by Amy Matthews | Feb 19, 2018 | Mindset |
There seems to be an epidemic of overwhelm and exhaustion among many women today.
Can you relate?
I think it’s about overdoing – for ourselves and our loved ones. While in the whirlwind of overdoing, it’s easy to lose touch with yourself and what matters most in our lives. It’s far from grounded and joyful. Eventually, we’ll get sick or something will stop us in our tracks.
Overdoing stems from thoughts like: “No one else can do this” or “I can’t ask for help.” Or, “I can’t say No”. Or, it’s about wanting to feel needed or important. Whatever your reason, it happens when you hand over the reigns to your masculine side and let it run rampant and neglect your intuitive, nurturing feminine side.
Most of you know, I have a new puppy that’s 12 weeks old, Pie. She’s adorable AND a hand full!
For the past month, I’ve been sleep deprived, stressed, and been on overdrive. I don’t know about you, the more stress I have, the more I do. Ten days ago, my body broke down. I hurt my lower back and the pain I’ve felt has been debilitating – beyond crazy. All you mothers: I have even more understanding and compassion for all that you do!
I realized this: Sometimes You Have to Break Down to #BreakFree.
We’ve Got to Take Care of Ourselves the Same Way We Take Care of Others.
We’ve Got to Understand Our Limits and Know Our Boundaries.
We’ve Got to Learn to Ask for Help.
We’ve Got to Nurture Ourselves from the Inside Out.
Make sure the choices you make – every single day – what you eat and drink, what you do, the music you listen to, your thoughts, what you read, who you spend your time with – Nurtures YOU.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 5, 2018 | Inspiration, Mindset |
I am single, never married and don’t have kids.There is no way at age 25 that I could have imagined my life as it is now.
I was living in San Francisco, in my first sales job, beginning to make money and prove myself to myself and the world. I always thought I’d “settle down”, get hitched, have babies and live in the ‘burbs. I recall saying to my sister that I was just playing a role until the next stage of my life.
Funny how life is.
At the time, I had a boyfriend. We dated for 2 years and broke up when I was 27. It was a mutual split, but difficult nonetheless, as most breakups are. After we parted, he wrote me a letter and said, “Amy, please love yourself more”. I sobbed when I read it. Whoa. He nailed it.
That break up put me on a growth trajectory. I’m one of the “phoenix always rises” types. I changed jobs and moved to a new company. I built a new vertical market and became highly visible within said company. I worked my ass off, traveled non-fucking-stop, rose up the ranks and generally, let the job consume my every waking hour. Don’t get me wrong, it was a career highlight and the opportunity of a lifetime. I have many hilarious memories and enduring friendships from that period in my life.
And then, a gregarious, handsome, full-of-life Italian, who grew up in Florence, asked me out. The morning after our first date, when I walked into the office, my friend asked point-blank: “Did you sleep with him?” I said, “No, but I’m going to be with him for a long time.”
We were together almost 7 years.
He opened my heart and we loved each other deeply.
6 years into the relationship, a friend told me he was going to propose on our upcoming trip to Italy. After planning the trip and arriving in Tuscany during peak season, my guy, the Italian, forgot the itinerary. This was before the internet, so he had no record of our reservations. We were in San Gimignano, charming and very crowded — with no place to sleep.
Are
you
fucking
kidding me?
I get that he could have been nervous. Or preoccupied. When our plans went awry – or better said, when we no longer had any, perhaps we both saw it as a sign from the universe. We weren’t meant to be. We did make the best of the trip, creating a new adventure which I took in my hands to arrange. Truth be told, I always had a nagging feeling I couldn’t depend on him. So at this point, our relationship started to unravel. I felt there were too many cultural and lifestyle differences to build a long term life together.
A few months after we broke up, he came over to ask me if I wanted to have a baby with him. I said no. Believe me, I had no clue that was my chance! I could have had a baby on my own, of course, but I ultimately decided against that too. Looking back, my life could have expanded in so many different ways if I had said YES to a child. Lesson noted.
Although, things do happen for a reason. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
Since then, I’ve had several romantic relationships. I consider myself lucky in love. Each relationship has helped me grow into who I am. I’ve been on my path – a path of self discovery, empowerment, inspiration, learning and connection. I’ve created my life, every single inch of it.
All the choices I’ve made and everything I’ve done have led me to where I am now. I am comfortable in my own skin. I love myself. I love what I do. I love my life. I count my lucky stars everyday.
Also, you may know, I am a proud mama to the most adorable, 10 week old mini Goldendoodle! And, yes – I am ready to meet my guy.
You just gotta believe and have faith.
