by Amy Matthews | May 22, 2018 | Inspiration, Mindset |
We all have a story that has led us to where we are today.
Here’s one of mine. I’m going to take you back to 5th Grade.
My family had just moved from Wisconsin to Michigan the year before. We moved because my dad had been offered an executive position with a private company with the promise to be its CEO, when the Founder and CEO retired. 1 year in the position, the company was sold to a corporation who decided to bring in their own top executives. Which meant my dad was out of a job.
One day walking home from school, I declared to myself, “You can’t do that to my dad!” “I’m going to show you guys!”
I was 10 years old.
Fast forward, I was a senior in college at the University of Colorado. I was taking a women’s studies class and during the 1st semester, we watched gender biased films. I learned for the first time how the media portrayed women! This new perspective fueled me and I got angry. One day in the 2nd semester, of the class I had a startling realization. I had no reason to be mad. At that very moment, I decided “I was going to join them!” Of course, that meant men.
After graduation, I was inspired to work for a company that was taking on an industry Goliath, AT&T. I was hired by a senior woman manager, who was both a teacher and mentor to me. She showed me step by step, how to be a solution sales person. I took off.
In my first year of sales, I was ranked #1. A few years later, I moved to a technology company that had just gone public. I eventually rose to VP Sales level, where I led both US and International teams. Throughout my time at the company, most of my colleagues were male. They were amazing and so were the women I worked with. I’m grateful for the relationships we built and all the fun we had.
As I said earlier, I decided to join them!
Though I built a new vertical for the company and led teams to overachieve objectives 12 years in a row, looking back, I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I wasn’t comfortable with all the accolades I received. Or the visibility I had within the company. So what did I do? I pushed the attention down to my team. At some level, I felt inadequate and still doubted myself.
Instead of owning my power, I gave it away.
After my corporate gigs, I decided to go into executive search as I’m highly passionate about leadership and empowering people. I recruited senior leadership talent for technology companies.
I’ve interviewed hundreds of candidates through the years – both men and women. So many of the women I met didn’t completely embrace their power – much like I didn’t. CEOs and executives have told me many of their top performers are women. They only wish they could own their power and confidence like men do.
This is why I founded Woman UnRuled.
I work with progressive business women who want to more powerfully navigate their world and career. I help women break free from what’s holding them back so they can step fully into their authentic power with grace, ease and joy.
We All Have a Story.
What Had Led You to Where You Are Today?
I Want to Hear. Make Yours a Powerful One.
by Amy Matthews | May 9, 2018 | In-Power, Mindset |
When I was 5 years old, I shared a bedroom with my older sister. One day after a bath, I came into the bedroom dancing, wet body and all. I was using my towel as a prop. I was giggling and squealing with delight because I was having so much fun.
My sister said to me “you’re going to be a stripper when you grow up”. Whoa. Talk about raining on my parade. I was too young to know what a stripper was, but old enough to know from her sharp tone that it wasn’t a good thing. The message I got in that moment, loud and clear, was that being joyful and moving my body freely wasn’t what “good girls” do.
My sister and I are very close and though I have never asked her, I bet she wouldn’t remember what she said to me that day. But I do. Her comment shut me down. For a long time and even into adulthood, I shied away from expressing myself through my body. I felt shame about my body.
The good news is, I now love to move my body everyday. Daily exercise is my go-to: hiking, yoga, bootcamp, walking, a sweaty spin class – you name it. And I love, love, love to dance.
Has anyone ever said something to you that made you feel shameful that stuck with you?
I’ve moved through the feeling of shame many times. If I can do it, I know you can too.
I say:
Don’t let anyone throw water on your fire.
Don’t let what others say or think stop you from expressing who you really are.
Never minimize yourself, it’s okay to be shiny!
Ready to free yourself from what’s holding you back?
by Amy Matthews | May 8, 2018 | Mindset |
If You Knew You Were Going to Meet the Person of Your Dreams, How Would You Prepare?
Someone asked me this question recently. It’s one of the most provocative questions I’ve been asked in a very long time. What I love most about the question is this: there is no doubt that IT WILL HAPPEN. It’s a fact, not IF but WHEN. As single women, we can waste a lot of time questioning if we’ll ever meet “the one ”. So, just know without a doubt that you will. Know absolutely that you will, direct your energy into preparing for it, envision and create what it is that you really want.
You may not relate to this question as you may be happily married or in a thriving romantic partnership. But guess what? “Person of your Dreams” is just a concept, a stand-in for “The thing you most want but worry you won’t get”. In fact, you can change up the question to apply to any area of your life:
If You Knew You Were Going to Get the Job of your Dreams, Doing What You Loved,
How Would You Prepare?
