I was talking with a potential client early this week. She reached out because she wanted help figuring out what to work on to feel more comfortable at work. She’s smart, strategic and a high performer, as most of my clients are.
As we started to dig into her situation, I learned she works at an entrepreneurial company within a small team and the only female. It quickly became clear she needed help expressing her desires to her boss. She wanted more involvement in strategic projects and have her boss mentor her. Both fair requests. She knew what she wanted but was looking for the right words, something I help my clients with all the time.
We talked about how men and women communicate differently, how to have an intention for every conversation and how to be succinct and direct (just say it). She was clear on what to say yet she was holding back from saying it. She started questioning and doubting herself and had these all too familiar thoughts swirling in her head:
Can I ask for what I want?
How will I be perceived?
What if he says NO?
What if come across as too aggressive?
Then she recalled this story:
When she was applying for one of her first jobs, she asked a male friend for feedback on her cover letter. He dissected it, took out paragraphs that were fillers and helped her get to the point. Then he said to her: CHANNEL YOUR INNER WHITE MAN.
That got my attention. I get that phrase may be offensive to some, yet it works for this particular client. The truth is, we all identify with words that make us feel more powerful and confident. What words work for you? Here are a few ideas to get the party started:
CHANNEL YOUR INNER BADASS
CHANNEL YOUR INNER GODDESS
CHANNEL YOUR INNER WARRIOR
CHANNEL YOUR INNER SUPER HERO
If we all channeled a more confident and direct version of ourselves, asked for what we wanted, while not taking things personally, we would be powerful beyond measure.
To get the results you want from your next strategic conversation, channel your inner fill in the blank. Try it, it works.
