by Amy Matthews | Jul 22, 2019 | In-Power, Mindset |
We all have dreams. Some big, some small.
All is available to us, anything we want. But we first need to get out of our own way.
What usually holds us back is a core belief (or many) that we developed in childhood that we are still attached to. Without knowing it, these beliefs run us.
Some limiting core beliefs and thoughts are:
I’m not deserving of making tons of money
I’m not worthy of a loving relationship
If I don’t overdo and over busy, I’ll turn into a bag lady
If I trust him/her, I’ll get disappointed
Life is full of struggle and suffering
I never get what I want
These beliefs and thoughts keep us trapped and confined. It’s as if we’re on a merry go round in our head – stuck in a mental loop that makes it impossible to get – anywhere.
It’s not easy to let go of our limiting beliefs. The only way we can is to challenge them. Ask yourself:
What is the #1 belief or recurring thought that drains my energy, that gets in the way of realizing my dream? Then ask: is it true?
It’s time to let go of the mental patterns and the stories you tell yourself that don’t serve you. It’s time to get over it. You are deserving. You are worthy. You are loved. You are an AWE-INSPIRING being with chocolate sprinkles and a cherry on top.
Open up fully to Yourself and Your Life. Your bright and abundant future awaits.
by Amy Matthews | Jul 22, 2019 | Mindset |
Expectations – it’s difficult not to have them.
We’re ambitious, we have a grand vision for ourselves and our lives. We imagine what we want, we go after it and we want it to look a certain way. When reality doesn’t meet our vision, we naturally get disappointed. Or sad. Or frustrated. Or angry.
Our daily lives are full of expectations, of how situations will be like or what another person will do. You know what I mean.
You don’t get the promotion when you deserve it
A friend flakes on you at the last minute
Your “dream” vacation ends up being a “reality” vacation
After extensive interviews, you don’t get the job
The launch is a flop
Your partner/spouse doesn’t do what he/she says he/she will do
Your Match or Tinder date looks 10 years older than his/her profile picture
The restaurant that took 2 months to get into is just ok
Expectations are a breeding ground for not feeling good. They block our happiness. They keep us living in the future rather than in-joying living in the present. By all means, have high standards, intentions, clear goals and a vision for where you want to go. But try your best to not get attached to a picture, a certain outcome.
You get to decide whether or not to fall into the expectation trap. Ease up on yourself, and the people in your life. Celebrate the now. Be in the moment. Set yourself up to be pleasantly surprised.Your happiness is up to You.
by Amy Matthews | Jun 25, 2019 | Mindset |
I was getting a mani pedi on Saturday at a local salon in my home town of Sausalito. The two women doing my nails were talking about how they wanted breast implants and wished they had pink skin vs yellow.
I was struck by the conversation.
No matter what age, ethnicity, demographic, life circumstance, demographic – all women – at some point – have wanted to be different in some way.
We’ve been socialized to not love ourselves for who we are. The media has brainwashed us, told us what beauty is and isn’t. The result is many of us feel shame and defective in some way. The lack of confidence and self esteem makes us feelnot good enough. We fall into the trap of thinking that if only we change our bodies, our faces, we will feel better and, life will be better.
What I think we all yearn for is a deep level of ease and a knowing that we are OK, just as we are. No matter what we do to change ourselves on the outside, if we don’t also change our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, change won’t last. The truth is,
confidence is an inside job.
I used to want straight hair, olive skin, a smaller nose, smaller thighs. Sometimes I still do 🙂 but for the most part, I’ve learned to love and accept myself – just as I am. I’m super grateful for my healthy body and all it does for me.
You are OK just the way you are. It’s time to fall deeply in love with yourself and your body. Give your body some lovin’ and gratitude – every single day.
by Amy Matthews | May 21, 2019 | Mindset |
Everyone I talk to lately has lots of moving parts in their lives. Here are a few things my clients, friends and family are dealing with: growing a start-up, seeking a coveted position, managing the ups and downs of a relationship, kids and their issues, dealing with the ex, building a new home, selling another. As women we pride ourselves on being able to multitask and get shit done. We have it all together. We are on it. We are super women on steroids.
