by Amy Matthews | Jan 28, 2020 | Business, Mindset |
We all have Internal conflicts. You know what I mean, when your mind is in a constant tug of war. One of the best ways to hold yourself back from achieving what you want most, is to want two opposing things at the same time.
A few examples:
You want to lose weight. And you are obsessed with eating ice cream.
You want to grow your business. And you spend all your time ‘on the business’.
You want to find a new job. And don’t want to look for a new position.
You want an intimate partnership. And you want to stay home and watch Netflix.
When we want two different and opposing things, we create resistance within ourselves. This makes us conflicted, creates confusion and mind mugginess which keeps us stuck.
To #Breakfree from this mental trap, ask yourself:
What is it I really want – right now? Not a month from now or 2 years from now. Right this very minute?
I reported to an executive years ago who was notorious for saying this.”You’re not a man without a plan. You can change a plan but you can’t change a no plan.”
I’d like to think that in today’s environment, he would have included “woman” in the above statement but you get my drift.
Empower yourself and make a choice. Create an action plan and commit to it 100%. If you don’t gain traction after some time, revisit your plan. You can always change it.
But you can’t change a “no plan”.
by Amy Matthews | Jan 15, 2020 | In-Power, Mindset |
Last week we discussed developing a plan that is simple, clear and attainable.
Now for the fun part. It’s time to get into strategic action.
We’ve all heard the term, work smarter, not harder. What does it really mean?
It’s staying focused on your priorities. It’s having discipline. It’s creating boundaries. Boundaries, not only with people but with your schedule. Time is finite and is the most precious and valuable resource there is.
Distraction will inevitably, rear its ugly head. Sometimes it’s in our control, sometimes not. You can turn off your devices when you’re working on a project deadline. You can block your calendar so you aren’t available. When you need clarity, you can ask your coach or a friend for help. But when your dog jumps up while sipping your morning coffee, spilling on your computer, pronouncing it dead, you have less control. (Yep, my distraction and lesson for the week).
Stuff will happen that you don’t plan or foresee. All you can do is manage your reaction to it. As my yoga teacher says, have radical acceptance of what is. Give 100% of what you can give – your best – every day. If a family emergency crops up or you didn’t sleep last night, your 100% may be less than on another day. That’s OK. Staying the Course is what’s important.
Say NO to distraction that is in your control.
Say YES to focus and getting ‘er done.
by Amy Matthews | Jan 14, 2020 | Inspiration, Mindset |
Last week I talked about creating intentions and what you want most this year. Have you taken the time to write them down? Created a vision board? A list of what you’re saying YES to and NO to? Yep, I’m your accountability partner.
Let’s say you now have a vision. It’s time to create your plan.
A solid plan has structure, clear goals and priorities. It’s realistic and attainable. If goals are too lofty, you may be setting yourself up to fail and who wants that! Be honest with yourself – with what you want and how much you can do. You don’t have to boil the ocean because it’s 1) impossible and 2) exhausting.
Some thrive on planning and structure. Others don’t. A client of mine avoids structure because it makes her feel confined but now realizes she needs it to reach her goals. Another client, an astute planner her entire life, after giving birth, says her planning has gone out the window! She realizes that planning is about the future, not the present. She also found it super stressful. She feels happier, grounded and more at ease with herself and in her life.
Structure has always helped me accomplish things. Yet in the past, I had a tendency to get hyper-focused and not see what was right in front of me. I was too focused on the goal. I now balance structure with spaciousness which allows me to be creative, open to magic and at the same time, ‘get er done’.
I’m simplifying my plan this year and my theme is quality over quantity. Only 3 priorities for my business and 3 for my personal life. The less is more approach. I think I’ll be more focused and get more accomplished because of it.
Everyone has an approach that works for them. What works for you? Reply to this email, would love to hear!
If you don’t have clarity about your game plan this year, I’d love to help. Sign up for a free 30-minute call with me here.
by Amy Matthews | Dec 17, 2019 | In-Power, Mindset |
Someone asked me the other day if I’ve written about boundaries. My first reaction was of course! I looked at all my blogs and realized I’ve referenced boundaries but not written about them directly. Here’s my attempt to do just that.
We’ve all heard about the importance of healthy boundaries but many of us struggle to create them. Here are some indicators when we don’t have them:
We say yes to people or situations that don’t interest us.
We accommodate and over function for others.
We give unsolicited advice.
The underlying reason? We want to please. We want others to like us. We want others to be happy. We get emotionally involved and care too much.
Caring deeply may sound all well and good. We were brought up to care more about others well being above our own. It’s what we do. The truth is, when we overextend ourselves, it leads to exhaustion, stress and even burnout. Eventually, not having boundaries will get the best of us.
If this resonates, ask yourself these questions:
Am I doing what I want or am I doing it out of obligation?
How do I feel when I am with this person?
Why do I feel I need to offer advice?
You can be kind. You can be helpful. You can prioritize what you want. To realize your highest potential of success, ditch the people-pleasing and stay in your own lane. Create boundaries that serve you and the people in your life.
by Amy Matthews | Dec 3, 2019 | Blog, Mindset |
I’ve had several conversations this week with men and women about expectations. In every one of my conversations, I heard the same thing. “It’s so hard not to have them.”
Every time we have an expectation of a person, a situation, whether it’s in business or in our personal life – when we don’t get what we want – disappointment can rear its ugly head. The source of the problem is not the expectation itself. It’s that we get a picture in our minds and fantasize and future trip about the ideal outcome and get attached to it. It’s the attachment to what we want that makes us struggle, not the expectation itself.
There is a bright side to disappointment. It shows us what we want, it shows us what we crave. It shows us we have passion for something. It shows us we care – deeply. It shows us we are on the right path towards getting what we want.
If your business deal goes belly up, there will be another one
If you don’t get the promotion, you will in the future
If your relationship has a rough patch, it will sort out
If the investor doesn’t resonate with your pitch, another one will
If the person you’re seeing doesn’t pan out, another one is around the corner
Expect success in every aspect of your life. Expect to fulfill your goals. Expect to have the relationship you want. Expect to create an extraordinary life. The caveat, of course, is: work hard to make whatever you want happen, happen and stay the course.
Let go of the life you created in your mind. Open up to the life that’s right in front of you.
by Amy Matthews | Nov 27, 2019 | Inspiration, Mindset |
There’s a lot of hype about practicing gratitude. Truth be told, I buy into it, hook, line and sinker because it works for me.
But sometimes when life brings lemons – it’s super hard to feel grateful. Instead of putting a happy face on, crawling under the covers seems like a better alternative.
There’s also the pressure to feel grateful because we live in a culture where it’s “in”. If we aren’t feeling it, we feel like a big, fat phony. We wonder what’s wrong with us. Some part of us wants to be grateful but another wants to stick its heels in. We then ask: how can I not feel grateful with so many hungry and homeless people in the world??
Major guilt trip. Massive self-judgment. Monumental self-loathing.
You don’t have to push yourself to feel something you don’t feel. You only have to acknowledge how you do feel. Take a deep breath and allow your feelings to be in the room – with you. Maybe you’re feeling disappointment or a whole lot of fear. Or something else altogether. Ditch the judgment and accept how you feel right now.
Sometimes to get gratitude, you gotta give yourself permission to feel exactly how you feel. Then things will shift – I promise.
Wishing you grace and ease this Thanksgiving holiday.
