Most high performers and I include myself in this category, expect a lot from themselves. Unrealistically so. We consistently overdo and over busy while at the same time, never feel ‘enough’. I see this across the board with my clients. As a recovered ‘hard on myself” master, I get it.
There isn’t a better time to release the mental chatter in our minds that doesn’t make us feel good or empowered. There isn’t a better time to start making permanent changes.
On that note, I am delighted to be published in an UpJourney article! It’s called “How to Not Beat Yourself Up.” My contribution is below.
How to Not Beat Yourself Up.
Across the board, women and men are hard on themselves. Especially high achievers. We live in a culture that worships perfection, overvalues how we look and perform and where playing the comparison game is the daily norm. Social media only makes matters worse. No wonder, many of us base our entire identity and on how others perceive us!
The truth is, we have lost our own sense of who we are and the ability to validate ourselves. No question, we all want to be loved and accepted. Yet, basing our entire self-worth on how others perceive us, is a disaster waiting to happen. There is no such thing as ‘perfect’. As we strive for the unattainable, feelings of unworthiness, anxiety, and self-doubt seep in – all contributors to low self-esteem.
So what to do about it? We learn to stop berating ourselves, comparing ourselves to others, and nix our expectations that cause disappointment and heartache. We learn to feel comfortable in our own skin and ultimately, become the authority of our own lives.
Ask yourself, “Why do I believe I need to be perfect?”
Perhaps like many of us, it was how we learned to get love as a small child. Ask yourself, then ask the question again. I bet you’ll get a different answer. You’ll recognize that you are loved for who you are – not only for what you accomplish or how you look.
Please stop the self-doubt talk
Doubting yourself and your actions are usually about what happened in the past. “Did I say the wrong thing?” Should I have said Yes?” “Was I Too Much?” Trust your intuition. Trust yourself and the decisions you make. If you focus on what’s happening right now, you can make a positive impact on the present and a difference in your future.
Release the judgment
Judgment only leads to negativity and an overly critical view of everything – the world, yourself, and all the people who truly matter to you. Judgment is heavy. It dilutes your precious energy. Instead, direct your energy into things that you love and inspire you.
Stop being your worst critic
Who are you to think less of yourself than others do? Belittling yourself is passe – it only keeps you small. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Make besties with your deliciously, imperfect self.
Let go of expectations of yourself
Expectations only create disappointment, especially if they aren’t met. Be open to how situations unfold. The outcome may be better than you imagined.
Try not to compare yourself or your life to others
The comparison game is usually played with someone you think has more or is doing more than you. Most likely, that isn’t true!
Let go of how you think you’re supposed to be
Instead of being and doing what you think you are supposed to be and do, claim who you really are. Your authentic self is your most powerful weapon.
Don’t let mistakes stop you in your tracks
We all make them. You are more than worthy and enough. Learn from your mistakes and try not to make them again.
We all deserve a break from being hard on ourselves. Pass this on to a friend or two – they will thank you for it.
You can read the entire UpJourney article “How to Stop Beating Yourself Up” here.
Tired of beating yourself up and ready to love yourself more? Schedule a FREE clarity call with me here and to get your first step towards becoming your best self.