Join me for a 7 Day #BreakFree Challenge to bring greater freedom into your life. It’s Free. I’ll give you one specific action step each day for a full week. In just seven days, you’ll feel more empowered, energized, and inspired! That’s a promise. Join here. womanunruled.pages.ontraport.net/breakfree
by Amy Matthews | Jan 30, 2018 | Inspiration, Mindset |
Life is Right. I love this saying. It is so spot on. It’s easy to reject what’s happening in our lives if it’s not something we like. We question why it’s happening and deny that it is. It’s natural to push away what we don’t like, but often our reaction causes us more pain than what happened in the first place.
What if you had radical acceptance of what is? It can be as simple as accepting a trait of a loved one that drives you crazy, or the unkind words your boss said to you. Can you learn to say YES to whatever is happening in the moment? To all the yummy stuff and the not so yummy stuff.
All of us have experienced some of the not so yummy stuff: perhaps you had an early trauma, were let go from a job, or ended a committed relationship. Maybe you were betrayed, or are very ill, or lost a loved one or your life savings. No doubt, these situations are excruciatingly stressful, painful and life changing.
And yet, each time you are dealt a difficult experience, you also have a choice on how you move forward.
Going through a challenging time is an opportunity to feel the pain, grieve, and when you are ready, allow the situation to propel you forward on your life path. At first, spending time under the covers may be a good idea, but at some point, you need to get up, dust yourself off and start creating the new. All you can do is learn from the situation and most importantly, be gentle and compassionate with yourself.
Once you truly accept what is, you will wake up one day and know you’re on the other side. Life circumstances and the choices you make will get you to the right place. You just need to trust and wholeheartedly believe it. Life sometimes brings us lemons and we can choose to make sweet, luscious, liquid nectar out of it. Life is ease-y, life is right.
If you’ve experienced a loss and are grieving, have you ever considered working with a coach? I may be the right one for you. Sign up for your free 20 minute coaching session HERE.
by Amy Matthews | Jan 8, 2018 | Mindset |
Making decisions in life can feel like one big sorting process. I liken it to cleaning out your closet. When you go through your wardrobe to decide what to keep and what to toss, you will inevitably end up having a YES pile, a NO pile, and of course, the MAYBE pile. It’s amazing how much time you can waste deliberating over the maybes! When you can’t decide on what to do about a particular item, you often decide to keep it. At least that’s what I used to do.
I recently had this revelation – there are no Maybes. If we want and choose to, we can make decision-making very simple: it’s either YES or NO. I recently heard this saying from a friend: “If there is doubt, there is no doubt.” Translated, that means NO.
In work, relationships or any other aspect of life, you have to be 100% committed to what you’re creating to make it a success. If you have doubt or find yourself ambivalent about a person or situation, ask yourself: “why am I not all in?”
If it’s not a YES after you’ve put time and energy into making it one and you’re still deliberating, it’s time to cut your losses, put it in the NO pile, and move on. Trust yourself. Have faith there’s a better situation or someone out there just waiting for you.
If you’re having trouble moving forward, hiring a coach may be a great next step. Working with me, you’ll gain clarity and confidence. Together, we’ll map out a plan to get you where you want to go .
Sign up for a free 30 minute coaching session here: https://www.womanunruled.com/coaching-women
by Amy Matthews | Nov 27, 2017 | Mindset |
“Worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening. It just stops you from enjoying the good.” – Author Unknown
“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” – Erma Bombeck
Worrying has become an epidemic among women. There is the healthy kind of worry that is instinctual, like when a parent worries about the safety of their child. But there is the “not so good kind of worry”, a form of anxiety, which leads to overthinking. Do you know what I mean, when you go over and over it in your mind and can’t let it go? This type of worry wreaks havoc on our happiness, health and quality of life! So what’s the solution? Here are a few ways I’ve learned to turn off my worry button.
#1 Share your worry with someone close to you, a sister, friend, partner, or even a journal. By talking or writing it out, It will help you process it. You may realize your worry is not as big as it seems! Either way, getting it out of your head will make you feel better.
#2 Do things that divert your attention. Walk in the sunshine, get on that treadmill, head to a yoga class and breathe. Take yourself out to dinner. Dance! Whatever it is for you. Or listen to that podcast you love.
#3 Live in the moment. Most people worry about situations in the past or things that haven’t happened yet, or may never happen. If you live in the present, you say YES to joy in this very moment. This takes discipline, but it’s worth it: wouldn’t you rather be happy?
#4 Pay closer attention. Slow down and start monitoring your worries. Are they like a ping-pong ball? Are you ruminating about things which you can’t actually control? Is there a pattern to the stories you tell yourself? Once you become aware of your thoughts, they will have less of a grip over you.
