The topic of boundaries is coming up in conversations with clients these days – I MEAN A LOT. With the added pressure of the holidays and finishing out the year, the need for setting boundaries is everywhere.
Boundaries at work with bosses, employees, customers and clients. At home and our social lives, with spouses/partners, children, friends and community. We know boundaries are important, yet most of us struggle to create them.
It’s human nature to want to be loved and accepted so we believe if we say NO, a calamity could happen. We will be rejected. Or judged. Or labeled not good enough, not reliable enough. Or nixed out of the group. Our fear and mental chatter takes over and sounds something like:
If I can’t meet the deadline, they won’t be my client. If I say NO, I won’t get the promotion. If I say NO, he/she/they might quit and shit will hit the fan. If I say NO, he/she/they won’t like me or will move on to someone else. If I say NO, I won’t be asked back again.
Who am I to have boundaries, anyway?
Who are you not to have boundaries. With all that’s happening in our world, it’s time to let the old chatter go. Boundaries are essential for our productivity, success, wellbeing and happiness.
If you find yourself at wit’s end without reserve in your tank, perhaps, you’re saying YES to working 14 hour days or to people who don’t respect your schedule, or to the demands of your kids or catering to others expectations of you and to what you’ve always done for them.
We can’t always have things the way we want them. No question, there are many times we need to say YES out of obligation or duty – that’s just life. Saying YES is a good thing but not all the time. Saying NO is the first step to finding room for what we want more of in our lives.
Boundaries empower us and contribute to feeling we’re in the DRIVER’S SEAT of our lives.
Is there one boundary you can set today?