Rage is in the air. I guess it’s no surprise that Bob Woodward’s new book is titled, Rage. Many of us are feeling it individually and collectively.
Here’s a story:
Two weeks ago I had a date with a man I recently met. On our first date, he told me he wasn’t political so on our second date, I decided I wouldn’t bring up the election. The weather was gorgeous and I wanted to enjoy an easy-breezy night out, to remind me of the carefree days of old.
A woman was sitting by herself at the table next to us. We struck up a conversation with her, chatted about where we live, art, among other things. Out of the blue, she asked: Who are you voting for?
I replied: Biden.
Then, naturally asked: Who are you voting for?
Biden, she said. She turned to my date and asked: Who are you voting for?
He said: I’m undecided.
She then said: Trump is dangerous.
Thinking I would stay out of the fray, I said: Give us an example of what you mean by dangerous?
She replied: The issue of climate change is so important for our future. I have children.
He said: I agree with you. I have kids too.
Then, he said: What did you think about the debate? I think Pence was outstanding. Kamala was horrible and so disrespectful.
Ok, now I was curious. I shared my point of view which was different than his. After a few minutes, he threw his hands up in the air and with a fierce, angry look in his eyes, said: I can’t handle this! I am out of here. His rage was palpable. He got up, paid the check, and left.
I was stunned. I thought we were having a conversation. His blowing up wasn’t about me or what I said. It quickly dawned on me that this conversation was a microcosm of what’s happening in our country.
Fast forward to this week. Three clients told me they are raging, all for very different reasons.
Rage and fear are connected. We feel rage when we are threatened or feel an injustice of some kind. When we feel we have been wronged by another person or by our current or past circumstances, it’s natural to feel fearful and vulnerable.
So what to do with your rage? Feel it, process it, understand it. Work with a coach or therapist to uncover the underlying reasons for the injustice you feel.