by Amy Matthews | Mar 18, 2021 | Inspiration, Mindset |
When something surprises us or happens that we don’t like, our gut reaction is to reject it, judge it or go into victim mode around it. We try to make sense of it, understand why it’s happening and our emotions go into overdrive.
When you invest time and energy into something that doesn’t work out, it sucks. Here’s a story I want to share:
Earlier in my career, after climbing the corporate ladder, I joined a 30 person, tech start-up as VP of Sales. During my first interview with the CEO, we instantly hit it off and I was super excited when I received an offer to join the company.
I started the job on a Monday and by Friday, I realized I had made a terrible mistake. I mean a BIG one. The CEO was 30, super smart, had a big ego and was inexperienced. That I knew before I accepted the position. What I didn’t know was that he was a control freak and wanted to monitor my every move, and every person in the company. Not exactly my cup of tea.
Instead of accepting that I made the wrong choice and quitting, I resisted the situation. I fought the truth. I said to myself, I can make it work! Yikes, was I wrong. The situation only got worse. I stuck it out for a few more months but I was beyond stressed and miserable every single day. By the time I left the company, I was a big, hot, disempowered mess.
It took me awhile to learn that no person, relationship, job or organization was worth putting ahead of my own personal happiness. If I had the wisdom I do today, I would have cut my losses, learned from the situation and not looked back.
Ride the horse in the direction it’s going. Don’t resist. If the horse is going where you don’t want to go, change direction. Decide where you want to go next, take the reins and enjoy the ride.
by Amy Matthews | Mar 9, 2021 | Business, Inspiration |
Whatever You Want is one of my inspirations for what I do.
My clients see this written on a huge, painted chalkboard that I have behind my office desk. I took this photograph over six years ago when I was at Frenchies, the amazing restaurant in Paris. If you haven’t been, it’s a must. I mean, you got to go. There is a Frenchies in London too. Either will rock your world.
One of my greatest joys is witnessing clients, teams, friends, family – you name it – get the results they want. If you set an intention, get clear on your authentic strengths and super powers, get into consistent action, stay open to possibilities that you hadn’t dreamed of and allow the magic to unfold, you will get whatever it is you want. The process works every time.
I have helped countless clients:
Find their dream job
Get the promotion
Develop a new business
Expand the vision of their brand
Increase income
Gain leadership visibility
Secure investors
Find business partners
Create soul level partnerships
Communicate powerfully
Feel grace and ease on a daily basis
What one thing do you want right now that if you had it, would rock your world? If you can dream it, you can have it.
I can help you get it. It’s just what I do.
Sign up for a free 45 minute clarity call with me here.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 18, 2021 | Inspiration, Mindset |
With so many things out of our hands these days – whether it’s COVID, a job falling through the cracks, a re-org, a health scare, unprecedented weather in Texas, a house falling out of contract – whatever it may be – the unexpected is the new black.
When things happen that come out of left field, it’s easy to jump to the worst case scenario. Here are a few good reminders for when “Unexpected” happens:
1. Before getting your panties in a bundle, take a time out.
Rein in your mind. Switch your fearful thoughts to thoughts about the best case scenario instead. Stay present to the situation, no matter how difficult it is.
2. Get advice.
People at their core want to help. Reach out and be willing to receive! Find someone who can give you the expertise or wisdom you need in the moment.
3. Try not to play the pity party card.
The truth is, shit happens in life – all the time. You are not alone. If you can embrace that, you will feel grateful and connect with what’s most important to you.
4. A positive attitude, always wins.
Having a positive attitude and not flexing your worry muscle can make most situations turn for the better. It’s not always easy, I know.
5. Learn and grow from the experience.
Whatever the situation and whatever the outcome, decide to grow from it. You can let the experience make you resentful or it can fuel you to be your best. Choose your best.
by Amy Matthews | Dec 30, 2020 | Inspiration, Mindset |
As we move into 2021, there is hope on the horizon, optimism in the air, and a glimpse of a brighter future. Though we aren’t out of the weeds yet and it won’t be all sunshine and rainbows, one thing is for sure. The new year will be better than the last.
It’s a powerful time to think about what we want to create and bring into our lives in the coming year.
It’s time to get intentional.
When I first start working with a new client, I ask them to create an intention for working together. If the goal is to find a new position, I want them to think about how they want to feel in the new role. Their intention can look something like this:
I am utilizing my superpowers at a company/brand that I deeply resonate with and love. My boss is awesome and I am valued for my contribution. My role is a perfect fit for me and I landed exactly where I’m supposed to be. I am getting the time with my family that I hold so dear and I feel energized, joyful, and am creating community.
Or if the goal is to get promoted into a leadership position, their intention looks something like this:
I wake up every day energized and excited to start my day. I show up authentically and no longer doubt myself and my actions. I speak up for what I believe in, stand for my team, and am confident in my leadership style. I feel a sense of ease in my life that I haven’t felt before.
No matter your goal, whether it’s around work, finding love or creating more abundance in your life, taking the time to write out the details allows you to be honest with yourself about what you truly want. Once you have it down on paper, open up to it. Believe wholeheartedly in it and allow the universe to answer you. Create a strategy, get into action and when it arrives, have the confidence to say YES.
