11 Rules To Break To Set Yourself Free

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The Endless Quest for Work/Life Balance: How to Thrive in a Fast-Paced World

The Endless Quest for Work/Life Balance: How to Thrive in a Fast-Paced World

Let’s face it, it’s not easy to balance the stresses and demands of daily life. As the summer comes to an end, with increased responsibilities and kids returning to school, many of us will be running faster while things are coming at us from all directions. Adding to the mix, the growing uncertainty and shifts in the world around us, finding a sense of balance can be more elusive than ever. 

It’s the reason people return to Rancho la Puerta time and time again: to regain perspective, reconnect with themselves and others, revitalize inside and out, rejuvenate, and renew. I feel fortunate and very grateful to teach my class there, “Create a Purpose-Driven and Freedom-Filled Life.” 

Seeking work/life balance is like the quest for the holy grail. We yearn for it. We search for it. As we pursue it, it’s just out of our reach. Or, we think we finally found it, and poof, it magically disappears! Perhaps it’s the “idea of balance” that trips us up. The word balance conjures up a visual of life being easy, peasy, and breezy; where everything is perfectly in order and in its place. A trap if I ever heard one! The truth is, if we had balance, all of the time, life could be BORING.

My first career was in Silicon Valley and I had a very demanding job, with a ton of responsibility. Creating an explosive new market, and building a national team – it was non-stop. I flew cross country almost weekly to meet with customers, leaving at the beginning of the week and returning to San Francisco on Friday. I would spend the weekend decompressing and come Monday, I’d do it all over again. Rinse and repeat. 

At that time, the last thing I had was balance! Due to my focus on success and a crazy work schedule, I knew I had to incorporate tools to keep me sane. I struggled with finding balance as many of my high-performing coaching clients do. Here’s what I learned: Balance is an inside job.  When I feel rocky, off balance and overwhelmed, if I take a step back and prioritize self-care, I can return to equilibrium rather easily.

I think we all want to feel grounded, clear-headed, calm, a sense of ease and joy. Balance is trusting you have a good handle on all the aspects of your life and the belief that the universe has your back. So no matter what, amidst ups or downs, you flow with it rather than fight or resist what is happening.

balance is an inner job

Daily Go-Tos to Keep Focused + Increase Productivity and Ease

✅ Make Intention and Discipline Your Mantras
✅ Flip the switch from your active monkey mind by focusing on your heart
✅ Go for a walk between meetings and BREATHE
✅ Grant yourself a daily dose of gratitude
✅ Create blocks of time on your calendar to get things done
✅ Turn off notifications when you’re working on a deadline
✅ Respond to texts three times a day – rather than 100
✅ Reduce time on social media and how often you read/listen to news

10 Tips for Work/Life Balance and Success

#1 Start Your Day with a Positive Attitude.
Get out of your head and into your body: whatever that means for you. It might be a walk with your dog, meditation, yoga, a killer workout, or whatever floats your boat. Your intention is to be grounded, present, and ready to face the day.

#2 Be Authentic. Stay True to Your Values.
Authenticity Rules. Your experience, values, strengths, skills, passions, and DNA are unique. Embrace your individuality and all that you are. You’ll exude confidence and it will lead to your ultimate success.

#3 Think Good Thoughts. Say Good Things.
It’s important to bask ourselves in uplifting and positive thoughts so we feel inspired, motivated, optimistic, energized, productive, and feel good about ourselves. Choose your words wisely. 

We often don’t realize how powerful our words are and how they impact others.

#4 The B Word. Boundaries.
Boundaries are essential for our productivity, success, well-being, and happiness. They empower us and contribute to feeling we’re in the driver’s seat of our lives. Who doesn’t want that?

#5 Clarity On What You Want.
To manifest what you want, you need a clear vision of what you want to create and a strategy and plan to get you there. You can always change a plan, but if you don’t have one to begin with, it’s hard to change it, right?

#6 Compete with Yourself.
It’s easy to put energy into what your colleagues or friends are doing or achieving. Stay focused on the activities that will bring YOU the results you want. Giving your attention to others takes your eye off the prize of being the best you can be.

#7 Don’t Expect a Certain Outcome.
I’m a huge believer in high standards and developing specific goals yet I’ve learned to not expect a certain outcome. Expectations are a breeding ground for disappointment. Be open to how situations unfold. If you remain flexible, the result may be better than you anticipated!

#8 Trust Your Gut.
The truth is, you’ve got to learn to use your instincts to be successful in business and life. The more you rely on your instincts and intuition, combined with your real-life experience, the better you’ll be at making sound decisions.

