by Amy Matthews | Sep 30, 2022 | Inspiration, Mindset |
No matter your success, the accolades you receive, or how committed you are to your mindfulness practice, there will be times when something ‘out of left field’ happens that throws you off your game.
You know what I mean. One minute everything is easy-peasy. The next, you’re in freakout mode.
Here are some challenges I’ve heard about recently:
The major client doesn’t renew
The boss yells at you
The potential investor pulls out
A detail was missed and it’s a BIG one
The board preso just didn’t land
A promising employee just quit
The deal went south
When you work hard to accomplish a goal and something unexpected happens, it’s natural for your lizard brain to take over. But here’s the deal: it triggers an anxiety loop you’ve felt before, getting into your own head and making it worse. Then the self-berating and judgment kick in. Down the rabbit hole, you go.
Here are 5 steps to get your feet back on the ground when it feels like the rug has been pulled from under you:
1. Don’t panic and accept what happened.
This isn’t easy and it takes practice! Accepting the situation and not overreacting to it, it will stop the mental spin and help you be present.
2. Do your best to change your perception of what happened because that’s what makes it negative.
Is it really that bad? Once you shift to a more positive light, the experience will have less of a hold on you.
3. Breathe and breathe some more.
Don’t let negative thoughts take over. You know what they say: “Your mind is like a bad neighborhood. Don’t go there alone.”
4. Learn from the situation.
We learn from mishaps and mistakes, not our successes. The good news is, the ‘thing that happened,’ most likely will never happen again.
5. Get creative and find a solution.
Be intentional and forge ahead with a plan of action.
We all fall off balance once in a while, especially as we navigate uncertain times. Be compassionate with yourself! The sooner you shake it off, the sooner you’ll get back into your flow state.
If a stressful situation is in the way of your performance, book a Clarity Call with me via the link below.
by Amy Matthews | Sep 30, 2022 | In-Power, Mindset |
Who doesn’t want to feel confident, comfortable in our skin and have the world by the tail?
Most of us are confident in some situations but not all. You’re killing it at your job. Your pickleball game is off the charts. You just landed a mega client. You are tickled pink about your love life. You got the promotion! But then something happens. Confidence can be tricky and fleeting – one moment you feel it, the next you don’t.
The truth is, real confidence isn’t situational. Confidence is knowing in your heart that you are enough. That you can do anything you put your mind to. That everything will be okay – actually is – okay.
If your confidence wavers, try these 3 steps:
Step 1 – Scrap Looking Good at All Costs
We all want to be liked and admired. But the people pleasing has got to go. Stop caring what others think of you ABOVE all else. The constant overdoing has got to go too. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not about how you look or what you do.
Step 2 – Find Your Purpose
When you have a dazzling north star, you feel connected to what really matters to you. We all have a purpose, it’s your raison d’etre or a deeper desire to serve or contribute. When you marry your authentic brand with your purpose, you are unstoppable.
Step 3 – Create A Bold Life Plan
A plan that is so expansive and inspiring that just thinking about it puts a smile on your face. You have big dreams and ambitions. Create a plan to make it a reality and work it. The more action you take. the more momentum you’ll build. The more momentum, the more motivation you’ll have.
We’re not born with confidence, we learn it. Confidence takes listening to your intuition and trusting yourself. The more you take inspired action towards what you want – regardless of the outcome – the more confident you’ll become.
It’s never too late to build your self-confidence muscle. Start building it today.
by Amy Matthews | May 27, 2022 | Blog, Business, Mindset |
So you are a self-professed high performer. You excel at what you do.
It’s just who you are. You’ve worked hard to cultivate a high-performing mindset.
✔️ You’re on it and run circles around everyone
✔️ You have clarity, especially about the BIG stuff
✔️ Your work/life balance is in check
✔️ You speak up and communicate with compassion AND conviction
✔️ You have courage – in spades
✔️ You make sound and timely decisions
✔️ You’re comfortable in your skin and able to laugh at yourself
✔️ You even rein in your anxiety, ‘cause you know everyone has some
✔️ You feel joy on a regular basis
Congratulations. You’ve made it. You have the world by the tail. Yet, there are times when you fall into traps like these that take you off your game.
✔️ Looking ‘good’ at all costs
✔️ People pleasing
✔️ Comparing yourself to what others say, do, and have
✔️ Doing things the way you’ve always done
✔️ Striving for recognition and approval
✔️ Controlling people and outcomes
✔️ Addiction to over-doing, over-busy and over-working
A high-performing mindset IS NOT these things.
One minute you feel more confident than ever, the next you don’t. That recurring belief you thought you tackled YEARS AGO, rears its ugly head. You know what I mean..the belief ‘I am not good enough’. It comes back to haunt you when things don’t go your way or according to your plan, when you’re out of your comfort zone, or get feedback you don’t like. Moments ago you were feeling AWESOME but now you’re feeling sad and like a LOSER.
If this resonates, I got news for you. Your Identity and self-esteem are tied up in your performance. And that’s always a no-win situation.
Contrary to popular belief:
👉 You are not what you do.
👉 You are not what you accomplish.
👉 You are not what people think of you.
👉 You are not how many likes you get.
👉 You are not how much money you make.
