by Amy Matthews | Oct 22, 2019 | Business, In-Power, Inspiration, Mindset |
I have always sought out a coach or consultant when I wanted to get better, learn something or get somewhere. Personal trainers, therapists, healers, career coach, speaking coach, branding strategist, business gurus, marketing consultants – you name it. All of these experts are a type of coach and they have all helped me get to where I am today.
So many of us don’t ask for help. We poo poo the idea, or the cost, or the time. We run away from our feelings, we stay stuck in our analytical minds. We waste time and don’t go anywhere. I think it’s because for some of us, the idea of being and having whatever we want is – scary.
The truth is, the happiest and most successful people work with someone (or someones) to help them cut through the muck, get out of their own way and move to the next level.
The truth is, you can’t depend on your husband, wife, partner, friend to be your coach.
When you want to get into shape, you hire a personal trainer. When you want to understand your childhood and family background, you hire a therapist. When you want to resolve conflict in your relationship, you hire a couples therapist.
And:
When you need a strategy and plan for your life, you hire me
When you need to map out your business idea, you hire me
When you want to grow your business, you hire me
When you want to figure out what you want to do when you grow up, you hire me
When you want to fast track your career, you hire me
When you want to make more money, you hire me
When you want to become a better leader, you hire me
When you want to improve your communication skills, you hire me
When you want to embrace all that you are and be a total badass, you hire me
WE all need help. It starts with asking for it.
What would you like more of? Book your 45 min Clarity call with me here.
by Amy Matthews | Oct 1, 2019 | Mindset |
We strive to be our very best. We engage 100%, we give it our all, in everything we do. At work, as a parent, as a friend, as a partner or lover. When situations don’t go the way we planned – the presentation is sub-par, your kid takes a wrong turn, your relationship has a hiccup, the meeting you put your heart and soul into is just ok – it’s easy to take it personally.
We expect so much from ourselves so when we don’t get the results we want, we take too much responsibility and often blame ourselves. Questions like: What did I do wrong? Am I not a good parent? Is it my fault? pop up in our heads.
Taking things personally wreaks havoc on our self-esteem. It takes us out of our power. Plus it’s emotionally exhausting!
Next time an outcome is less than what you want, ask yourself: What if it’s not about me? The truth is, it rarely is. If the same situation happened to your best friend, what would you say to her or him?
Cut yourself some slack.
Validate yourself for all you do.
Sing your praises.
Pat your fabulous self on the back.
We don’t need to change or fix ourselves to be better, we need to change the way we think of ourselves to be better. Tell yourself all the reasons you are amazing and awesome – today and every day. Try it. Come on, I dare you.
There’s not a thing wrong with you, you’re right all the way through. – Emma Donahue
by Amy Matthews | Sep 27, 2019 | Mindset |
We all have them, stories we’ve made up based on an event or situation that happened in the past. These stories are our interpretation of what happened, something took place and we created a meaning to it. These stories shape our perspective in the present.
We do it all day long: we tell ourselves stories about what happened or what’s happening in our lives right now – about other people and about ourselves. Our stories can either make us feel good, or not. When we attach old feelings to a current situation, that’s when we can trip up.
If you’re feeling a negative emotion – anger, resentment, fear, mega anxiety, insecurity -you may have an old story that is running the show. To help you unravel it, ask yourself:
Is this story true?
Are my feelings based in the present or in the past?
What story can I let go to give me more freedom?
A lot of stuff happens in life. Try your best to not take it personally or create a meaning to it. The truth of any given situation is happening in the present moment.
You get to decide how you want to feel. Be present to your life.
by Amy Matthews | Sep 27, 2019 | Business, Mindset |
We want to think we’re living on our terms but more often than not, we aren’t.
It’s easy not to succumb to societal pressures, work situations and all kinds of relationships require things of us. We care about meeting the expectations of others, we want to make others happy so we conform, accommodate and compromise. It’s just what we do.
I see this with clients and friends, all of whom are high performers and super successful.
Here are a few examples:
Your spouse/partner/friend wants you to do things for them so you do. Because you want to please them and don’t want to rock the boat
You’re being offered the coveted job you really want and instead of speaking up about a bigger salary, you take the offer you are given
You meet the demands of your high maintenance client – all the time – for fear they will take their business elsewhere
Your child wants what he/she wants and because your love for them is immense, you give it to them – because you see no other way
Your colleague or executive is uber anal and demanding and because he/she can have emotional outbursts, you do what they want – always
The truth is, life is one big negotiation. Like all negotiations, you first need to be clear on what your terms are.
Second, you need to show up at the bargaining table.
Next time before you cave into the demands of another, ask yourself these questions:
What is the best outcome – for both of us?
What am I willing to give to get?
What isn’t acceptable to me?
How important is this person or situation to me?
Living life on your terms is not for the faint of heart – it takes awareness, clarity, courage, conviction and a whole lotta self respect. Know your terms and where you stand in any situation and most importantly, know when to walk away. Your self worth depends on it.
by Amy Matthews | Aug 20, 2019 | Business, Mindset |
Confidence is the #1 issue facing women and girls today. What I mean, is a lack thereof.
We over perform, we overdo, we excel at all we do. We’re ambitious, we’re on it. We run circles around everyone. We expect so much from ourselves. And of course we have to look good while doing it all, too.
When I left the corporate world, I planned to take a year off. I was ecstatic. I was finally going to be free of the high pressure job, the endless red eye flights, the constant anxiety and worry. My adrenals were spent, I was spent. I blamed my stress and exhaustion on the job itself.
Two months into my one year sabbatical, instead of feeling a sense of ease, I was still driving myself. My todo list kept getting bigger and I had the same sense of urgency as when I was working. I was obsessed to get everything done, just so. Instead of feeling a sense of joy and freedom, I felt trapped.
I realized it wasn’t the job. It was me.
Our self worth and self esteem are wrapped up in our performance. We desperately want to be validated for who we are so we do more. As if our herculean efforts will somehow cover up and fill the void we feel deep down that we are not enough.
So many women I know are doing their lives this way. Are you?
I’m here to tell you it’s a vicious cycle. There is a better way.
True self confidence comes from a feeling from the inside. It’s feeling comfortable in your skin. It’s validating, yourself, for all that you are. It’s an unwavering belief that you are loved for who you are, not for what you do. Because you are more than enough.
The truth is, until we get a handle on this, we’ll never step fully into our power. Confidence and power go hand in hand.
Give yourself permission to ditch the overdoing and create a life of pure abundant magic. To learn more about my Freedom Method, book a clarity call with me here.
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Even though you’ve “made it,” you’re afraid to ask for what you really want.
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by Amy Matthews | Jul 23, 2019 | Mindset |
We hear it all the time – live in the present moment. It’s harder than it sounds, right?
It’s easy to get attached to how we want things to be, especially when our hearts get involved. We experience a moment of exhilaration or joy, we get a taste of what we want most, so we want “it.” Here’s the thing: wanting “it” leads to having expectations and expectations, lead to disappointment.
It’s a vicious cycle, a mental trap that robs us from living in the present. I think it stems from a belief many of us formed in childhood, the belief that “I can’t or won’t get what I want.” Can you relate?
It’s time to call bullshit on this belief. Yep, bullshit. It’s important to understand where it came from and then let it go. It’s up to us to come up with a new empowering belief like:
I always get what I want
I trust myself and my choices
I am open to how things unfold
Allow yourself to embrace the moment, without analyzing the past or tripping on the future. Being present creates an experience. An experience creates the next one. And then the next. A set of experiences creates your life.
