Conflicts with Friends: 13 Ways to Communicate Without Drama

“Treat your friends like you do your best pictures; place them in the best light.” ~Unknown

I recently had a disagreement with a close friend.

There was a good deal of uncontrolled emotion on my side. I wasn’t expressing myself well and I knew it. I became more and more frustrated and less effective at explaining my feelings.

I found myself laying unwarranted blame on my friend rather than admitting openly that something was hurting me and I was feeling vulnerable.

Ultimately, he said the words I was having trouble finding for me, and that resolved the situation.

I was embarrassed and grateful, but I realized I needed to evaluate a few of my shortcomings to avoid making the same mistake again.

I also realized that what I was feeling wasn’t the problem.

It was my inability to effectively convey what was in my heart and on my mind that led to hurt feelings and further misunderstanding.

After much self examination, I’ve come up with a few tips to communicate effectively during a conflict.

1. Think about whether this needs to be said right now, in this moment.

Sometimes the opportunity will be missed if not.

In my case, I felt I needed to bring the subject up right then or I might not have gotten the nerve again. I went for it, but it could have gone better if I’d waited to form a well organized idea of what I wanted to say.

Read the Full Article: Conflicts with Friends: 13 Ways to Communicate Without Drama

How to Fight: 10 Rules of Relationship Conflict Resolution

Read the Full Article: How to Fight: 10 Rules of Relationship Conflict Resolution

10 Abundance-Manifesting Secrets To Practice In Your Daily Life

Anyone can set an intention to earn a million dollars, but to make a habit of manifesting abundance in your daily life is easier said than done. Here are 10 secrets to help you practice:

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Conventional notions of what it means to love are populated with expectations for reciprocity that often get us into trouble. I know this personally, because whenever I have “freely” given my love, and it has not been rewarded with reciprocity, I have often come face to face with my resentment.

This has been especially true of my intimate relationships. I want the people who fall into this category, in particular, to reciprocate my love. I expect them to. But, as Thich Nhat Hanh points out, love is expansive, not constrictive.

I had a boyfriend once, for example, who although he seemed to genuinely like spending time with me, didn’t make our relationship much of a priority in his life. This was a guy who was pretty laid back in general and so I discounted his reserve and tried to be patient, thinking we’d eventually turn a corner.

What became clear, over the course of four years, is that my patience was thinly veiling a whole host of, now, disappointed expectations for reciprocity. And in the end I felt angry and betrayed.

The question is: by whom really?

When some time had passed, and I was able to look back on the situation with a little more objectivity, it became clear I’d entered into the relationship with typical expectations for attention, time, comfort, and affection—in other words, an agenda.

I don’t mean to say there is anything wrong with wanting to be loved. There isn’t, of course. It is a good and natural impulse.

We all deserve the love of our intimate others and should be careful to choose partners whose love for us is a natural, abundant outpouring of their feelings, and investment in us and our wellbeing.

Read Full Article: Loving Others Without Expecting Them to Fill a Void