#9 Know Your Limits.
Contrary to popular belief, humans have limits! Check-in with yourself to see what you need at the moment. Instead of going to the event you’ve been dreading, perhaps a candlelit bath or meditation is a better choice.

#10 Go for It.
Taking risks isn’t for everyone. Fear is what usually prevents us from doing something uncomfortable. Acknowledge your fear, just don’t let it stop you from going after what you want!

Conclusion

Finding balance is a personal journey, it’s unique for everyone and there is no one-size-fits-all. Try not to make it another task to cross off your to-do list! Some people thrive with a killer workout, others a meditative walk, a dance party, yoga, breath work, art, sound healing, green juices, reading, a conversation with a friend, healing massage, great sex, deep sleep, or a combination of the above.

Let’s work together to discover what works best to bring you back into balance. 

Book a complimentary call with me here.

Explore more content on my website.

Want Clarity, Conviction and Confidence?

Want Clarity, Conviction and Confidence?

When I first began to think about creating my consulting and coaching business, I started to write every morning about what I wanted. I was in a reflective period, I had recently broken up with a boyfriend and was in a growth spurt. 

First thing after waking, sitting in my living room with a cup of Joe in hand, I wrote. The title at the top of the page, WHAT I WANT. I wrote a stream of consciousness, permitting myself to write whatever came to mind, with no rules, and anything goes. Every day for a month, I wrote for 15 minutes. Then every day for another month and another month after that. 

I got super clear. I got a conviction. I got committed. I got confident, to take action and start creating my life on my terms. Thus, the beginning of my coaching process.

That was 10 years ago. Back then, my business was called Eat the Brownie. I’ve always been super inspired to help people realize their full potential and get what they want, whether it’s more joy, freedom, money, success, peace of mind or whatever brings meaning. This is what “Eating the Brownie” is all about, knowing who you are, what you want and creating a life with #no regrets. (Read the story that inspired “Eat the Brownie” here.)

I call my morning writing ritual “Brownie Pages”, a take on Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages, the amazing author of the Artist’s Way.

What I know for sure is this: if you take the time to get out of mind mugginess, you will gain clarity on what you want. And if you take repeated action towards it, in 6 months your life will change. It’s how I got to where I am now. I changed where I live and what I do. My life looks very different than it did 10 years ago.

AND drum roll please..it’s time to do it again! Starting right now –  2 full months – I’m committed to writing “Brownie Pages” each and every day. So I can expand my vision for myself, my business and my life. And make 2024 the best year ever.

Who wants to join me? In just 8 weeks, you will have more clarity, conviction, and confidence to create the life you really want. Come on, let’s do this together.

Life is short, let’s get the party started. You in? Send me an email (amy at womanunruled dot com) and let me know! 

Eat the brownie

So You Want a Productive and Positive 2024? Avoid “The Rabbit” Hole.

So You Want a Productive and Positive 2024? Avoid “The Rabbit” Hole.

One of my main goals this year, and every year is to be highly productive. I can get hyper-focused but lately, I find I’m more susceptible to distractions. Perhaps it’s how fast things are moving and changing around us, or the turbulence and chaos in our own lives or our loved ones, the media and the biggest time suck of all – social media.

Going down a rabbit hole does have its positive connotations – expansive thinking, exploring, being in discovery mode. But in this article, I’m talking about the not so useful kind of rabbit hole that leads to anxious feelings and wasted time.

Let me know if any of these situations resonate with you:

  • Your child or loved one has a terrible rash and you “google the heck out of it” concluding she/he has a rare disease
  • You wake up in the middle of the night and your mind is spinning, going over the details of the day, ruminating about what you didn’t do or wish you hadn’t said
  • You get obsessed with a topic or person on social media and Instagram becomes your best and worst friend

One minute you’re having a productive and positive day, the next minute you’re in the midst of a downward spiral where your thoughts turn on your panic button, turn off your immune system along with the creative part of your brain.

It’s normal to want to know and have information, it’s a way to feel we’re in control and leading our lives. Yet when we start to feel crummy or disempowered or dissatisfied, it’s time to stop the Google, Instagram or FB obsession and comparison game.

In a world full of distractions, how do you stay on course?

  • You focus on your top priorities.
  • You create boundaries with your schedule and with people.
  • You monitor your thoughts and emotions so they are positive and don’t run on the fear track.
  • You make intention and discipline your mantras.

Let’s face it, we have control of what’s going on around us sometimes and sometimes not.