But when life is happening faster than we want it to, we can feel out of control. Most of us are used to managing every detail of our life and want to know exactly how it’s going to end up. When we don’t know, it’s unsettling, exhausting, stressful and even scary.
If you feel you’re in the midst of a hurricane, you have two choices. You can either keep pushing the boulder up the hill and over effort OR surrender and let go. Trust you’re in the right place and that things will work out. Know it’s okay to not have all the answers. To not know exactly what your future will be like. Don’t fight the current, step into the flow.
Here are a few things to do to get yourself back to center. Get quiet and meditate, even if it’s for 10 minutes. Create a mantra “my life is unfolding exactly the way it’s supposed to” or whatever feels right to you. Take a yoga class – yin or restorative or yoga nidra – all are grounding and get you in touch with how you’re feeling. Practice gratitude – every single day.
One minute you may feel you’re in a torrential downpour, the next it’s clear blue skies.
by Amy Matthews | May 7, 2019 | Mindset |
The topic of feeling guilty came up in conversation with a client last week. She’s a high performing executive, super successful and an amazing mother, daughter, spouse and friend.
We’ve all felt guilty at some point in our lives. I used to say if you were Catholic, Jewish or lived in the Midwest you were prone to guilt! I grew up in Wisconsin and Michigan so I can say that hands down. The good news is in my late 20s, I started questioning why I felt guilty. For the most part, I choose not to go there anymore.
More women feel guilty than men. It’s a fact. It’s not surprising since women are socialized to get along with others and take care of the people we love. We do this so well. It’s a good thing to be concerned about others. The problem is when we feel guilty for something we did or didn’t do, or something we thought we did or didn’t do or for not doing enough. That’s when it becomes crazy making.
If you hurt someone or committed a crime, you have my full permission to feel guilty! If you didn’t, and you’re feeling guilty about not doing enough, it’s time to break the habit. Why? Because it’s not fair to you.
Feeling guilty keeps us small. It keeps us not feeling good about ourselves. It keeps us from stepping into our true power.
If you often feel guilty, ask yourself these 3 questions to #breakfree:
Is it true I did something wrong?
Is it true I’m not doing enough?
Is it true this person feels neglected?
Appreciate yourself for who you are and all that you do. You deserve to feel good. Every single day. You are AMAZING.
Say buh-bye to guilt. Say hello to feeling super powerful and free.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 9, 2019 | Mindset |
Seeking balance is like the quest for the holy grail.
We search for it. As we pursue, it’s always out of reach. It’s just around the corner, out of our grasp. Perhaps that’s why “the idea” of it is so appealing. We try to manage and control it because we want our day to day life to look a certain way. It’s hard to win at this game because balance is a trap.
If we had balance, ALL OF THE TIME, life would be BORING.
Think of a teeter totter, if you stayed in the middle, wouldn’t it be dull? The fun is going up and down – with someone else on the other side. The same is true for a swing, if you were always up, you’d want to go the other way. And vise versa.
I don’t think it’s balance we want. I think what we really want is clarity and to feel grounded and at ease. So no matter what arises in life, ups or downs, we flow with it rather than fight or resist it.
The truth is, balance is an inside job. It’s trusting yourself, trusting that YOU GOT THIS and THE UNIVERSE HAS YOUR BACK. It’s being present to your thoughts because your thoughts create your feelings. To feel inspired, motivated, optimistic and have abundant energy, feed your mind with positive, uplifting thoughts.
CLARITY gives you CONFIDENCE
CONFIDENCE gives you CONVICTION
CONVICTION leads to CREATING the life you want
What nutritious thoughts are you CHOOSING today? Share in the comments below!
