward. The time is NOW.
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