It’s a human need to want to be ourselves and be accepted for who we are.
After my corporate gigs, I joined a start-up as VP of Sales which had just received an unheard amount of capital, a whopping $36 Million in its B round.
The CEO was 32, Stanford MBA, with little leadership and operational experience. To say it kindly, he was a control freak and needed to know my every move. I had been accustomed to a lot of autonomy so it was a bit of a shock and an adjustment. He also wanted the entire team to eat lunch at the company – every day. Lunch was bologna on Wonder bread, which if you know me at all, is not my cup of tea.
So what did I do? I’d go out and buy a salad.
Early on, the CEO wasn’t receptive to what I had to say, about anything. Again something I wasn’t accustomed to. In retrospect, he may have thought I was rebelling when I spoke up or didn’t eat bologna. The culture was hierarchical, dominating, and fear-based. I knew after the first week, it was a terrible fit. Instead of accepting I had made the wrong choice, I resisted it. I thought I could make it work, which only made me more stressed and miserable.
No matter the culture – whether it’s within a company, family, romantic relationship or friendship, none of us want to feel contained or controlled. When we feel we can’t be ourselves, it’s natural to shrink, feel suffocated or resentful.
We always have a choice. We can either accept the situation we’re in or not.
There are pros and cons to every job, relationship or company. You get to choose what’s right for you. Do a Ben Franklin. If there are more pros, then stay. If there are more cons, bring up your concerns, if the situation allows for it. If not, perhaps it’s time to go.
Decision making – made easy. It’s simple if we let it.
