11 Rules To Break To Set Yourself Free

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How to Avoid Conflict this Holiday Season. Read This.

How to Avoid Conflict this Holiday Season. Read This.

Many people have a short fuse these days.

Not only are the holidays upon us, add the stressors of congregating with extended family, the lingering effects of the pandemic, worldwide divisiveness, weather mayhem, and end-of-year work issues, we have a lot on our plates and a lot to digest. As a client of mine so aptly put, “There is a feeling of chaos everywhere.”

The current environment is a perfect storm for altercations to arise. Conversations can ignite, quickly escalate and get out of hand.

Here are a few tips to avoid conflict this holiday season:

👉 Don’t be surprised if a disagreement arises. There is a ton of frustration and anger in the air. If you are on the receiving end, before firing back a response, take a moment and breathe.

👉 Be curious. Hmm..why is she/he/they upset? Is it about me or just transference taking place? 9 times out of 10, the reason the person is upset has nothing to do with you.

👉 Do your best to not take what he/she/they say personally. I know, easier said than done! Yet, it is easier than opening yourself up to attack or an explosive conversation.

👉 State your truth in a calm, centered, compassionate manner. By all means, avoid saying things back like:

👉 “You make no sense.”
👉 “You are so defensive.”
👉 “I told you so.”
👉 “You shouldn’t do it that way.”
👉 “You never listen.”

👉 All verbal disasters waiting to happen.

If you follow the steps above and are still under personal attack, agree to disagree. Or table the conversation for another time. Or walk away. This way you will avoid hearing and saying things you will regret.

And the final step?

SHAKE IT OFF AND GO ABOUT YOUR DAY. Just like my dog, Pie does.

What breakthrough are you seeking?

The B Word. Boundaries.

The B Word. Boundaries.

The topic of boundaries is coming up in conversations with clients these days – I MEAN A LOT.  With the added pressure of the holidays and finishing out the year, the need for setting boundaries is everywhere.

Boundaries at work with bosses, employees, customers and clients. At home and our social lives, with spouses/partners, children, friends and community. We know boundaries are important, yet most of us struggle to create them.

It’s human nature to want to be loved and accepted so we believe if we say NO, a calamity could happen. We will be rejected. Or judged. Or labeled not good enough, not reliable enough. Or nixed out of the group. Our fear and mental chatter takes over and sounds something like:

If I can’t meet the deadline, they won’t be my client. If I say NO, I won’t get the promotion. If I say NO, he/she/they might quit and shit will hit the fan. If I say NO, he/she/they won’t like me or will move on to someone else. If I say NO, I won’t be asked back again.

Who am I to have boundaries, anyway? 

Who are you not to have boundaries. With all that’s happening in our world, it’s time to let the old chatter go. Boundaries are essential for our productivity, success, wellbeing and happiness.

If you find yourself at wit’s end without reserve in your tank, perhaps, you’re saying YES to working 14 hour days or to people who don’t respect your schedule, or to the demands of your kids or catering to others expectations of you and to what you’ve always done for them.

We can’t always have things the way we want them. No question, there are many times we need to say YES out of obligation or duty –  that’s just life. Saying YES is a good thing but not all the time. Saying NO is the first step to finding room for what we want more of in our lives. 

Boundaries empower us and contribute to feeling we’re in the DRIVER’S SEAT of our lives.

Is there one boundary you can set today?

What breakthrough are you seeking?

The Art of Listening: Your Most Important Leadership Skill

The Art of Listening: Your Most Important Leadership Skill

We hear it all the time. “You’re not listening to me.” “They totally missed my point.” “He/she talked over me.” Our desire to be heard and understood is a basic universal need. When we feel listened to, we feel connected, and closer to the person and it contributes to our well-being. When we don’t feel listened to, we get frustrated, and angry and dig our heels into our point of view. Not feeling listened to begets not listening.

Social media, email, texting and Slack make teams more efficient for sure but the downside is we have fewer conversations. I’m a huge fan of Slack but it’s not a one-hit wonder. There is much room for misinterpretation, and nuances are missed which can lead to confusion and not being on the same page.

