by Amy Matthews | Nov 7, 2017 | Mindset |
A couple months ago, I went on a 24 hour trip to Boulder, Colorado. I had been invited to an impromptu party with sorority sisters whom I hadn’t seen in more than 20 years. At first, I said I couldn’t make it as I had plans in San Francisco that night. Then I realized I HAD TO GO! I needed to connect with old friends and reclaim that time in my life. Seeing and connecting with women I had once lived with, and hadn’t seen since I was 21. CRAZY…but a good crazy! A total blast from the past.
One of my favorite conversations was with a sorority sister who is very real and honest. We immediately reconnected; it was as if we were transported back to our college days. The first thing she told me was she had been married three times. With her dry sense of humor, she said: “First one – mistake. Second one – sociopath. Third one – eh, he’s a good guy.” She is now happily married to #3. We talked about her marriage to the sociopath and the difficulty she endured. She shared with me what she learned from being with him and how she had grown from the experience. The best part of the story was when she told me how she gained the courage to finally leave him. I said to her: “sometimes it takes several tries to get it right”.
Here’s what I have to say. Don’t ever be scared to make mistakes because we all make them. Sometime they are really big and other times they are relatively minor. Making mistakes helps you grow up and learn what you really want vs. what you thought you wanted. Some of my most profound learnings have come from failed attempts to get what I wanted. If you make a mistake in your career or in a relationship, don’t let it stop you from moving forward towards what you want. Just try again. Own what you want and go after it. Never give up, keep going until you get it right.
I will also add: at some point, you will feel better if you stop making the same mistakes over and over. Better to make new mistakes! Learn from the experience and don’t let go of your dream if you don’t get the result you wanted the first time. Life is one big learning process and it gets messy! Live your life full force and out loud, even when you encounter speed bumps along the way.
I’m offering a free, no obligation, 30 minute coaching session. During our time together, you’ll have a breakthrough in the area of your life that you need it most. This session is for you.
Sign up for your free 30 minute coaching session here
Or click the link below:
https://calendly.com/woman-unruled/30min-a
by Amy Matthews | Oct 31, 2017 | Mindset |
Do you find yourself forever waiting for people or situations to change? Are you waiting for your job to get better, for a colleague to leave the coveted position you want? Or are you waiting for your partner to get through their own shit and show up for you? Maybe you’re waiting to get over your fear of taking the next step towards your biggest dream. Or to become the thin version of yourself. Or to find what you want to do in your life, or to become all that you can be.
I have news for you; waiting is a no-win game. It’s a way to limit yourself, to keep yourself small. Instead of putting yourself in the forefront of your life and taking action, it puts everyone else’s priorities ahead of yours. This can be toxic because more often than not, you end up feeling frustrated or angry.
Your life is happening now! In fact, you are creating it every minute of each day. Don’t wait for life to happen, make it happen. Instead of waiting for a change, create a change. Remember, you are front and center. Figure out what you want to manifest in your life, come up with a plan, and start taking deliberate action. Once you do, things will unfold. It will take time! You will also have to trust! Patience is still a virtue. So is hard work, determination, perseverance, right timing and luck!
If you’d like to move forward in your life or career, I can help. Together, we’ll go through a process to discover what you really want, uncover your mental blocks, build your confidence and most importantly, outline the actions you’ll take to finally get it. I’ll be with you every step of the way.
There’s no better time than now: if you wait until you’re ready, you may be waiting for the rest of your life. I’m offering a free 30 minute coaching session. Come on, let’s go!
Sign up for your free 30 minute coaching session here
by Amy Matthews | Sep 17, 2017 | Mindset |
This blog is about Divorce. Full disclosure, I am far from a divorce expert. Though I haven’t gone through one myself, some of my dearest friends and exes have, which has afforded me an intimate understanding of what people go through.
This goes without saying: divorce is emotionally painful for everyone involved. The process requires going through the loss of what was – just like grieving anything in which you truly are invested.. It requires feeling tough emotions like sadness, anger, regret and shame, to name just a few. It’s important to process your thoughts and feelings, take responsibility for your part in it, mourn the loss of the marriage, and over time, eventually let go.
If I had married in my 20’s or 30’s, there’s a good chance I would have been divorced by now. The reason is that just like you, I am a very different person now than I was then.
I’d like you to consider this:
What if you could look at your divorce as a death or a shedding of a part of YOU who once was, and truly embrace the years you had with your ex and all you created together? What if you could acknowledge that the person you married, no matter how much you love them, doesn’t serve you NOW in who you’ve become?
Of course it is easier said than done, but if you can look at it this way, even for a moment, perhaps you could better cherish, respect, and remember the joys you’ve known with them.
If you would like to put your past behind you, I can help you break free and move forward. Check out my coaching packages HERE.
by Amy Matthews | Aug 22, 2017 | Mindset |
I strongly believe it all starts with our thoughts. If we tell ourselves positive things, we will be happier, more productive, feel energized and feel good about ourselves. And in turn, we will have an optimistic outlook on life and those we share it with. If you actually start listening to what you’re thinking, you’ll know whether you are generating positive and abundant thoughts or critical, angry or anxious thoughts. Tune in and start listening. It is important to choose our words and the tone in which we say them. We often don’t realize how powerful we are and that our words, whether positive or negative, have a huge impact on other people.