To move out of the “Not Enough Syndrome”, I can help. Book a free clarity call with me below.
by Amy Matthews | Apr 13, 2022 | Blog, In-Power, Mindset |
My days are filled with coaching high-performing individuals and teams. Not only are my clients driven, but they also have demanding jobs. I often witness various levels of anxiety, mainly due to stress.
I can relate. When I was in the corporate world, my anxiety was off the charts. I had a big job, a big team, a big revenue number, and traveled non-stop. I was under pressure to perform, no question. But I put undue added pressure on myself. An unrealistic amount as many overachievers do.
Across the board, anxiety is at an all-time high. Over 300 Million people worldwide struggle with it. We’ve all been touched by anxiety, whether experiencing it firsthand or with someone we know. Some people tout that anxiety is a good thing. That it motivates us, makes us perform better, be better. I think that’s BS.
To achieve what we want to achieve, we don’t need to be stressed out, strive, struggle, over-perform and unhappy. To achieve what we want to achieve, we need excitement, not anxiety.
The word “anxious” is overused in conversation which only adds to spreading more anxiety! How often do you hear someone say:
- I’m anxious to hear about your trip
- How did your interview go? I’m anxious to hear about it
- I’m anxious to learn what happened in the meeting
- I’m anxious to hear about your date
Anxiety is a feeling of worry or nervousness. Excitement, on the other hand, is a feeling of great enthusiasm and interest.
Your words are impactful. Choose them wisely.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 14, 2022 | Blog, Mindset |
I went on a coastal hike with my friend Amber last Saturday. The weather was gorgeous, and like all hikes, we got “it all out on the mountain.” We even tried solving a world problem or two. I hadn’t slept well and the fresh air and conversation were exactly what the doctor ordered.
At one point, we talked about how more people openly are expressing their frustration, anger and anxiety these days. Being cut off in traffic, someone “pulling a nutty” in the grocery store, a neighbor goes off on you. We both wondered why it’s happening. We agreed that it stemmed from feeling a lack of ease and the inability to accept all of their emotions. I said perhaps it threatens their Identity to acknowledge not only their brilliance but also the parts they don’t like within themselves. Amber said, “Ames, you should write about this.”
I searched “identity crisis” and here’s what Google had to say:
An identity crisis is a period of uncertainty in your definition and direction.
Common signs of having an Identity crisis are:
- Questioning who you are
- Questioning your purpose
- Questioning your passion
- Experiencing anxiety
- Altering your values to match your environment or relationship
- Difficulty trusting your ability to make decisions
Some causes of an identity crisis are:
-
- A traumatic event
- Major life transitions
- Loss of someone you love
- Health changes
- Relationship changes
We just went through a traumatic, two-year, global pandemic, on top of dealing with health, career, relationship and loss challenges that many of us faced. A BIG RED LIGHTBULB went off in my head. We’re going through a COLLECTIVE IDENTITY CRISIS.
No wonder some of us are feeling wobbly and uncomfortable in our own skin! Questioning: “Who Am I Now?” and “What Matters to Me?” It’s normal. We’ve had a major upheaval in our day to day so of course, the pandemic affected how we view ourselves, our identity, and our worldview.
If you’re looking to recalibrate, refresh your mojo, reset your compass, claim your unique attributes and recommit to what you truly value and want schedule a FREE 30-minute clarity call with me here.
by Amy Matthews | Feb 1, 2022 | Blog, In-Power, Mindset |
When a friend describes another person as powerful, do you cringe? Or better yet, want to run and hide? If so, you’re not alone.
Many of us are conflicted with the word “power” because it conjures up a vision of someone who believes “my way or the highway”. You know what I mean when someone wants to control your every move. YUCK. This is the old, patriarchal form of power and its intent is to have power over others. It’s fear-based and frankly, so passé.
The new form of power COMES FROM THE INSIDE OF YOU. It’s collaborative, innovative, and synergistic. It starts with KNOWING WHO YOU ARE by claiming your unique attributes and talents.
In a recent workshop, Your Authentic Brand, I shared how to develop the foundation of who you are – from the inside out. We went on a journey to discover who you are today, not who you were before Covid. Or 5 or 10 years ago.
These are the 6 steps we covered for living from a place of confidence within yourself.
1. You’ll discover your natural strengths and gifts. Having a clear understanding of where you excel is just so important. If you’re a natural leader but don’t lean into that strength, you’re leaving part of your value behind.
2. You’ll define your skills, and what you have learned to do. Think of your skills as tools in your tool kit that you use to perfect and master. Your top skills are those someone would pay you to do.
3. You’ll identify your core values. Core values remain constant no matter what’s happening in your life. If you value integrity you make it a priority even when times get tough.
4. You’ll connect with your passions. Passions are those things that light you up and you get joy and inspiration, like traveling, art, or learning something new.
5. Next, you’ll craft your unique branding messages, which are AUTHENTIC statements about you.
6. Lastly, you’ll look at the intersection of your strengths, skills, and passions to find your SUPERPOWERS!
So what were the results of this workshop?
You’ll feel more comfortable in your own skin. You’ll have a renewed sense of what matters to you, now. You’ll have the clarity and courage to ask for what you want. You’ll feel confident to take action that is aligned with your deepest desires.
This workshop is offered twice a year. If you’d like to be the first to know when it is offered. Download a copy of The Confidence Map and get on my list for weekly inspirations and updates on online workshops.