Add the fact that the attention span of humans is less than a guppy, the art of listening has gone by the wayside. But here’s the thing: we think we need to listen so the other person feels acknowledged. The truth is, that listening is good for the listener. It increases empathy and keeps us cognitively engaged and focused. It’s even proven that the less you talk, the more you enjoy the conversation!

I help my coaching clients with all kinds of communication. Prepping for board meetings, interviews, team kick-off meetings, how to ask for the promotion, how to let someone go. What to say and how to say it, with clarity, connection and conviction. Listening is as important or more important than perfecting your message and what you want to say.

Why Listening Matters

  1. According to a McKinsey study, teams that prioritize communication and actively listen are 50% more likely to have high productivity levels. As leaders, our ability to listen directly impacts the bottom line.
  2. The International Journal of Listening highlights that effective listening reduces the potential of conflicts escalating. Teams where leaders actively listen experience 40% fewer conflicts.

Here are 6 Tips to Sharpen Your Listening Skills:

  1. Be present which means remove all distractions. Turn off your devices. Being fully present shows respect and creates a deeper connection.
  2. Get out of your head. Most people are thinking about what they want to say next vs. truly listening. Put yourself aside and focus on the other person.
  3. Ask open-ended questions. The name of the game is “Be Curious”! Asking open-ended questions gives people permission to tell you what they really think.
  4. Keep it simple and brief. Don’t get into the weeds or go off on a tangent. Clear and concise communication fosters better understanding and connection.
  5. Do your best not to interrupt.I know how it feels when you get excited and dying to make your point! Take a few breaths or count to three before responding.
  6. Remove judgment and bias. Be open to a different point of view, you’ll learn something! Judgment and criticism are linked and no one wants that 🙂

Will the noise and constant change around us, being a leader who is grounded and intently listens will set you apart. Listening is not just hearing what another person says. Listening is the ability to understand what others are saying and having them trust you. Cultivating your listening skills will create a more engaged team and. provide you with more fulfillment in your leadership journey.

To be a good leader, you have to be a great listener.

-Richard Branson

What breakthrough are you seeking?

8 Ways a Career Transition Coach Can Fuel Your Job Search

8 Ways a Career Transition Coach Can Fuel Your Job Search

In the ever-evolving job market, managers and leaders of all types find themselves in the challenging position of seeking new opportunities or wanting to make a change.

In fact, 75% of all Americans will be seeking a new job this year. Crazy, right?

No one on the planet likes looking for a new job. Navigating a career transition can feel daunting. Yet with the right guidance and support, you can significantly improve the outcome of your job search. 

The right career transition coach can help you thrive while looking for your dream job. They will provide you with tools, strategies, and insights throughout the process and also help you flourish in your new role. 

8 ways a career transition coach can help you up your job search game:

1. Discover your Strengths, Values, Passions and Purpose

A coach can help you identify your strengths, skills, values, and passions. Through self-assessment exercises and discussions, together, you will uncover what will make you happy professionally.

2. Clarifying Goals

Once you’ve discovered what truly matters to you, your coach will help you set clear and achievable goals. They’ll assist you in defining short-term and long-term objectives and plotting your course that you can follow during your job search.

3. Creating a Magnetic Resume

Your resume is often the first impression on potential employers. A coach can help you craft a compelling resume that highlights your relevant skills and accomplishments, making you stand out from others.

4. Optimizing Your LinkedIn Profile

Your LinkedIn profile is key for your visibility and connections.. A coach can provide expert guidance on how to create an attention-grabbing LinkedIn profile that attracts recruiters and hiring managers.

5. Personal Branding 

A career transition coach can help you build a personal brand that communicates your unique value proposition. They’ll show you how to articulate your strengths and what sets you apart from the competition.

6. Interview Preparation + Role Play

A coach can help you refine your interview skills, provide mock interview sessions, and offer constructive feedback to boost your confidence and performance during interviews.

7. Networking Strategies 

We all know the power of networking. A coach can teach you effective networking strategies and leverage your existing connections to uncover hidden job opportunities.