As I write this blog, I am reminded of this quote:
“Take care of your thoughts when you are alone, and take care of your words when you are with people.”
Here’s a story I’d like to share with you. I recently made plans to watch a playoff game with a friend. She asked me if another friend of hers could join us and I said of course. I planned to pick her up at 5:30. At 5:15, I texted her to say I was running 15 minutes late. She texted back and said cool, and to meet her at the bar because her friend who was joining us was already there.
I walked into the bar and the two of them were sitting at a table. My friend introduced us since we had never met. Much to my surprise, her friend yelled at us for being late. Instead of a gracious “Hi, great to meet you”, she immediately expressed her anger. I have to admit, I don’t like to be yelled at, but I managed to remain cool and polite. I proceeded to engage her in conversation the entire evening. This woman is smart, capable and very successful. What was going on for her to yell at us like she did?
There was a time in my life that I would have called her “high maintenance”. Instead, I wondered if she was anxious, stressed, or had a bad day. I didn’t ask her directly so I can only guess. What I do know is, she certainly wasn’t thinking good thoughts. It’s simple: if you think good thoughts, you will say good things.
Do you follow me on your favorite social media platform yet? If not, what are you waiting for? For more rule breaking inspiration, join the Woman UnRuled community.
by Amy Matthews | Jul 24, 2017 | Business, Mindset |
I traveled constantly in the first half of my career. I worked for technology companies in sales executive positions with responsibility for the entire U.S. Once I was in Anchorage, Alaska and Palm Beach, Florida – the very same week! I then took over Latin America and traveled to Mexico, Brazil or Argentina three weeks a month from San Francisco. To say the least, I accumulated many miles and a few wrinkles along the way. Now as a coach and executive recruiter, my life is different. I love to travel but I get to do it when I want and it makes a world of difference.
I recently went on a quick trip for pleasure. I left SFO at 11am and was back the next day by 4pm. I hadn’t slept well the night before I left and didn’t sleep well in my hotel room. I was going directly from the airport to my bocce match. Yep, I play on a bocce team – that’s what you do when you live in Sausalito. Because I was tired and a bit spacey, I walked off the plane without my bag. Halfway down the terminal, I remembered so I had to walk back and get it. Strike One. Once I was back to Sausalito, I stopped to get water at the local grocery store before the game. I left my wallet there so I had to go back and get it. Strike Two. Once the bocce match was over, I drove off in my car until I realized I had left my purse at the bocce court. Strike Three. No frickin’ joke. I was scattered and bouncing around like a nutcase. I felt like a spinning top. Chalk it up to being out of practice with traveling? One thing is for sure, my head wasn’t connected to my body. I wasn’t grounded.
It’s easy to get caught up in our hectic lives and forget to pay attention. Being grounded makes a huge difference. What does being grounded mean? It’s when you’re present in your body. You feel centered and balanced, no matter what’s going on around you. I am not one of those naturally grounded people, so I have to work at it. I use tools like meditation, yoga, and hiking to get into my body. I have found that if I am connected to the earth, I am able to listen to myself and hear what I need. If I don’t make it a daily practice, I can get out of balance. But I also can get it back as quickly as I lost it: the next day, no more crazy Amy.
If this sounds at all familiar, add a grounding practice to your morning routine. Go for a walk, take a yoga class or meditate for five minutes a day. Or just take some deep long breaths. You will feel more grounded and better equipped to handle your busy day with grace…I promise.
Speaking of your busy day, do you follow me on your favorite social media platform yet? If not, what are you waiting for? For more rule breaking inspiration, join the Woman UnRuled community.
by Amy Matthews | Jul 14, 2017 | Mindset |
One of my least favorite things is gossip. The definition of gossip is casual conversation about other people, often involving details that are not necessarily true.
I’d like to talk about another kind of gossip which many people wouldn’t consider putting in the same category. When a friend tells you something and you share it with another friend, I call that gossip, even if the information is 100% true and accurate. As women, we are accustomed to care about and focus on others rather than talking about ourselves. Sometimes without being aware of it, we share information about other people as a way to connect with another person.
Truth be told, I consider myself a private person, even though I share myself openly with friends and family. I think it’s not cool or interesting to talk about another person when they aren’t even present. Also, it can zap your precious energy. Wouldn’t you rather share what YOU are excited about or inspired by?
If this at all resonates, I’d like you to consider the following. Next time you find yourself talking about someone else, shift the conversation and start talking about your own dreams, or what book you’re really into right now, or where you’d like to travel next. Tap into what inspires you, or ask the person you’re talking with what inspires them. I guarantee you will feel more energized and uplifted. All of us have a responsibility to create a life we love and that includes channeling positivity. Share the love and make a point to inspire others too!
For more inspiration about relationships, check out Woman UnRuled: Empowering Articles for Women. HERE.