Here are some things you do have control over:

👉 You can flip the switch from your active monkey mind and focus on your heart.

👉 You can go for a walk or hike and BREATHE.

👉 You can grant yourself a daily dose of gratitude.

👉 You can turn off notifications when you’re working on a deadline.

👉 You can create blocks of time on your calendar to get things done.

👉 You can respond to texts twice a day – rather than 100.

👉 You can reduce time on social media and how often you read/listen to news.

👉 You can discipline your thoughts so they are “I AM ENOUGH”, “I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO”

👉 You can make your goals a priority over those of others.

A whole new year is unfolding. It’s up to you to curb everyday distractions that get in the way of meeting your goals and accomplishing what you want most.


If you’re ready to maximize your potential and productivity this year, let’s get on a call. https://calendly.com/woman-unruled/30-minute-etb

What breakthrough are you seeking?

Where were you a year ago?

Where were you a year ago?

A brand spanking new year! For me, it’s an opportunity to look back and reflect on how much I’ve grown and accomplished in the past year. 

Years ago I was working with a coach (we all need one!) who gave me specific questions. Since then, I’ve come up with a list of questions of my own. Every year around the new year, I take a time out before I move forward to the next year. Here are the questions I ask:

What did I learn?

What did I accomplish?

Who did I serve?

Who was I kind to?

Who was kind to me?

What inspired me?

How did I show up?

What am I most proud of?

What brought me the greatest JOY? 

As you usher in the new year, own your brilliance and all that you’ve become. Celebrate yourself. Toast yourself with a glass of bubbly. Celebrate thoroughly. Then ask:

What do I want more of in 2024?

Happy New Year! A super-abundant, freedom-filled meaningful new year awaits.

 

Own Your Brilliance

Turn on the Lights this Holiday Season.

Turn on the Lights this Holiday Season.

It’s Winter Solstice today, the shortest and darkest day of the year. A time to pause, BREATHE, reflect and renew.

The shortest day can only mean brighter days ahead.

It’s been easy to focus on the darkness surrounding us lately. Let’s face it, it’s an intense year FOR EVERYONE. People are tired and at their wits end.

Yet, truth be told, darkness, begets darkness. Anger begets anger. Resentment begets resentment. Anxiety begets anxiety. Hate begets hate. And fear begets more fear.

On the flip side, light begets light. Peace begets peace. Calm begets calm. Kindness begets kindness. Respect begets respect. And joy and gratitude, begets more joy and gratitude.

Just like a highly contagious virus, emotions can be like a super spreader event.

If you’re feeling stressed and A LOT of fear these days, believe me, you are not alone! Today is an opportunity to SHIFT.

From patience to understanding

From distraction to presence

From crazy busy to more ease

From self loathing to self love

From judging others to accepting

From cynical to trusting

From feeling like a victim, to feeling empowered

You always have the power to turn on the lights or sit in the darkness. FLIP THE SWITCH to bring more light into your life and your relationships.

How to Avoid Conflict this Holiday Season. Read This.

How to Avoid Conflict this Holiday Season. Read This.

Many people have a short fuse these days.

Not only are the holidays upon us, add the stressors of congregating with extended family, the lingering effects of the pandemic, worldwide divisiveness, weather mayhem, and end-of-year work issues, we have a lot on our plates and a lot to digest. As a client of mine so aptly put, “There is a feeling of chaos everywhere.”

The current environment is a perfect storm for altercations to arise. Conversations can ignite, quickly escalate and get out of hand.

Here are a few tips to avoid conflict this holiday season:

👉 Don’t be surprised if a disagreement arises. There is a ton of frustration and anger in the air. If you are on the receiving end, before firing back a response, take a moment and breathe.

👉 Be curious. Hmm..why is she/he/they upset? Is it about me or just transference taking place? 9 times out of 10, the reason the person is upset has nothing to do with you.

👉 Do your best to not take what he/she/they say personally. I know, easier said than done! Yet, it is easier than opening yourself up to attack or an explosive conversation.

👉 State your truth in a calm, centered, compassionate manner. By all means, avoid saying things back like:

👉 “You make no sense.”
👉 “You are so defensive.”
👉 “I told you so.”
👉 “You shouldn’t do it that way.”
👉 “You never listen.”

👉 All verbal disasters waiting to happen.

If you follow the steps above and are still under personal attack, agree to disagree. Or table the conversation for another time. Or walk away. This way you will avoid hearing and saying things you will regret.

And the final step?

SHAKE IT OFF AND GO ABOUT YOUR DAY. Just like my dog, Pie does.

What breakthrough are you seeking?