8. Motivation and Emotional Support 

The primary function of a coach is to help you stay focused, maintain a positive mindset, and overcome the ups and downs that can come up throughout your job search journey.

So why invest in a career transition coach? It’s an investment in your future. Working with a career transition coach will result in saving you time and frustration and ultimately help you land a more fulfilling and higher-paying position.

If you’re a manager or executive considering a career change or simply want to enhance your job search strategy, consider partnering with me for your job search. I’ll empower you to make aligned decisions, maximize your potential, and uplevel your professional life. 

To determine if working with me is a smart move, book a complimentary clarity call with me here.

Here’s a link to download my program brochure.

What breakthrough are you seeking?

Gratitude: The Spirit of Thanksgiving

Gratitude: The Spirit of Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving. Those who haven’t been directly affected by the devastating wars around the world have much to be grateful for. I count my lucky stars everyday.

With collective conflict and polarization around every corner, it’s easy for divisiveness to seep into our own relationships. Perhaps what we need most right now is to listen better. To be curious, curb our judgment and open to another’s point of view. I know it’s a big ask but we can try. We all know what it feels like to not be understood. It’s frustrating, resentment and anger builds and we dig our heels into what we believe.
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Take a moment and ask:

What am I grateful for about the person across the table who believes what he/she/they believe?

We can hold different opinions and at the same time, give gratitude to the people we care about. When you are grateful and acknowledge another, you can grant permission to be grateful for yourself too. You in turn will show up and be present to others. You can have your cake and eat it too. (or Thanksgiving pie.)
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In the spirit of Thanksgiving:

Thank people who contribute to your life.
Thank you for being YOU.
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Most importantly, be grateful for the fortunate situation you find yourself in.

​​​​​Wishing you a delicious, connected and fun holiday! May we pause, reflect and open our hearts to joy.

What breakthrough are you seeking?

Considering A Career Pivot? Read this.

Considering A Career Pivot? Read this.

It’s a brand-spanking new year, So what’s next for you?

With all the changes over the past three years, it still can feel like the landscape is shifting under our feet. Many clients, friends and others I talk with are reconsidering what they believe in, value, and want from their careers.

Here are a few examples:

  • Some laid off, feeling confused, doubting themselves, their skills, and their value.
  • Others wake up most days with a nagging feeling of not being fulfilled, after being on the fast track for years.
  • Another, who is in a soul-sucking job knows she can’t go on another minute. 
  • Entrepreneur clients have come to the conclusion their business model is no longer sustainable.

No matter your current situation, whether you’ve had a recent setback, facing failure you didn’t create or feel you lost your true north, it’s easy for anxiety and to rear its ugly head. When making any change, it’s natural to question what matters, your purpose, direction, and even your very own existence.

After working with hundreds of people to navigate their next position, I’ve learned if you stay grounded, committed, and willing to see it through, you will find your next position – that’s the perfect fit.  I’ve also found that these proven and effective tips will make any career transition easier:

Proven + Effective Tips To Make Any Career Transition Easier

1) BE INTENTIONAL

Develop the criteria that you want in your next position. What industries? What size companies? What’s the role? What are the people and culture like? What attributes in a boss do you want?

2) LEAD WITH AND LEVERAGE YOUR STRENGTHS

Own who you are which includes your strengths, skills, values and passions and what sets you apart from others. Your authenticity is your strongest asset.

3) BE DISCERNING AND HAVE AN ABUNDANT MINDSET

Think quality over quantity. If a company or position doesn’t light you up, it’s not for you. There will be others that do. Be committed to what you are looking for, while open to possibilities.

4) DEVELOP A STRATEGY AND PLAN

Start with creating a list of target companies. Research job openings. Get your resume and LI Profile up to snuff. Leverage your LI network and contacts.

5) INTERVIEW PREPARATION

Research and do your homework. Spend three times the amount of time of the actual interview preparing for it. Develop a list of questions you want to ask. Think of it as a first date.

6) TRUST THE PROCESS

More often than not, there will be twists and turns through the process. Hold out for the right position and be confident you will land a meaningful role where you can make a difference.

Looking for fulfillment in your next role that is aligned with your natural talents and what you value, ?