If You Knew You Were Going to Live the Life You REALLY Want, How Would You Prepare?
If You Knew You Would Be Blissfully Happy, How Would You Prepare?
Fortune Favors the Prepared Mind. Whatever it is that you want, know that It Will Happen.
Be Unwavering In Your Belief.
Prepare.
Take Action.
Stay the Course.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 30, 2018 | Business, Mindset |
Too much to do, too little time to do it. Does that sound familiar? You are not alone. There is so much going on in our lives and in the world today that life seems to be moving faster and faster. Many of us are so caught up rushing from one thing to the next that we forget to stop and breathe.
We all know the feeling of overwhelm and it’s not fun. It leaves us feeling stressed out and often paralyzed to take action. Or we decide to take something off our plate – the very thing we want and need most. Here are examples:
You know yoga makes you feel good but instead of going to class, you work longer or gulp down a glass of wine. Or you postpone working with a coach who can frame a new outlook and help you develop an action plan. We’ve all been there!
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, here are 5 things I do to shift:
Take a Time Out.
When you feel overwhelmed, this is when you need to take a breather! Get into your body by taking deep breaths or meditating for 5-10 minutes. Put some soothing music on. Go for a walk. All these things will help you shift.
Write it Down.
Write down what’s in your head that’s making you feel overwhelmed. Is it a work project? Life in general? Once you start writing, your overwhelm will naturally diffuse. You’ll gain perspective on how much you really have to do.
Ask Yourself: What Am I Feeling?
Overwhelm often happens not because there’s too much to handle, but because our emotions get in the way. Our feelings and emotions are what make us stressed out.
If you can, talk it out with a friend.
Take Action.
Determine your priorities. Everything doesn’t have to happen this minute! Do the things that are urgent, save the important ones to do later and delegate or outsource the things that you don’t need to do.
Be Grateful.
I bet your life is pretty incredible. It’s amazing how differently we feel when we shift our perspective from “there is so much I HAVE to do” to “there is so much I GET to do.” Give it a shot – appreciate all that you have now.
by Amy Matthews | Mar 12, 2018 | Mindset |
When asked the question, “What’s most important to you?” often the answer is “health” or “family and friends.” These answers are all well and good but consider this:
The most precious and valuable resource we have is our time. Time is finite so how we choose to spend it really matters.
I read this a few years ago and it struck me as a more urgent way to prioritize what matters the most. The premise is, if you say your health is most important and one day find out you’re terminally ill, you’ll look back and ask yourself how you spent your time.
This week, think about what really matters to you and how you spend your time.
Are you making the most of every encounter and experience?
Are you sensually and lavishly drinking in life?
Are you joyful and happy?
Or
Are you spending too much time worrying or in fear?
Are you caring for loved ones but neglecting yourself?
Are you saying No to the things you want most?
Give your time to those people you love and that have your back and in turn, love you and have your back. Give your time to those things that light you up or put a smile on your face. Give your time to loving and nurturing yourself. Let go of the rest.
by Amy Matthews | Mar 2, 2018 | Mindset |
Perfectionism is the big elephant in the room.
As women, we’ve grown up in a culture where we’re valued by the way we look and perform. We’ve learned that getting “ahead” or getting “what we want” requires looking and acting a certain way. The truth is we’ve bought into these societal rules and the result is we don’t show up as our true selves.
You may think that striving for perfection is a good thing. I’m here to tell you it’s not.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big believer in having high standards. But perfectionism is when you refuse to accept anything but perfect. It’s a sign of low self esteem and leads to excessive worry, anxiety and unhappiness. There’s an even darker side of perfectionism – when a woman feels insecure and undermines another as a way to feel better about herself.
Until we learn how to release our perfection and show up authentically, we’ll never be able to step fully into our power.
Here are my 6 tips to let go of perfection:
1. Ask, why do I believe I need to be perfect? Once you listen to the answer, I bet you’ll see you are loved for who you are, not what you do or how you look.
2. Stop the self doubt talk. Start trusting yourself and the decisions you make. Doubting yourself is about focusing on the past. It wastes your precious time.
3. Release your judging mind. Judgment only leads to negativity and an overly critical view of yourself and others. Who wants that?
4. Don’t compare yourself or your life to others. Most often, you compare yourself to someone you think has more or is doing more than you. This is never
a win-win.
5. Let go of how you think it’s supposed to be. Instead of being and doing what you think you are supposed to be and do, claim who you really are.
6. Don’t let mistakes you make stop you from moving forward. We all make them. You are more than worthy and enough. Learn from the mistake and #KeepGoing.
