Here’s a story I want to share about a client of mine. She’s 37 years old, articulate, and highly intuitive. She has a stable career as a nurse, owns a home and is dedicated to raising her two children. She was married for 20 years and she divorced less than two years ago. Her ex is a good father, and dedicated to her and their two girls. They just grew apart.
For the past year and a half, she’s been dating a younger man from work. She loves him very much and he loves her too. They have an amazing bond and their chemistry is off the charts.
One BIG Problem:
She found out from his mother that he was also seeing someone else for the past 9 months. She confronted him and he finally admitted it. She broke it off and he continued to pursue her. Vehemently. She decided to allow him back into her life even though her intuition says he’s still with the other person. She’s heartbroken. She feels rejected and preoccupied with the idea that he is choosing the other woman over her.
I asked her to list the things she knew about this man from her time being with him. How he showed up, and what his actions revealed about him. Just the facts. Here’s what she came up with:
* Emotionally immature
* Not faithful
* Not honest
* Not trustworthy
* Not ready for commitment
I then asked her a simple question.
Does she want to be with a man who’s emotionally immature? Not faithful? Not honest? Not trustworthy? Not ready for commitment? Her answer was a resounding NO.
I told her that she was rejecting him, not the other way around. He’s not able to give her what she wants. It’s not about her vs. the other woman. He simply isn’t ready. Period.
Rejection can have such a hold on us that it’s sometimes hard to see straight. I know how hard it is to let go of someone you love dearly. It’s painful. It takes courage. It takes guts. But by doing so, you are ultimately saying YES to yourself.
Say YES to Yourself. Say Yes to What You Want. Do Not Waiver. Even When It’s Hard.