As women, many of us have difficulty prioritizing our own needs. It’s not surprising. The truth is, we’re culturally programmed to take care of others first. We can go through our entire lives without ever considering our own needs and wants. Whenever I ask a coaching client, “What Do You Need?, I often get a “deer in the headlights” response.
Here’s a story about a client of mine:
She recently accepted a new job with a well known financial services company. She’s a single mom and for several years, had been working for a family run business. The owner was demanding and expected her to be available on weekends at his beck and call. He wasn’t nice, lacked social intelligence and when he was in the office, she was on pins and needles. Not Fun.
One day, much to her surprise, she was put on a 90 day improvement plan. This highly competent woman had been told she was doing a very good job. To say the least, the news was puzzling – and threatening.
Smart woman that she is, she began looking for another job and within weeks, she was offered a position with better pay, vacation and benefits. Yay! When she gave notice to her current employer, again, much to her surprise, they countered and asked her to stay. They told her “They Needed Her”. Those three words were the hook.
She was torn and was deliberating over whether to stay or go. All her life, she chose to do things because she was needed. When I asked her Why, she said, being needed was a role she was familiar with and good at. We talked about how she’d been conditioned to put the needs of others first at the expense of understanding her own.
This is what I said to her:
You can choose to create a stable future for yourself or continue working for a boss that doesn’t respect you and treats you poorly. It’s not easy to change a life long pattern. Be kind to yourself. The more you make choices that support you, the better you’ll get at it.
At some point, we’ve all been in her shoes. We’ve all made choices that are not in our best interest. We’ve all put the needs of others before our own. We’ve all made choices that don’t support what we need and really want.
It’s Time to Uncover and Understand what You Need and Want.
t’s Time to Make Choices that Support You.
It’s Time to #BreakFree and Live the Life You’ve Always Imagined.
