Twelve years ago I went to Goa, India with my sister to attend a lavish, off the charts birthday party of one of her friends. We then met her husband and kids and explored Rajasthan. After an amazing 10 days, we parted ways as they were continuing on and I was flying back to San Francisco that night.
I had a full day to explore Delhi on my own. The hotel told me about a grand bizarre that was happening that day, a place selling beautiful, Indian scarves and shawls. It was held in a large warehouse and individual artisans were selling their creations. The space was dark and dimly lit.
I was looking at a particular shawl and asked the artisan if there was better light to see. He didn’t understand what I was asking and I heard a man’s voice behind me translating what I was saying. As I turned around to see who was helping me, a very tall, handsome Indian man, with sparkly brown eyes was smiling at me.
We struck up a conversation. His name was Niraj. He lived in Washington D.C., worked for the World Bank and was In India visiting his parents. Our interaction was light and playful, yet intense, in an out of this world way. We exchanged information.
As I walked away, I said to myself, Wow, what was that?
When my plane landed back in the States, I had an email from Niraj, asking me to meet for tea the following day. I told him I had just flown back and he said he would call me when he returned home in a couple of weeks. At that moment, even though we lived on opposite coasts, I knew we would get together. I just knew – in my heart and soul.
After being back in San Francisco for a month, I wondered why I hadn’t heard from Niraj. A couple days later, he called. He told me he was at John Hopkins hospital. He had returned from India 2 weeks prior and was having dizzy spells. After many tests, he found out he had a rare type of brain cancer.
Life can change on a dime.
Crazy as it sounds, I had a feeling I could fall in love with this man – and at the same time – I thought he might die. It scared me. Instead of moving towards it, I decided to protect myself. I rationalized my feelings – we could stay in touch and be friends.
Niraj died less than one year after we met. I’ve learned a lot since then. Looking back, I regret not saying “Yes” to it. I could have experienced love of a lifetime. It could have changed my life forever.
What moves your heart and soul? What are you not saying YES to? Whatever it is, go forward. Even if it’s scary. Or inconvenient. Or messy.
Life is shorter than we think. Take action towards what you want – that brings you joy – that stirs you – every single day.
Heed the call. Live with #NoRegrets.