Life is what you dream up.
As the new year begins, wishing you joy, ease, and magic.
Joy is imperative, especially now.
Joy gives us strength, energy, and stamina for what we need to do in the world.
To reconnect with YOUR joy, join me on the Eat the Brownie Challenge. Take an 8-day journey of introspection, inspiration, and passion with daily practices that support a connection with what makes you come alive, while easy-to-use tools help keep you on track.
by Amy Matthews | Dec 23, 2020 | In-Power, Inspiration |
I was standing in line yesterday at a cafe to pick up a to-go order. A woman ahead of me, exclaimed: “I can’t wait until 2020 is over!” A familiar sentiment I have heard so often since last spring.
Our limits have been tested. It’s been a year of growth for each and every one of us.
Initially, we focused on what we didn’t have, couldn’t do, and didn’t like. We felt a myriad of emotions – sad, pissed, frustrated, and scared. Yet, as the year progressed, we started to accept our circumstances. We became more flexible, adaptable, and resilient. Less set in our ways, less married to our own point of view. We became more receptive and opened up to new possibilities and opportunities. Found joy and gratitude in the simple things. And, many went deeper within to consider what wasn’t working in their lives and found the courage to make necessary changes that support their ultimate happiness.
The truth is, there has been a lot of loss and pain while at the same time, so much has been accomplished too.
I have clients who have been promoted, one who adopted a baby, several who created new businesses, built their brands, websites launched, funding secured, and had their best year ever. Others who have moved across the country, or bought new homes. I have other clients who have let go of perfectionism and overdoing and stepped into their most authentic and confident selves.
Take five minutes to ponder these three questions and write down your answers:
What are the positive outcomes from this year?
What have you accomplished this year?
What are you most proud of?
Wishing you a relaxing, heart-filled, and joyful holiday season!
by Amy Matthews | Nov 19, 2020 | Inspiration, Mindset |
Most high performers and I include myself in this category, expect a lot from themselves. Unrealistically so. We consistently overdo and over busy while at the same time, never feel ‘enough’. I see this across the board with my clients. As a recovered ‘hard on myself” master, I get it.
There isn’t a better time to release the mental chatter in our minds that doesn’t make us feel good or empowered. There isn’t a better time to start making permanent changes.
On that note, I am delighted to be published in an UpJourney article! It’s called “How to Not Beat Yourself Up.” My contribution is below.
How to Not Beat Yourself Up.
Across the board, women and men are hard on themselves. Especially high achievers. We live in a culture that worships perfection, overvalues how we look and perform and where playing the comparison game is the daily norm. Social media only makes matters worse. No wonder, many of us base our entire identity and on how others perceive us!
The truth is, we have lost our own sense of who we are and the ability to validate ourselves. No question, we all want to be loved and accepted. Yet, basing our entire self-worth on how others perceive us, is a disaster waiting to happen. There is no such thing as ‘perfect’. As we strive for the unattainable, feelings of unworthiness, anxiety, and self-doubt seep in – all contributors to low self-esteem.
So what to do about it? We learn to stop berating ourselves, comparing ourselves to others, and nix our expectations that cause disappointment and heartache. We learn to feel comfortable in our own skin and ultimately, become the authority of our own lives.
Ask yourself, “Why do I believe I need to be perfect?”
Perhaps like many of us, it was how we learned to get love as a small child. Ask yourself, then ask the question again. I bet you’ll get a different answer. You’ll recognize that you are loved for who you are – not only for what you accomplish or how you look.
Please stop the self-doubt talk
Doubting yourself and your actions are usually about what happened in the past. “Did I say the wrong thing?” Should I have said Yes?” “Was I Too Much?” Trust your intuition. Trust yourself and the decisions you make. If you focus on what’s happening right now, you can make a positive impact on the present and a difference in your future.
Release the judgment
Judgment only leads to negativity and an overly critical view of everything – the world, yourself, and all the people who truly matter to you. Judgment is heavy. It dilutes your precious energy. Instead, direct your energy into things that you love and inspire you.
Stop being your worst critic
Who are you to think less of yourself than others do? Belittling yourself is passe – it only keeps you small. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Make besties with your deliciously, imperfect self.
Let go of expectations of yourself
Expectations only create disappointment, especially if they aren’t met. Be open to how situations unfold. The outcome may be better than you imagined.
Try not to compare yourself or your life to others
The comparison game is usually played with someone you think has more or is doing more than you. Most likely, that isn’t true!
Let go of how you think you’re supposed to be
Instead of being and doing what you think you are supposed to be and do, claim who you really are. Your authentic self is your most powerful weapon.
Don’t let mistakes stop you in your tracks
We all make them. You are more than worthy and enough. Learn from your mistakes and try not to make them again.
We all deserve a break from being hard on ourselves. Pass this on to a friend or two – they will thank you for it.
You can read the entire UpJourney article “How to Stop Beating Yourself Up” here.
Tired of beating yourself up and ready to love yourself more? Schedule a FREE clarity call with me here and to get your first step towards becoming your best self.