Have you joined the #BreakFree Challenge yet? If not, Why Not? Here are a few comments from members:
I feel empowered and refreshed. Thank You!
I’ve learned what I love myself.
Focusing on what I want has been AMAZING!!!
Come on, join the party. It’s an inspiring, highly empowering, learning adventure!
Join here: http://womanunruled.pages.ontraport.net/breakfree
by Amy Matthews | Nov 21, 2017 | Inspiration, Mindset |
I’m over the moon! The article below was published in Susan Hyatt’s Dig Deep on-line magazine! It’s about a very special person in my life, my sister and her unwavering, positive attitude.
Here’s a story about my sister, Susan. Susan is four years older than me and we’ve always had a special relationship. I was her greatest fan growing up, as little sisters often are. I was forever complementing and supporting her because I thought, and still do, that’s she is a beautiful human being inside and out. As an older sister, she has looked out for me. To this day we are very close. I am grateful for our friendship and sisterhood.
Susan has a Type A personality and is 110% an extrovert. She’s a dedicated mother, wife, sister, aunt and friend. She cares deeply for everyone in her life, including people she has just met. She is smart, capable and accomplished. She’s a committed advocate for causes she firmly believes in. She has more energy than she knows what to do with. And like many of us, she can get a bit crazy at times. In her case, it’s because she cares so intensely about the things to which she gives herself that she can get too emotionally involved. Picture a dog with a bone who just won’t let go. This also means that the girl makes things happen and gets shit done. She still somehow finds the time to fill her life to the brim with fun, fun, fun. Everyone loves Susan because she puts so much love and positive energy out into the world. If there ever was a “You Get What You Give” campaign, she would be the poster child.
Growing up, ever since I can remember, when Susan tried to convince our dad to say “yes” to something she desperately wanted to do, she’d say, “Dad, I have to do this now, it may be my only chance!” Susan has continued to live this way since childhood and has never looked back.
I call this “Eating the Brownie”. Living fully, out loud, with #noregrets. My sister Susan is a perfect example of someone who eats the proverbial brownie every day. As a Business and Life-Freedom Coach for Women, I believe in taking action towards what you really want, whatever it is: the things which bring you more joy, inspiration and meaning.
That’s the backdrop of the story. Here’s the second part.
Susan and her husband recently went out of town for a few days. After being abnormally tired one night, she woke up the next morning with tingling in her feet and found she couldn’t walk straight. Something was wrong. They had a jolt of coffee and rushed to the emergency room. After a series of tests to rule out the worst illnesses, she was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune syndrome. She needed immediate treatment and was quickly taken to a nearby hospital where she would spend 5 days. Once treated, the illness left her unable to move her extremities and complete everyday functions. She went from working out on a stair climber one day to not being able to brush her teeth the next. CRAZY…right? And terrifying! She spent the next 10 days in a rehabilitation facility to get back on her feet. Susan has always been a Chatty Cathy so we were all very grateful that she could think and express herself clearly. But she did have to learn how to do things all over again, like walk, dress and write. Things she – and we – take for granted on a daily basis.
Susan felt more vulnerable than ever before in her life. She was thinking “What happens if my whole life is different now?” Her family and loved ones – were all wondering too. Truly frightened, she vehemently declared to her doctors, “I don’t want to die, I have too much to live for! Please don’t let me fall through the cracks!!” Her medical team was top notch and of course, they didn’t.
Susan, miraculously and admirably, has had a positive attitude and outlook through her whole ordeal. Despite intense waves of fear, she went out of the way to be friendly to everyone she met in the hospital, including all the other patients. She was a bright light in other people’s lives during her most difficult moments.
Susan loves her life and everyone in it. She is determined to get 100% back to normal. She believes she will, and so she will. No ifs, ands or buts. Her doctors agree there’s no question that she will. Susan has always found a way to go after what she wants, because she believes wholeheartedly in it and then works hard to get it. I say, it’s a testament to her unwavering positive attitude and determination. I also say, boy do I still look up to my big sister.
Life is amazing and full of surprises. Some good and some not so good. When times get tough, are you able to rise above it with an unflinching can-do attitude, bringing positivity and kindness to those around you? The choice is for each of us to make. I think it can be simple: if you will, you will.
Have you joined the #BreakFree Challenge yet? If not, Why Not? More than 500 people have joined and we have over 270 people in our private Facebook group! Here are a few comments from members:
This is good stuff. Thank YOU!
I’ve learned what I love myself.
Focusing on what I want has been AMAZING !!!
Come on, join the party. It’s an inspiring, highly empowering, learning adventure!
Join here: http://womanunruled.pages.ontraport.net/breakfree
